Furious at ds work dismissal

[OneGreyBiscuit]

This is more has my 19 year old ds employers been unreasonable. He's just been sacked for being unreliable. For context - he accepted a new job about a month ago. He informed them of where he lives which is about a forty minute train journey away. He is a few minutes late everyday because of the trains and they said they were ok with it. He's just come off holiday (which he informed them of) and went back today. He was sent an email before today telling him to get an earlier train so he's on time. Fair enough, so he did and would've continued doing. At 9 he was called into a meeting to tell him his contracts been terminated for unreliability. He was only informed of getting an earlier train from today, so how can they dismiss him like this? If he continued to get the later train and continued being late then I'd understand but they've not even given him a chance. I'm absolutely furious. And to add insult to injury he still had to pay for his waste of time and money train fare this morning.

The obviously didn’t. He told the op they were ok with it when she asked, but there’s zero mention of it being discussed in interview or even properly discussed.

They might have been waiting to see if he worked out himself that he had to be on time for work. He will have been on probation he should have been on time shown enthusiasm.

Was he staying behind everyday to make up for his lateness? Because honestly after a few times it gets people's backs up!

He really needed to use some common sense and be getting the earlier train... If you start a job at 9 I wouldn't rock up at 9, I'd be there 8.50 so I was ready for 9... Rocking in a few minutes after then needing to sort myself out, it's not really acceptable.

Oh.. you told your son it’s ok to be late for work. And now you’re furious he got the sack.

ho hum.

Thing is in the first few months punctuation/attendance/attitude is all being assessed.

Yes they could have told him, but their point will likely be its such a basic requirement they shouldn't need to.

Im almost certain whoever said it was ok probably had their manager on their arse querying why young Jimmy was late every day and to let him go.

Harsh lesson but this will help him in future.

Stop making excuses for him.
Its his responsibility to turn up on time and nobody at work should have to tell him this.
Your son was taking the piss by being to lazy to get a train that guaranteed his arrival at work on time.
You are not helping your son hear by pretending that this is anyone's fault other than your sons and possibly your own for not teaching him a proper work ethic of turn up on time and do your job

This is a big learning curve for your son. He should have been getting the early train to begin with. I can’t believe he wasn’t getting the earlier train to begin with and thought it was acceptable to be late even by a few minutes.

Them having to email him about his lateness and advise him to get an earlier train shows he didn’t use his own initiative and had to be told to. So management did care that he was late but had hoped your son would sort himself out which he didn’t.

There was no need to mention your workplace as he isn’t working with you is he, so that’s irrelevant if your place of work is happy for people to be late everyday.

I can imagine the conversation going something like this

The DS: sorry I'm late, the train doesn't get in until 8.58 and then i had to walk over

The employer: ok, don't worry about it. (Thinking to himself- at least he knows to get an earlier train now)

The DS (thinking to himself- oh cool they don't mind me being late)

This in spades.

Of course he needed to be on time every day. Not late.
He should have worked out he needed to get the earlier train even if that meant he arrived early to work.

This is just basic common sense.

You are only being told a smidgen of the whole story. Sorry but you should be recognising that he can’t be late for work and understanding as to why he’s been let go. Not being angry with the employer for acting appropriately with someone constantly late. Life lessons and all that.

ACAS advice will very likely be there is nothing you can do. Unless he has a disability with a documented 'reasonable adjustment' of being a few minutes late every day, he has no protection under the law.
Why on earth didn't you tell him to catch the earlier train, if he couldn't work it out for himself?

When I was 17 I had a retail job and during the interview negotiated coming in half an hour later than the proposed start time and making up this time in my lunch hour (owing to non-existent public transport). I wouldn't have expected to then be fired for turning up late.

So if your DS's boss genuinely agreed to this arrangement it shouldn't suddenly be a problem. However if that's not the case and he fibbed about this, then it's unsurprising they've lost patience.

