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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be concerned about this person working with people with mental health issues?

31 replies

BewareTheGurus · 07/08/2026 04:48

So, I'm being brave here and am going to ask you all your opinion of something that's cropped up recently. I'm here on MH a fair amount and do offer advice etc when I can. I've changed my name for this post.

I'm not asking advice for what to do about this, but would welcome any thoughts and feedback regarding the situation. I won't take action. I will try to keep it as direct as possible, and do not wish to drip feed.

A (would be, by law) member of my family has a history of vile and unpredictable behaviour. I suffer with mental health issues (was 'high functioning' bipolar) and was subjected to his relentless vile degrading diatribe and threats a couple of years ago. The police were involved, as were safeguarding. It was a hideous time. I had a massive relapse as a result, and will never recover to the life I was able to lead beforehand. I am certainly no longer 'high functioning'.

Recently I have been unfortunate so as to suffer further rancour, and I will say that my resilience has really made me proud. I'm dealing with it and flushing ihis crap all down the pan where it belongs. However, what I find really worrying is that this man believes that he knows everything about mental health and also believes that he is a guru in this field. It appears that he has an 'accreditation' for dealing with MH in the workforce. He has even had the audacity to' diagnose' me!! I am apparently 'a narcissist' and he knows this because he is 'trained to spot them'. It's laughable, but also rather worrying that this person believes himself to be such an expert, and so well equipped,

He won't be bothering me again, and that is not the issue as I do not need to 'deal' with any more of his shit. He has burnt his bridges (and also those of a very close family member which is difficult to deal with) with not only me but all of my family, and extended family. We are many, and very close.

So, what I'm asking is, AIBU to be concerned about this person working with people with mental health issues?

ps - it's ok - I'm not a narcissist!

OP posts:
BibbityBoppityTwo · 15/08/2026 01:51

If he’s a mental health first aider he absolutely has not been trained to “spot” narcissists. But unfortunately, people are still people, and even highly trained professionals can still be toxic. If he’s as bad as you say he’ll be found out eventually.

Millytante · 15/08/2026 05:31

BewareTheGurus · 07/08/2026 07:03

I didn't know what gaslighting was until he went to stay at my daughter's house and kept talking about it. She was horrified. As for me, I still don't get all this stuff.

What did your daughter make of him, gaslighting lesson aside?
Im amazed she’d let him anywhere near her, after his effect on you.

btw Make a point of watching the superior Anton Walbrook version of ‘Gaslight’ (better than the more renowned Ingrid B one).

Glittertwins · 15/08/2026 05:37

We have mental health first aiders at work, I’d not be seeking any form of advice from at least 2 of them for similar reasons!

Missey85 · 15/08/2026 05:42

TheJuryIsOut · 07/08/2026 06:47

"accreditation" probably means a one day course on dealing with mental health in the workplace. I wouldn't worry too much op

Like the people that call themselves life coaches 😂😂😂

BewareTheGurus · 15/08/2026 10:46

Millytante · 15/08/2026 05:31

What did your daughter make of him, gaslighting lesson aside?
Im amazed she’d let him anywhere near her, after his effect on you.

btw Make a point of watching the superior Anton Walbrook version of ‘Gaslight’ (better than the more renowned Ingrid B one).

He visited her before he showed himself in his true colours (although we strongly suspected that things were definitely not right).

She thought that he was a total twat.

Thanks for the recommendation! I've put it on the list.

😋

OP posts:
LadyBrendaLast · 15/08/2026 10:53

Hi OP

Like others, I think he sounds like a MH first aider in the work place. So no professional accreditation there.

They're was a thread ages ago where a poster asked about this role and the responses were frankly terrifying, from people who couldn't see the need for experienced support FOR the MHFA to a very confident poster who did it and ran a clinic in her office 😬

Will try and link.

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