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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky babysitter?

73 replies

fairyholly · 09/08/2026 10:22

Hi mumsnet. I don’t go out very often so I’m not sure if this is normal.

I used an app to book a babysitter. I’m a single parent and it’s a rare treat to go out without the kids. Didn’t have friends or family available.

An experienced babysitter with lots of reviews put herself forward for the job. I could see she was about 30mins away but I thought no issue as she’s put herself forward and I checked with her beforehand re the location etc. her hourly rate was within budget so all good.

When I arrived back, after a quick conversation it came out that she expected me to pay for her uber home.
I did not realise she did not drive, and assumed she had transport due to accepting the job. This cost me over £30. I felt too awkward to say no and obviously I couldn’t leave her late at night without a way to get home.

Is this standard or AIBU to think it was a bit cheeky?

OP posts:
Original poster
fairyholly · 09/08/2026 12:25

NoSummers · 09/08/2026 12:05

Wow just another reason not to use a sitter for me personally, I thought it was only teenager babysitters who expected a lift home, even paying for the people would be crazy to me.

It really is a last resort for me, I don’t have family that close by, and all of my good friends who would occasionally help me if needed were all attending the same event.

OP posts:
getthroughonemoreday · 09/08/2026 12:25

I'd be annoyed. She should have made it clear that she'd be expecting you to pay her way home. How were you to know? I'd check before hiring another babysitter (and avoid her in the future, unless you're desperate).

Tryagain26 · 09/08/2026 12:34

I thought it was standard practice to make sure the babysitter got home safely either by taking them or paying for a taxi.

ktopfwcv · 09/08/2026 12:34

chedderland · 09/08/2026 12:06

I’d rather wait until my kids are older than spend all that on a babysitter or take a day off during the day. But then different for a single parent I know.

Have you spent all the time your kids aren't at school/ clubs with them?

Dersie · 09/08/2026 12:39

fairyholly · 09/08/2026 10:22

Hi mumsnet. I don’t go out very often so I’m not sure if this is normal.

I used an app to book a babysitter. I’m a single parent and it’s a rare treat to go out without the kids. Didn’t have friends or family available.

An experienced babysitter with lots of reviews put herself forward for the job. I could see she was about 30mins away but I thought no issue as she’s put herself forward and I checked with her beforehand re the location etc. her hourly rate was within budget so all good.

When I arrived back, after a quick conversation it came out that she expected me to pay for her uber home.
I did not realise she did not drive, and assumed she had transport due to accepting the job. This cost me over £30. I felt too awkward to say no and obviously I couldn’t leave her late at night without a way to get home.

Is this standard or AIBU to think it was a bit cheeky?

Absolutely not on. She was doing a service for you psid her the agreed hourly rate end of.
Do you work? Do you expect you employer to pay for your comute to and from your job?
I'd give her a review and mention this in it.

NoSummers · 09/08/2026 12:42

ktopfwcv · 09/08/2026 12:34

Have you spent all the time your kids aren't at school/ clubs with them?

Show quote history

She said it’s different for single parents she literally acknowledged that. I’m a lone parent and I agree with her and wouldn’t use a sitter.

BurnoutGP · 09/08/2026 12:48

Tryagain26 · 09/08/2026 12:34

I thought it was standard practice to make sure the babysitter got home safely either by taking them or paying for a taxi.

How do you take them if you're a single parent?? The voice of a 2 parent family privilege

rookiemere · 09/08/2026 13:13

As you used an app why don’t you message them
and see if it’s standard practice for additional charges to apply without prior notification.

Original poster
fairyholly · 09/08/2026 13:21

Tryagain26 · 09/08/2026 12:34

I thought it was standard practice to make sure the babysitter got home safely either by taking them or paying for a taxi.

For an adult, who is advertising themselves as a professional?

OP posts:
Original poster
fairyholly · 09/08/2026 13:25

I’ve checked the terms on the app and it does state that if a taxi home is required that the sitter should check with the parent before the booking to make sure that this is okay.

OP posts:
rookiemere · 09/08/2026 13:34

fairyholly · 09/08/2026 13:25

I’ve checked the terms on the app and it does state that if a taxi home is required that the sitter should check with the parent before the booking to make sure that this is okay.

Yes exactly £30 is a big additional cost for a night out. She should have stated when quoting for the job that cab fare was additional.
I don’t think you’ll get the money back, but definitely mention in your review.

