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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit annoyed that a friend is taking her new kitten to PDSA for jabs...

41 replies

StrawberryPavlovatheCat · 27/06/2008 08:51

When her rich boyfriend has just moved in with her, has just bought an expensive fridge, and got us to collet a £100 swing from a shop with our car for her?

Please, some-one tell me they wont do it?

She is still currently on benefits, as he does not have a job yet (moved in two weeks ago) but the are not struggling for cash as he has money.

It has really annoyed me. There are something like 5000 volunteers working for PDSA who dont get paid a penny to look after sick animals for owners who cannot afford to pay for an injury/illness.

OP posts:

chchcheerios · 27/06/2008 23:55

Sorry, I don't see anything in the original message that states or implies that this friend is ill... perhaps I am mistaken... Anyway, we are ALL saying the same thing here. I don't see much difference of opinion, you are just nitpicking.

TinkerbellesMum · 28/06/2008 00:01

She has only ever said that her friend is on IB and asked if it's right she wouldn't lose if living with someone. She's never actually brought her friends health into it so I don't think it's appropriate for anyone else to be questioning it or her work ethic when we know nothing of it.

SparklyGothKat · 28/06/2008 00:03

I am on benifits and have 2 cats and 2 rabbits, i have pet insurance for them. I wouldn't use the PDSA because there are people more in need of the help. What your 'friend' is doing is disgusting TBH

SparklyGothKat · 28/06/2008 00:03

oh and I pay for their jabs, neturing and mircochipping

chchcheerios · 28/06/2008 00:06

That's why I was ASKING about the resons that the friend is on benefits... because obviously her willingness to defraud the PDSA makes me a bit skeptical about her being on benefits in the first place. Remember, it's her friend who is on here making the point that, for someone on benefits, she seems to have a lot of money to throw around. And that is my point.

Again, you're getting yourself in a flap over nothing. I guess you may be on some sort of benefits and feeling defensive or something? I'm not trying to deride people on benefits, generally. It was the OP who made the point that this woman is posing as someone in need of help, but seems to have an awful lot of money/new stuff AND a boyfriend who has just moved in and willing to provide for her.

Please just let it go.

hatrick · 28/06/2008 00:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TinkerbellesMum · 28/06/2008 00:16

She has, we're told, a rich boyfriend who has just moved in with her.

I'm not getting defensive, I just didn't see the reason it needed to be brought in. She didn't say "she's claiming to have XYZ wrong with her to get money and now she's going to the PDSA when her boyfriend could afford it". She just said her friend is on benefits and using the PDSA when her rich boyfriend is living with her and he is spending a lot of money on other things.

I also don't see why someone using the PDSA when they could probably afford not to is reason to end a friendship.

chchcheerios · 28/06/2008 00:31

Um, I guess I just see it as a character issue, and wouldn't want to be friends with a cheat? But, as they say, to each his own, Tinkerbellesmum.

TinkerbellesMum · 28/06/2008 00:34

I don't think any of us really know what our friends get up to and in the main it is none of our business, even if they are our friend. I love my friends, but I might not like some of things they do, if they're not doing it to me then it is not really any of my business.

chchcheerios · 28/06/2008 01:15

Yes, "in the main" it is none of our business what our friends get up to, agreed. But I do draw the line at fraud. And benefit fraud is "doing it to you" because you are (presumably) working and paying taxes to support those who cannot work. So, to answer the original question, is the OP being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed that her friend is defrauding a charity and quite possibly the UK government... I say no, in fact she should be bl**dy angry. She asked the question, and that's my answer.

ScummyMummy · 28/06/2008 02:41

can't see why you care. leave her and her boyfriend and the cat to have their wicked way while you get on with having your own party.

Pavlovthecat · 28/06/2008 13:32

My concern is rather than the benefit fraud/non benefit fraud - as I dont know what is correct given her being on incapacity benefit, and more than whether or not people on benefits should have a pet...I would certainly not shop her. She might not be doing anything wrong legally. Its the moral issue I have a problem with

My issue is that she does have the money to pay for vets bills, right this second, and she is choosing the cheap option, which is for those who cannot pay.

FWIW - she is unable to work now. She has a serious condition affecting her back and hips which means she is unable to work at the moment, a problem from birth made worse by pregnancy I think.

I was using MN as the sounding board to vent my frustrations as many other people do.

Greyriverside · 28/06/2008 14:38

I love chchcheerios assumption that someone on incapacity benefit must be lying to get it. What a wonderful world we live in.

As for her getting housing benefit (if she does) and informing them right away. I doubt many people in that position would rush out that minute to tell them. They are required to do so 'in a reasonable time' so feel free to all rush out and report them today and make yourselves look daft and petty.

Perhaps boyfriend will get a job quickly and they won't need the housing benefit at all. In the meantime the woman herself didn't have money. Only her boyfriend did. Perhaps the fridge and swing were his idea and she is trying not to ask him for money.

Generally speaking I'd agree the PDSA is for poor people, but all the assumptions people are making could be wrong so it's a bit meaningless.

Pavlovthecat · 28/06/2008 16:45

Grey - I agree for the most part in what you are saying, about assumptions etc.

He is going to get a job, he is looking now. It wont be long, and then they wont need any benefits, and she will claim the ones she is entitled to, I am sure. He has no issues with supporting her.

It was his idea to get a new fridge, one that she was happy with of course, and the swing, her idea, he suggested buying it. The kitten, got for her son, her idea, but got because boyfriend was moving in and could afford to pay for everything for it, food etc.

She got the kitten as her boyfriend is helping to pay for it, and she has no problems with him paying for everything else. her attitude is not stoic towards the money he is providing, she is not feeling that he is paying for things he should not. And, to be honest, good on her. She has had an awful few years and if he wants to spoil her, so be it.

But, if she has no issues with him taking financial care of the family, she should not go to the pdsa, as she is not poor right now.

staffylover · 29/06/2008 18:48

LEM, its good that you get free treatment but why not wave that privilege instead of going on about people on benefits shouldnt have pets. Lots of people get things when they really cannot afford them. Take children....people have them then expect everything for free. And your answer to another MN, about sticking fork up bum.........well that says it all.

Aduckorsomething · 29/06/2008 23:26

On benefits! And she owns a cat!!!!!!! Frankly the workhouse is too good for her. People like her should count themselves lucky if they see a vet instead of a doctor for themselves.

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