AIBU to think nail extensions are inappropriate for a nine-year-old?

[Earpaloma]

I think I know the answer to this, but honestly interested in others' views on it...

I've changed my name as I'm pretty sure the Mum in question is on here, and posts under my usual username would make me easily identifiable.

A friend, not particularly close, but we are schoolgate Mums and have DCs of similar ages, has a just 9-year-old daughter, whose birthday was in the last couple of weeks. Apparently Mum had promised her that she could have her nails done for the first time during the school holidays, and booked a surprise appointment for her yesterday at a local nail place. When she told me, I assumed she would just have a file and polish or a kid's manicure....but no - she has just posted on social media a picture of her daughter's nails, complete with 'her first little extensions'. She has clearly had BIAB or at the very least gel, and tip extensions. The nail art consisted of pink flowers and leopard print tips. The length and style of the nails look totally out of place on such a young girl's hands.

Am I being totally unreasonable to be really bloody angry about this? I'm cross with the Mum for allowing it. and I'm even more angry with the shop for agreeing to do it. All those chemicals and weight on young fingers, and the girl in question isn't of the most delicate and gentle persona - she loves her scooter and skateboards, and plays rough and tumble with her older brother. I can see something really horrible happening here....

Surely this isn't right? And I know it's sod all to do with me, hence I am ready to be told I'm being v.v. UR and need to keep my opinions to myself!

What?! I’ve not seen this at all and i have 14&17 year olds … 17 year old is at art college and still, quite rare?!

It's all the way through school. At one point the youngest I saw was yr9, but now plenty of yr7s have them. Proper nail bar sets.

I don’t think it’s your business enough to be ‘bloody angry’. Nail salons shouldn’t be touching a 9 year olds nails though, they won’t be covered in terms of insurance. Very risky.

It isn't really appropriate, but you are being rather dramatic to be "really bloody angry" about it

How is it risky to put gels on someone?

Not sure about the legalities but my nail tech won’t work on anyone under the age of 14 as it invalidates her insurance (unless it is just plain nail polish). I’d be worried about the chemicals and the UV lamp damage to the cuticle skin on such a young girl

Because their nails are much thinner and absorb stuff more, gels are made of chemicals (is it a resin? or acrylics) which can set off massive allergies (more common on sensitive kids skin), plus putting them under uv rays to set the gel is not good for anyone but especially kids.

I'm not speaking from some massive summit of virtue - my kid's dying for them so I have bought hideous (to me) primark stick on ones which I'm sure are objectionable in many ways and got her some well-recommended adhesive tabs for sensitive skin. She's delighted with herself.

Yeah, it's disgusting. Let kids be kids.

Nail tech here - under 14 gel polish with parental consent but absolutely NO extensions! If they were done in a salon they aren’t covered by insurance.
in the 15 years of doing nails I’ve never had a child that young ask for extensions!

I saw it from my DD was 13/14 and wouldn’t allow it. Lashes, nails, tans etc were strictly for school holidays from she was 15ish although I never allowed the nail extensions. I showed her how to apply a very light fake tan in summer (the Dove build up tan). My DD has nearly finished Uni now and is in a career that she couldn’t have nails anyway but she loves her tan and individual lashes.

My mother was like this. When I had my own daughters, I realized they weren’t thinking of nail polish in terms of “beauty” so much as they just liked to paint things. It was an activity, like painting on paper or painting a rock. It wasn’t like they thought they needed painted nails because they needed to be beautiful, or like they were limiting what they did so they wouldn’t chip their nails.

I wish my mother had realized I just wanted to be creative in a way other girls were allowed to be creative, instead of assigning all this meaning to nail polish that I wasn’t even conscious of. And I wish she hadn’t acted like girls who played with toys were somehow morally opposite to girls who painted their nails. It just caused me to judge people unfairly and have to unlearn that tendency later.

Immune response, can cause allergies to dental work being done … it’s not that well
known but if people realised they if they had a reaction then they may never be able to have fillings and other procedures done they may think twice

And yet boys are able to be creative without nail polish, beauty treatments, pamper sessions or make up. Strange.

I know plenty of little boys who like having painted nails! One of DD1’s friends always has his nails painted black!

Do you know many little boys who get nail extensions? Who ask for pamper parties? Who are obsessed with skin care regimes?

My sons liked the odd bit of nail polish when they were tiny but thats not what we are talking about. It's the pushing of adult beauty standards and products onto small children and the messages this sends them. And this is something that happens to girls, not boys.

I absolutely hate the beauty industry and how it is targeting and grooming (in every way) very young children - mostly girls, but not always.

I would absolutely judge the mother for allowing this and if there was some way of reporting the salon, I would do that - because I'm nasty.

I get the anger, because the next thing will be your own child going on at you about it. At 9 they are old enough to have it explained the harm that is being done and also how they are more than what they look like.

This is something I would not get angry over. I would think that the mother has poor judgement but it is not my child so not really my business.

I probably would make a note to avoid that salon. Most reputable salons would not consider doing gels and tips on a child of that age. I know the salon I attend will not do any treatment on a children under 16 except a file and polish on finger nails.

This stuff is really bad for adult nails let alone children.

I don't think salons should do it but there are no regulations afaik so if the parents take them and the child wants it then it's up to them really.

It's all part of the bigger picture though isn't it - young girls being obsessed about appearance, Insta perfection, Tik Tok trends etc etc. So hardly surprising.

But YABU to be so heavily invested when it has nothing to do with you.

I wouldn't have let my daughter do it, but as you're not involved, I don't understand why you're worrying.🤷‍♀️

Totally inappropriate.. ridiculous imo, then again no way would i be paying for file n polish either🤣

no nine year old needs that doing.

Where am I claiming that I “couldn’t be creative” without nail polish?

Agree to disagree how to parent I suppose.....you do you.