My first job after uni I had 5am starts, the buses were unreliable so I got a bus at 4am to get there for 4:30. There was a bus that arrived at 5am and I would have loved an extra 30 mins sleep, but I didn't want to be late. Why did he not just get the earlier train from the beginning 😂

I’m actually baffled by this. If there is an earlier train available, why did he even need to inform them he’s going to be late in the first place when he could have just caught an earlier train from the very beginning and got there in time every day. If it was the first train of the day with no other train running before it I could understand your frustration, however, the whole letting them know he’s going to be a few minutes late every day seems bizarre when there was an earlier train he could have caught anyway. Perhaps the company have realised this. There is no reason to catch a train that’s going to make him late if there’s an earlier train available that won’t make him late

Unfortunately it’s a lesson for your son to learn. He’s not at school anymore where they just give you a ‘late mark’, it’s a job that are paying his wages and they probably don’t see why they should pay his wages if he is knowingly late every single day when he had the option to catch an earlier train 🤷‍♀️

He should of thought about getting the earlier train before now

There is no chance they told him it was ok to be late every single day. None at all.

This is simply not true. As usual I'm amazed but not surprised at MNers inability to see outside their own experiences.

I've worked at plenty of places where, if I'd said to my boss "my train gets me in at 8.06am - is it okay if I wait inside until we open at nine, or shall I just wait at the station?"" they would have said don't be daft! Just get the next one that arrives at 9.06am and stay a few minutes late at the end of your shift!

In fact I've had one or two jobs where colleagues have had similar arrangements.

Of course that's not to rule out the DS not having been honest to OP about it, as PP have pointed out.

It seems a bit unfair if they'd told him they were OK with him being a few minutes late every day.
But there's nothing he can do, other than rerun all the conversations he's had with his employer and think where they might actually have meant something other than what he's assumed. For example, might they have thought he meant that if he was occasionally late, would it be OK? Had there been any hints that they were unhappy with the situation?
How much earlier would he have had to get a train to get to work on time? How crucial was it to the business that he was there on time? Eg office job with lots of other people, not so crucial, but opening a shop or taking over from someone else who would then be late leaving, would be more of an issue. These are all things that he needs to ponder, so that he can learn from the experience.

It's a buyers market at the moment for employers, particularly where young people are concerned. There are so many candidates out there, I guess that employers can be really choosy.

I'm really sorry for your son's situation @OneGreyBiscuit . I'm probably really old fashioned but I can't imagine starting a new job and arriving late every day. A 40 minute commute is not exactly exceptional.

Tbf if they'd said it was ok then they wouldn't have just fired him for it would they?

Maybe if he'd discussed it sensibly with his manager and asked if he could come in later and stay later they'd have said yes.

It doesn't seem that he did that

Um no I didn't actually, ive already put I asked him if he got in on time and that's when he told me they were ok as they knew he was getting the train

its not remotely an inability to see other circumstances.

It’s just very clear in this instance that the OP’s son was not told it was ok to be late every single day.

It’s blatantly obvious from the way the OP has posted there was no proper discussion, no email trail, no formal change. Just an assumption on his part that the fact it wasn’t an issue the first time meant it wasn’t going to be an issue ever.

It sound like he told them he would be late, rather than actually asking for an adjustment to his start time. He obviously cannot be late every day and they don’t want him as an employee. Part of his job is to be there on time, so he needed to figure that out or negotiate an adjusted start time. He can’t just announce that he will be late forever.

You’re his parent. You should have taught him this. At least he has learned it now. Hope he realises he was in the wrong though, so he doesn’t do the same thing again.

Who told him though? Was it someone in authority that could give permission or just someone he was working with who said it was OK? And critically was it in writing.

I got into trouble for being a few minutes late to Junior School because I had to catch a bus and the buses were an hour apart I could be nearly an hour early and the school gates were locked or 5 minutes late.

ah Seriously. New start turning up late every day has zero credit it the bank. Did he stay on in the afternoon to make up the time ? Honestly this won't be tolerated anywhere / put it down to a life lesson.

You are furious
but
it’s done
he couldn’t get his ass into work on time
mixed messages maybe from the employer
mixed messages from your son maybe ??

just because people at your place of work get away with it, means nothing

move on and use your energy for supporting him to find a new job rather than role modelling what :

externalising responsibility

looks like !

So glad you find it hilarious, some of you people are just downright nasty!!