AIBU to ask people with similar finances ..

[AlliWantIsARoomSomewheeeere]

This might be a bit nosy, but trying to work out if I am not doing as well with my money as I should or people are either earning a lot more or just in more debt.
Firstly I am not complaining, I know there will be people in worst situations and I am lucky to not be struggling but...
My household income after tax, insurance and pension is about £43000 (that is combination of my wage and what kids dad, whom I am currently separated from, pays towards kids and house we still own jointly)
Monthly bills add up to £28500 a year (that does include £300 a month of extra curriculars and £100 of savings...but the savings always end up been spent on Christmas, birthdays and school holidays, so aren't accumulating)
That leaves £280 a week for food, petrol, clothes, uniforms, toiletries, days out etc (1 adult 2 kids)

No streaming services, no takeout coffees, very rare I buy lunch to go, have takeaways or eat out. No nails or getting hair done regularly.

The thing that has got me pondering is cars and holidays....I know a few families where mum is earning around 12-16000 part time around kids and I don't know what dads are on...but they all have 2 newish cars and multiple holidays abroad a year (nice ones, including in school holidays, not budget) now like I said we are not going without day to day, but definitely can't save thousands for those extras.

So I am just curious, those with a household take-home pay around 40-45000 are you affording those things? Do you have credit card debt?
(I have no debt, but £200,000 mortgage) Other than a much stricter food budget and less activities for the kids, I don't think I can save anything more... definitely not the 1000's for cars and holidays. Does anyone manage it on that budget, where do you cut back? or do I just assume the dad in those families have a larger budget than 30,000 takehome pay?

Unreasonable...you could afford those things if you were stricter with your budget
Not unreasonable...those doing that must have bigger incomes.

So Bills...
Mortgage £1275
Council tax (&brown bin)
Gas and electric £135
Water £60
Internet £40
TV licence £15
Life insurance £65
House insurance £48
After school babysitter £130
Savings £100
Car Tax, MOT & insurance £60
Extra curriculars £300

Yearly parking for country park (£50/60ish)
No regular beauty, no streaming, no Costa/Starbucks. Don't smoke rarely drink
Fish and chips after swimming on a Friday (£14)
Food and bedding for kids guinea pigs. 2 of clubs require uniform.
Half terms and a couple of times in summer and once Christmas and Easter will usually do a day trip average £80-100 including tickets petrol and ice creams.
Petrol is low generally, walk kids to school work from home 4days and 10 minute drive.

So majority of that £280 is going on food, toiletries and clothes...still at that age where they are next size each season 🙃

Ah OK sorry, I read that in OPs post but I didn't grasp it in yours, thanks

Your internet is expensive, so is your house insurance, you could probably nearly half both of these. When your broadband contract ends you could get that down to about £25 pm or less if you don't have fibre broadband, and you'll get a voucher for switching.

Do you need the TV licence? If you don't watch BBC, use the iPlayer or live TV, you could swap to something like the Now TV entertainment package, which is £10 a month, but once you're in, if you cancel, they'll offer you a deal so you can easily get it at half price a month or less. Apart from Netflix, you can get deals on all the other streaming services and because it's all monthly, you can just rotate around them when you've run out of things to watch.

How old are your DC? £280 pw for 'mostly food, toiletries and clothes' is a lot. For the clothes can you buy and sell on Vinted, also second hand uniforms for their clubs, there must be lots of parents who have outgrown stuff to pass on, organise yourselves and the same items can go round multiple DC.

When you go for days out, do you use 2 for 1 vouchers, annual passes or similar? Also take a picnic instead of queuing up to pay £££s for shit food?

Broadband is fibre yes, reduced from a £75 sky package to EE fibre when we separated. I was sick of over paying for crappy internet and Tele i hardly watched. I do watch BBC iPlayer occasionally, and itvX could probably live without them...as long as ex doesn't bump us off of hisNetflix and prime. 😅
My mortgage advisor sorts my house and life insurance each year, to make sure it's the best deal for the coverage...so reducing it would likely mean less coverage, but it's up the end of this month, so I can definitely have a look myself

Kids are 7&9. I admit I am terrible for buying second hand as half the time, the postage on vinted stop it being much cheaper than new from local and I hate searching for stuff, never been big on shopping. However all my son's clothes go to a friend for her son and we get stuff from her daughter for mine and sell that and anything I have brought, as a bundle to one of my mum's friends for her granddaughter (Though would likely get more of I took time to sell some of the good stuff individually.) Friends daughter and mine dont go to same school or clubs though
I have a big pile of better bits to sell, but I have ADHD...so that pile keeps growing whilst I do nothing about it
We always take a pack lunch for days out cos my son (also ADHD) is a really picky eater. But will buy ice creams and sometimes extra drinks
I am generally pretty thrifty I think unless it requires too much execution function...like selling on clothes and food prepping and do sometimes pay a bit more for convenience.

What are other people paying for food toiletries and clothes for them and 2 kids??

I have realised the bank of mum and dad is very real. I was at the pub with some school mums and some of the support included:

• 3 days a week of childcare (x2 families) saving on cost and worry re getting back on time, cooking etc
• One set of grandparents paying for Disney
• one set of grandparents paying for 2 week holiday to Portugal
• 1-2 days a week of childcare (x4 families)
• 1 set of grandparents paying car payments.

It opened my eyes up a lot!