BackParenting
Hi first time ever posting on here! Not really sure what I'm expecting just a bit of advice to be honest.
My daughter has just recently turned 2 me and her dad haven't been together the whole time shes been born. She was doing 2 nights a week at his, every week she was coming home with SEVERE nappy rash to the point where she was holding her wee in because of how bad it hurt and was screaming and crying because of it. There were some occasions she came home physically dirty, greasy hair and black nails. She was always starving and extremely thirsty to. She was acting completely different when coming back from his care, being extremely withdrawn, very quiet (shes a extremely chatty girl normally) and very clingy which i understand can be separation anxiety. One time when she went she wasnt very well which i had explained to him before she went. I had asked if she had been sick or anything and he stated that she hasnt and was perfectly fine. His girlfriend then text me a few days later saying that she had thrown up and wasnt changed after either and had a extremely upset belly and was left in the dirty nappy all night (which also shame on her as she just let it happen and was there) She had also told me how my daughter will completely avoid him. I had a conversation with him and expressed my concerns and said i dont feel like nights are working out best anymore as im extremely concerned neglect is going on, he was completely okay with nights stopping and we had agreed on her going just two days a week instead as hes still her dad. He then used the excuse he didnt have a car and couldnt have her 2 days a week as he didnt have a car (he lives 10 minutes down the road) so then he only has been seeing her once a week. He has now had a car sorted for weeks and its still only being once a week hes seeing her. Now when he does take her he drops her off at his nans and goes out with his partner which again is his choice. My daughter is now extremely confused why she isnt seeing him, is constantly asking about him and gets upset whenever someone comes to the door as she goes running asking if its daddy and cries when it isnt him. Her behaviour has changed so much shes becoming aggressive, having sleeping problems and getting really upset shes such a different girl now its heartbreaking. Shes starting nursery next month and ive said to him if we can start doing the weekends so then shes not going back and fourth between houses and nursery as i dont want to unsettle her more, hes completely avoided it. Ive suggested him facetiming her a few times a week if he genuinely cant come and see her just so she isnt as confused but hes completely turned it down. Thankfully my partner has been extremely supportive and helpful and does everything he can to cheer my daughter up. Ive had a few people tell me to cut contact completely but im not sure if thats the best option? He isnt on her birth certificate either as he had blocked me when our daughter was in nicu because he didnt want his new girlfriend finding out he had a baby. I just really want whats best for her i dont want my baby being hurt. Sorry for the rant and thank you for reading!