Silverbirchleaf · 09/08/2026 13:46

That should have been mentioned upfront, or factored into her charges.

chedderland · 09/08/2026 13:48

Tryagain26 · 09/08/2026 12:34

I thought it was standard practice to make sure the babysitter got home safely either by taking them or paying for a taxi.

no not for a fully grown adult, I’d assume they would get back home at their own cost. They shouldn’t take the job if they’re unable to get there and back. It’s a big additional cost for an evening out.

Danikm151 · 09/08/2026 14:03

She should have advised in advance that she would expect a taxi home. Then you could have refused as it would be out of budget

Nearly50omg · 09/08/2026 14:19

Id contact her pointing out what it says on the app and ask for your money back!! She should have been upfront and honest and she wasn’t as she knew if she was you would have used someone nearer!!

KvotheTheBloodless · 09/08/2026 14:21

That's super cheeky of her, she was definitely chancing her arm. £30 is a huge extra cost to be expected to shoulder and should have been mentioned at the start.

saveforthat · 09/08/2026 14:23

It's only on mumsnet that people feel awkward so they pay up or agree to something unreasonable. If you didn't agree to this beforehand you should have just said no.

Original poster
fairyholly · 09/08/2026 15:18

Tbh I didn’t want to get into a dispute, it was late, no public transport running. I didn’t know she didn’t drive,
I was caught off guard and just wanted her out of my house so I could go to bed. I also wasn’t sure if I was in the wrong with my expectations, that’s why I’ve asked here.

If I use that service again I will definitely make sure I ask the question before agreeing.

And yes if I’d known, I would have used someone nearer. There were other people who applied, but this lady was first, and she had lots of really good reviews. I did see the distance but I assumed she must drive or not be bothered about the distance.

I naively assumed someone wouldn’t apply for the job if they weren’t happy with the what the payment would be. She sets her hourly rate, and it’s far above minimum wage.

OP posts:
ParsleySageToiletDuckAndBinBags · 09/08/2026 15:23

This is obviously why she's so experienced! Unless it's, say, grandparents coming from afar to spend time with their grandchildren rather than just supervising them, whilst their parents get a rare evening out, babysitting is very much a locally-provisioned thing.

She obviously works it that she shouldn't have to pay for an hour's travel to do the job, but in reality, nobody should have to pay for it, because somebody much more local should have done the job. It's silly: it would be like driving 25 miles to go to a convenience store two towns away, defeating the entire object of them.

She definitely knew what she was doing in not mentioning it, as she knew full well that you would have declined in favour of somebody more local and/or with their own transport. Then again, some people will only ever see things from their point of view and ignore the other person's entirely.

It's like the weirdos who arrange to buy something on FB Marketplace and then it turns out that they live far away, and so expect the seller to take much less for their item than it's worth, to compensate them for their fuel - when they could easily have found a buyer local to them, had they not sat on their phone and responded instantly!

SilverPink · 09/08/2026 18:41

fairyholly · 09/08/2026 13:25

I’ve checked the terms on the app and it does state that if a taxi home is required that the sitter should check with the parent before the booking to make sure that this is okay.

I’d absolutely be leaving a review and mentioning this. Did you actually book the uber for her? Just wondering if there’s a chance it didn’t actually cost her £30…

Livelaughlurgy · 09/08/2026 18:45

It's a lesson for next time. I'll always ask if they will be driving and depending on the time I'll ask if I can get them a pizza in for their dinner or something. Incase I get landed with a take away bill. Only if it's a 5pm start or something quite early. And to be honest it's never happened but I have had people get a take away before and it's felt a bit weird wondering am I supposed to offer to cover it so that's my get out of jail.

croisette · 09/08/2026 18:48

Local teen = pay for the uber
professional via an app = own steam

Shinyandnew1 · 09/08/2026 18:57

How did it become clear she was expecting you to pay? I would have said no. I would leave an honest review.

thisisyoursign · 09/08/2026 19:02

I think she’s really cheeky to put herself forward knowing she’s 30 min away and that she didn’t plan to pay for her own uber! I too would have thought she was covering her own way home. I’d be inclined to mention this in the review so other unsuspecting parents know.

ParsleySageToiletDuckAndBinBags · 09/08/2026 21:55

What would she have said if you told her that you just couldn't afford it? All she could do is ro point to the conditions where it says that it must be pre-arranged, knowing that she clearly didn't do that; and then answer the question as to why she petitioned for a job so far from home without even having her own transport?

Considering that she charged considerably more than NMW... and most workers on NMW have to pay for their transport to and from their work themselves as a matter of course.