Page 2 | Losing my mind with potty training

ElizaSchuylerHamilton243 · 2026-08-09T12:59:38+00:00

My second DC is the most stubborn child ever. Day 2 of the Oh Crap method (which worked with my first). He knows when he is about to go and can sit on the potty for two seconds before bouncing up again. At this point only a small amount of poo has made it into the potty (when I carried him over mid poo). No wee at all has made it - it's all on the floor. He will say about five times and try the potty five times before then weeing on the floor. Honestly I'm losing my mind. I feel like we make more progress without other people and distractions. We are trying not to overprompt but he just doesn't want to sit. Help!

stardrops1 · 09/08/2026 20:33

It’s only day 2, I would keep going personally.

Gengha · 09/08/2026 20:35

Put him back in nappies and wait a few months. He’s still very young.

lola243 · 09/08/2026 20:38

It’s day 2!!! Give him a minute to work it all out. Come back in two weeks if it really isn’t working at all but I guarantee he’ll have made progress. My 2.5 year old is on second try (first went well until new baby came along) and even this time is taking a while as he doesn’t like interrupting his play and also has a bit of a phobia of pooping in potty. Some kids take longer than others, don’t overthink it and definitely don’t expect miracles on day 2…

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 09/08/2026 20:40

2 days isn’t a long time at all. It takes a full week for them to be confident

Whenlifegiveslemons · 09/08/2026 20:45

He isnt ready, its a big milestone & he just isn't ready by the sounds of it. I potty trained mine closer to 3 & it was truly a breeze, nothing like many describe & no set plan i followed. I think you have to be led by the child with potty training. Have the potty sat around at home, let him be curious & use it now & again without pressure, in time he can start sitting on it after meals or in the morning & before you know it he will be using it regularly. Just remove all pressure.

Newstart3 · 09/08/2026 20:51

OneMoreCookieMonster · 09/08/2026 14:49

No such thing as being ready.
Look at the eric website. I used this to train 2 kids. Both at the same age as yours. One for it immediately, the other it took three days before anything made it into the potty.

Don't take them out of nappies and then back in. It confuses them.

You've got this.

I don't agree with this. There is such a thing as ready and if you go to early it can be a shambles. Each kid is different and if I had stuck to the oh crap method he would have been having accident after accident for a long time. Nappy back on when it was not working. Try again. One thing that worked very well for us was nappy on when out and about and nappy off when at home. He wasn't confused and it worked a treat, it just developed and was trained from 2 yr 6m.with zero accidents. Once he got the hang of it at home nappy off out aswell. He doesn't sound ready to me

ThisCraftyAquaHedgehog · 09/08/2026 20:56

Put him back in nappies and try again over the Christmas break?

Or even leave him in nappies and try again next summer?

Or carry on and let it drive you nuts, but it will be done soon.

smilesy · 09/08/2026 21:13

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 09/08/2026 19:59

You were the one saying that it would "certainly not" happen before two. I never claimed it was a trophy or a massive achievement, my son was far from irregular in his little gang - about 1/3 trained before 2 without issues. Nobody tried and failed.

Show quote history

Ok. Very unlikely to happen before 2 because of averages., immature neural pathways and lack of executive function. Google it if you don’t believe me The OP is not failing because she can’t get her DS to train just yet. He is still below average age. Whether you realised it or not, saying that your DS was trained at 22 months is not very supportive of someone who feels they are struggling. And she is not “confusing” him if she has to go
back to nappies and try again at a later date. Your son was below average age. So you were lucky. And it does sound like you are being competitive. If you are not, I apologise. But it came across that way 🤷‍♀️

Yetanotherone12 · 09/08/2026 21:26

My own personal observation is most children potty train between 2.5 and 3.

with my dc peers the ones who trained earlier had lots of accidents, parents following them around with potties, ready to catch anything.

older ones took a couple of days.

result being they were all reliably dry, able to hold on until they could use the toilet/potty- around the same age. The age they “trained” made little difference.

my particular benchmark was if they couldn’t wait a couple of minutes until they got to a toilet they weren’t ready. One memory of a kid who’s mum followed her around dance class with a potty for weeks when there was a toilet around 10m away. She’d desperately try and predict when the kid needed a wee, then she’d pee on the floor anyway.

i left mine until they could wee on demand on the toilet. You can have a chocolate if you do a wee on the toilet. Simple as that.

