Is this a red flag or a reasonable request from lodger?

[blanketsnuggler]

We rent out our Annex, and have just advertised for a new lodger. Decided on a nice lady who said the deposit/rent would not be a problem. (Good English, but not her first language).
Messaged her today to send over the agreement paperwork and bank details etc. She messaged back asking if it would be ok to send part of the deposit now, and the rest with the first rent payment in 4 weeks time.

Disclaimer - I have autism and am TERRIBLE at reading people! Sorry if this is an obvious question. Thanks

If deposit and rent isn’t an issue it should be sent and not asked for extension. Return funds and decline the contract to continue. It’s void due to deposit not being sent as outlined in contract. They will definitely try this monthly.

If you are planning for the rent to be paid in advance then I guess she could pay you both the remaining deposit and the first month's rent when she moves in.

Definitely this is not acceptable if she's planning to pay you both amounts in five weeks time when she's moved in already. Just explain that whilst she may be honest, unfortunately due to the number of scammers this won't be possible.

Hard to say, it happened to me years ago that I had to pay the deposit in parts as it was huge amount and was before pay day. Not everyone has savings they sit on! Assuming you have done income checks and references it should be ok - I have not once in my life been late with rent.. some comments here are very judgmental. What people forget is that it often takes landlords weeks if not months to release your previous deposit and in some cases this is thousands of pounds which people don’t have laying around these days.

You’ve done brilliantly OP, well done. I’d have struggled here and I’m NT

Yeah, she doesn't have cash liquidity, so may be living pay check tp pay check. Could mean problems down the road and might not. Hard to tell.

Absolutely not it will end with late rent if any
My friend was caught out big time in a similar situation. Just needs one word NO. Plenty more people.

Many of us are terrible at reading people. I also wouldn't know whether to trust this woman or not.

I haven't had a lifetime of being told I'm weird and difficult, but because I tell the truth, I tend to think everyone else does too. These days, I just can't tell whether they are or not.

Yeah, I think I'd go with this.

Put it this way - nobody decent or conscientious (read “a good tenant”) would dream of attempting to secure a flat without being prepared to pay the deposit requested and any required rent in advance. Anything less than that would be mortifying to the type of person you would want in your accommodation. Don’t rent to this woman 🚩

Ah great news! Sorry I was late to the discussion. I hope you find a great new tenant soon, OP!

Difficulty picking up on nuance.
Additionally, could potentially be more gullible (due to lack of theory of mind).

Because we autistic folks tend to take things literally, at face value, and trust that people will do as they say!

Unfortunately, many of us will have been burnt by this in the past so second guess ourselves and/or have it drilled into us to not be so trusting/gullible in future!

Op - tbh my initial thoughts would be to believe the person too, mostly because i cant bear the thought of conflict (not the actual conflict though when it happens!) but you are wise to get second opinions in financial matters that deviate from the agreement x

Are you autistic? Because that's a horrible, deficit based, clinical explanation!

This is a hard No. As an ex estate agent, never start a rental like this.

If she can't afford the deposit, rent to someone else. Tell her you're readvertising if she can't pay the deposit as stipulated.

But even if she does pay the deposit in full, what does this say about her being able to afford the rent in due course?

It’s not looking good.

Just saw the update. Good news that it’s going no further!

I hope you have asked for her references and checked them. I know people are struggling lately and may not have a huge amount of extra cash lying about - she could just be chancing her arm here rather than being a bad person. You should also ask about her income following this. I once had to prove to a landlord I was in full time employment and show payslips too. If you want a good tenant, you need to be sure she can pay the rent as she does get a lot of rights once you sign that agreement. if she's already falling at this hurdle, you just need to be careful and use this challenge to get reassurance for moving forward that she can cope with the monthly rental amount. Use chat gpt to help!

This. Kindness has nothing to do with it.

Massive red flag 🚩 You’ll forever be chasing her for the rent and then when she completely stops paying it, you’ll have a job on your hands getting her to leave. I’d find someone else if I were you.

You haven t signed any agreement so forget her....the new renters rights act would allow her to tell you when she wants to pay....she s playing you like a fish...she ll be back with another story...let her go ...fast

Even if she suddenly finds the deposit I would be very wary of letting this go ahead now.

People on the autistic spectrum (to a varying degree) find social interactions hard to navigate, and struggle to understand other people’s behaviour/ find them hard to read.

Yes I am.
And you’re rude.

As am I.
I stand by my comment.