What sort of family would you not want to marry into?

[BeLimeViewer]

A criminal one

Different or no religion.

An outwardly religious one

A family that 'races to the bottom'.

Ones that do everything together. Horrific.

Loud mouthed and rude with no manners.

So that you couldn't go anywhere with them and they'd be making a spectacle of themselves every where you went. That behaviour makes me cringe inside out.

Luckily my partner's family are lovely.

Is there a back story to this or is this satire? As I am really interested and invested for the back story if you care to elaborate?

Not much of one. It’s mostly ADHD fuelled impulse and not considering the wider implications of my actions before I enthusiastically hurl myself into to obvious minefields. All done with the confidence of a golden retriever, but the defensiveness hurt feelings of a Chihuahua.

I married a very minor (not rich, so no tiara) royal when I was very young and he was an international student. He married me without telling his family. We lived in poverty, on love and resilience of youth. Then the embassy found out and told on us. His family were not happy, not least because the embassy described me as “some shop girl”. We went to live in his country where I managed to look wrong, say the wrong thing and fail to pick up up all the millions of tiny ways you use your voice and body to show respect to somebody’s status above or below you. I understand why I was a disappointment from their perspective. It wasn’t much fun for me either. I got drunk a lot to stop feeling like a constant failure who couldn’t do anything g right. Eventually I worked out love is not enough, accepted it was nobody’s fault, I was just a flower being a weed cos I was in the wrong garden. And I ran away.

Which took me to another country, a new (blessedly non royal) husband. Who happened to have a mum who was like a walking stereotype of the over involved Italian mother, her bipolar being an element in why it was all ramped up so much with Holy Water being flung around. We’re still together, with an adult DS. MIL long dead, but lives on because she made an impression on my family who still can’t quite believe how adept I am at picking exactly the family who’d be least happy to have me in it. 😬

This is my final marriage. I give up if DH croaks.

This is my family. I really thought it was genetic/unavoidable as I don't know anyone unaffected in the last 3 generations. When (now)DH spoke about marriage I explained I wasn't marriage material for all of the reasons you've listed. I also definitely wasn't motherhood material as lots of children in my family are NC with their parents and others I've been listening to the parents bitch about for years so it didn't seem to be working out for either side.

Very glad he laughed at me and said the fact that I could see it already showed how different I am to them and he was up for the challenge. We're only 10 years in to the experiment, 3 children...going well so far. touches wood.

all of this.

and one that constantly makes excuses for poor male behaviour.

One that thinks it has the right to control other people's legitimate life choices

One that loved 'drama'

One that says it expresses affection through 'pranks' but it's impossible to tell if they really like you or are just laughing at you.

An orthodox Jewish family that didn't believe I was 'Jewish enough'

I wish we'd had better families on both sides. My husband's aren't terrible, but they are quite cold, ignorant, selfish, unhelpful and stingy. Mine are unhelpful, volatile and resentful. I feel we spend our lives helping everyone else and have not really enjoyed many benefits that family should bring. Life would have been so much easier and nicer if we'd both had better sets of parents.

Same. Enmeshed, in each others pockets, popping around unannounced, holidaying together all the time. Gives me shivers

Would animal hating be ok if they had money?
To the person who said the royal family, that covers most posts, except the poor ones.
I don't know why people are picking apart ones that mention religion. Religions comes with rules, traditions and are often bigoted and exclusionary.

My in laws are cold and uninterested. But think that’s preferable to being enmeshed or criminal or worse a combination of the two!

Dh gets on far better with my parents than his own. His don’t seem to appreciate him at all whilst mine adore him. He’s frequently taken aback and touched at how my parents are to
him. They are way nicer to him
than his own. I will never understand them.

So he has just done a sport challenge. His parents barely know he’s even doing it. My parents have maps out and are tracking his progress and message him cheering him on. It’s all they can talk about.

Ultra religious . I don’t have an issue with people with a strong faith , but the ultra religious ones can be very judgemental

Racist/ sexist/

uneducated ( meaning ignorant )
Lack of ambition
Drinking / excessive smoking

I already had the terrible mother in law( now deceased ) . I married her favourite child and she never forgave me for this

I'm glad my dd has just split with her bf as his family were dysfunctional ( in my opinion ! ). Screaming matches, mum tipping bowl of cereal over 21 year olds head because he didn't do something quick enough, charging the young adults hundreds a month to live there whilst she partied all the time, some very dubious goings on in the house etc.

Family members who think it's ok to just pop by and clock all day / night at other family member s houses.

I think the difference here is your ex was lazy too. If she was nothing like her family why would their laziness matter?

A very large one. A very religious one. One with an overbearing MIL.

I married into a family full of needy lazy men. I was glad to escape them all when I divorced

The family that I did marry in too, but DH is worlds apart from his parents and siblings and thankfully is now no contact with them so life is good after almost 30 years.

It would matter less, but it would still matter - the whole family are an influence on my daughter. And if you marry into a family who are net 'takers' then you lose that support. There could be good reasons why you would want to do this, but it's still a hard thing to do.

A family that expects me to be interested in them because I’m dating their adult child. I have zero interest in “becoming part of a family”. I’m dating/marrying an individual.