SooPanda · 09/08/2026 21:26

YABU because he is probably too young

Original poster

ElizaSchuylerHamilton243 · 09/08/2026 21:27

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it. In answer to some questions:

He HATES the nappies and fights like hell when we change him and has been fascinated by toilets for two months.
At the end of the day he had weed in the potty unprompted once. He understsnds his signals, he just keeps saying 'no' when prompted to sit.

I think after a conversation with my DH, we are going to try clothes (block 2) to get across the idea of why the potty is better than nappies as I think he just prefers pooing on the floor. He goves lots of warning before he actually goes by shouting and grabbing his crotch so I'm not worried about time to remove clothing. I feel like he needs to feel dirty and grim and make the choice to use the potty rather than us pressuring him?

I don't want to put him back in nappies unless I absolutely have to as being potty trained will make dealing with his food allergies easier (less nappy rash) and I'll have a new baby by Christmas. I'm also hoping that if we make some progress tomorrow, three days at nursery will make a difference as far as group behaviour although I'd really rather he was sorted before attempting nursery...

OP posts:

Hankunamatata · 09/08/2026 21:28

3 boys and only middle one was trained at 2 as he took his nappy off and said no, that was that.

My other two boys were 3 and it took chocolate stars as bribery

None of mine were bare bottoms otherwise they would wee anywhere at anytime. They had to have underpants and shorts on

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 09/08/2026 21:38

smilesy · 09/08/2026 21:13

Ok. Very unlikely to happen before 2 because of averages., immature neural pathways and lack of executive function. Google it if you don’t believe me The OP is not failing because she can’t get her DS to train just yet. He is still below average age. Whether you realised it or not, saying that your DS was trained at 22 months is not very supportive of someone who feels they are struggling. And she is not “confusing” him if she has to go
back to nappies and try again at a later date. Your son was below average age. So you were lucky. And it does sound like you are being competitive. If you are not, I apologise. But it came across that way 🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

Just to make clear, I ONLY RESPONDED TO YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE PERPETUATING INCORRECT INFORMATION.

The only point I made about "failure" was that no one I know who attempted it before two failed to have a trained toddler before two. One third of a group isn't lucky, nor is it special. I don't need to Google your information, I worked on national early years development programmes with top specialists in the country. I'm good for qualified info on the early years without Google.

Basically, if you go around telling people that it can't be done at certain age, maybe be sure that it's correct? Encouraging people to give up isn't supportive either.

smilesy · 09/08/2026 21:56

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 09/08/2026 21:38

Just to make clear, I ONLY RESPONDED TO YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE PERPETUATING INCORRECT INFORMATION.

The only point I made about "failure" was that no one I know who attempted it before two failed to have a trained toddler before two. One third of a group isn't lucky, nor is it special. I don't need to Google your information, I worked on national early years development programmes with top specialists in the country. I'm good for qualified info on the early years without Google.

Basically, if you go around telling people that it can't be done at certain age, maybe be sure that it's correct? Encouraging people to give up isn't supportive either.

Show quote history

Woah! No need to get shouty! I have corrected my original statement but the fact remains that the average is 2.5 to 3 years and your son was early, so it would not be a problem if the OP decided to try again at a later date or put her DS back in nappies if her son was not quite ready. I was not encouraging her to give up, but it would not have been a failure if she had. Turns out she doesn’t want to do this which is fine. I’m not interested in having an argument, but not all children are the same, and on average will not be trained before 2.5 to 3

menopausalmare · 09/08/2026 21:59

Bribery!

TheBirdintheCave · 09/08/2026 22:14

I’d keep going as it’s only day two. We’re on day seven with our daughter (26 months) and it’s been up and down but it’s definitely clicking with her so we’re pressing on.

modgepodge · 09/08/2026 22:23

All these people saying carry on, it can take up to 2 weeks - do you mean you stayed at home doing nothing with a kid weeing on the floor and rarely successfully using the potty for 14 days straight?!? As I say I gave up after 2 days as we’d had little success with wee in the potty, lots of screaming and refusing to sit on the toilet or potty and I just couldn’t take any more. After less than 2 days I was losing the will to live. No way could I have carried on sitting around doing nothing and cleaning the carpet hourly for 14 days.

Hoping if I leave it we might be able to do ‘sit on the potty and have a smartie’ in a few months and there might be a lot less screaming.

BananaMilkshake77 · 09/08/2026 22:34

aberturret · 09/08/2026 15:55

I’ve gone against the trend with mine but he is 2.5, and probably has a bit more understanding than yours. Instead of the 3 day method I’ve started introducing gradually to test his readiness, started with adding potty to his routine so he sits on it before bath and before breakfast. Chocolate button for a wee, if he manages a poo in the potty (not managed yet) I have a bag of cheap bits like Hot Wheels from the pound shop and he can choose a present.

At home we do nappy off as often as possible, longer stretches each time and he’s doing really well. When we are going out I talk about how he is still learning and ask him if he wants a pull up or not. In a couple of weeks we will try outings without nappy, when he’s a bit more consistent. I know everyone says it confuses them but he doesn’t seem confused, just like kids understand they still need a nappy at night times when they are day trained.

We did this also from 2.5, worked a lot better for us too!

aberturret · 09/08/2026 22:43

ElizaSchuylerHamilton243 · 09/08/2026 21:27

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it. In answer to some questions:

He HATES the nappies and fights like hell when we change him and has been fascinated by toilets for two months.
At the end of the day he had weed in the potty unprompted once. He understsnds his signals, he just keeps saying 'no' when prompted to sit.

I think after a conversation with my DH, we are going to try clothes (block 2) to get across the idea of why the potty is better than nappies as I think he just prefers pooing on the floor. He goves lots of warning before he actually goes by shouting and grabbing his crotch so I'm not worried about time to remove clothing. I feel like he needs to feel dirty and grim and make the choice to use the potty rather than us pressuring him?

I don't want to put him back in nappies unless I absolutely have to as being potty trained will make dealing with his food allergies easier (less nappy rash) and I'll have a new baby by Christmas. I'm also hoping that if we make some progress tomorrow, three days at nursery will make a difference as far as group behaviour although I'd really rather he was sorted before attempting nursery...

Mine is doing well with wees but it finally clicked today one of the reasons he’s struggling with pooing on the potty (after he did one on the floor 🤦‍♀️) he always does it standing up in his nappy, hanging on to a bit of furniture or behind a chair he can lean on. So I don’t just have to train him to do it in a potty, I have to train him to poo sitting down!

Disturbia81 · 09/08/2026 22:47

He’s very young, why the rush? Mine were 3 and it just clicked, no stress

QuaintMauveCrow · 09/08/2026 22:52

BananaMilkshake77 · 09/08/2026 22:34

We did this also from 2.5, worked a lot better for us too!

Show quote history

We are also doing this atm. At home my DD is consistently using the potty or toilet (a few mishaps here and there) and we are making progress during trips out, the slow and steady route has taken the stress out of it this time around :)

TheBirdintheCave · 09/08/2026 23:25

modgepodge · 09/08/2026 22:23

All these people saying carry on, it can take up to 2 weeks - do you mean you stayed at home doing nothing with a kid weeing on the floor and rarely successfully using the potty for 14 days straight?!? As I say I gave up after 2 days as we’d had little success with wee in the potty, lots of screaming and refusing to sit on the toilet or potty and I just couldn’t take any more. After less than 2 days I was losing the will to live. No way could I have carried on sitting around doing nothing and cleaning the carpet hourly for 14 days.

Hoping if I leave it we might be able to do ‘sit on the potty and have a smartie’ in a few months and there might be a lot less screaming.

No we only stayed in for a few days as she made progress and had set backs then finally took her out of the house for a walk on Friday. Would have gone out sooner but I caught flu on Tuesday and was really sick x_x Then on Saturday we braved a drive to the shops.

Tomorrow is back to business as usual as she’s returning to her childminder who is back from holiday. We’ll just have to see how she goes! She had a stellar evening tonight and it seems like a lightbulb has come on with her in terms of how to wee on demand 😆

Tunnocks34 · 09/08/2026 23:32

He just might not be ready. I have three sons. My oldest was almost 3 before he was out of nappies (asd but we didn’t know it then). My middle son was 2 and a half and my youngest was 21 months.