Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I blocked my Headteacher on WhatsApp this week

332 replies

jsty · 02/08/2026 21:49

To make this post as short as it needs to be.

I am an ECT who decided not to renew my fixed term contract at the school I have been working at this year, my contract ends on the 31st August. On the last day of work I handed in my work laptop and lanyard/fob before I left the building. Fast forward to now, I received a text message from my headteacher this week. Basically I have not completed some SEND paperwork, that was due before the end of the term. The headteacher was claiming it was essential to be completed. The message was worded very politely and wished me the best of luck for the future but they basically asked me to come into work, collect my work laptop and complete it before the end of the summer holidays, preferably as soon as possible.

I do not recall being told that this needed to be completed. The last half term I found so overwhelming and felt all I was doing was working for most hours in the day.

I responded by not replying to the message and blocking the headteacher. I have felt unsupported during my time working there from SLT. I have gone 3 months working there without a single meeting/observation from my mentor.

I probably have responded in the wrong way and dread what my reference from this school could be now but I just want to enjoy my summer holidays in peace and relax.

I am going back on supply in September to decide whether I want to stay in the profession or not.

OP posts:
Walkden · 03/08/2026 08:13

"SEN paperwork is hugely important."

Then why is op being asked to complete it in her holiday when this request should have been made then chased in term time by those who have far more experience, and paid far more, than she is?

QueenCamillaMW · 03/08/2026 08:15

Motherofacertainage · 03/08/2026 06:27

Many posters seem to have missed the detail that the OP has had to hand her work laptop back in; that’s a pretty strong signal that the expectation to do any work for that school is over. No she can’t do the SEN paperwork on a different machine: GDPR nightmare! The school has fucked up, not the OP. The head teacher is on a sticky wicket 1. For not presiding over a culture where ECTs are supported and therefore do not want to leave the profession 2. For not holding the SENDCO to account for ensuring all essential SEND paper work was complete by the end of usual work period (ie the end of term) 3. For contacting the OP over WhatsApp in her holiday. So as far as the reference is concerned, I wouldn’t worry as you are not in the wrong here and, sadly, if you’re wanting to go on supply personal experience has taught me that many schools and agencies will literally take any warm body as there is such a lack of good staff.

Edited to add: don’t leave teaching until you’ve tried another school. The culture at this previous one sounds toxic and we need good people to stay in the profession xx

Edited

I entirely agree.

The HT has made the error and is trying to make it the OP's problem to deal with.

An existing member of staff should do the paperwork if the HT is unable to.

JMSA · 03/08/2026 08:15

You are being unreasonable and unprofessional.

Are you sure this is the career for you?

Allswellthatendswelll · 03/08/2026 08:17

SunnyRedSnail · 03/08/2026 08:11

SEN paperwork is hugely important.

Not filling in the required paperwork will mean those poor kids don't get evidence required to support them.

If you are even questioning not doing this then teaching isn't for you.

Yes so why hasn't the SENCO, whose specific job it is, ensured it is completed by the end of term? Asking an ECT who is leaving and who might be away on holiday to complete it in August is really negligent from the SLT.

LadyWhistledownsSocietyPapers · 03/08/2026 08:18

I do not recall being told that this needed to be completed. The last half term I found so overwhelming and felt all I was doing was working for most hours in the day.

So, you don't recall being told that needed to be completed, but you may have been and forgotten because you were overwhelmed? Is this not something in your role you'd have expected to complete?

It's so difficult as a parent to get things put in place for your SEN child, and having staff who don't recall things that are important/don't want to do them is not acceptable. Your heart clearly isn't in this line of work.

I'm not sure how it would go re. a reference, because if they've told you to do it before the end of term and you're still contracted then I am assuming they can mention something about not fulfilling your duties? I might be wrong though, I've only ever given a personal reference.

Walkden · 03/08/2026 08:19

"She's not on leave."

Yes she is. No teacher can be compelled to work over the holidays and certainly cannot be compelled to go back into school to do so.

Many teachers choose to do work in the holidays to make their lives a bit easier when they go back in sept but this does not apply to OP who is going on supply.

Some teachers do revision classes in school over Easter and summer half term but will usually be paid extra for this. You cannot be directed/ compelled to do so.

Minnie798 · 03/08/2026 08:22

I'm not a teacher but generally speaking, you need to consider yourself and future career.
Is it possible that completing the paperwork was on your 'to do' list before you left. You have said yourself you found the term overwhelming. We can all forget things when very stressed.
The person doing your reference could say that you left without completing agreed tasks and this wouldn't be inaccurate if they could evidence it.
A potential employer isn't likely to call you if you are given a negative reference, to get your side of the story. Even if they did, telling them about a complete lack of support could be viewed as speaking negatively about your previous employer. Which is unwise.
Obviously it is your decision, but I'd be safeguarding my future career and completing the paperwork . I'm sorry you had such a bad experience in this job but hopefully your next one will be much more supportive.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 03/08/2026 08:23

For something as important as this, which definitely been done during term time,I would get laptop back and finish the paperwork. It’s not fair on the children affected by your failure to complete important paperwork.

Middleaged73 · 03/08/2026 08:24

I would arrange to go back into school when the school is open next. Spend some time in school getting the paperwork completed then you can leave without having to hang onto school laptop. The head will give you a reference for any future work (even if you don’t stay in teaching - so try not to annoy them too much) Apologise and say that you opted out of the WhatsApp chat as you had left and didn’t want to be included anymore.

Walkden · 03/08/2026 08:24

"I'm not a teacher but generally speaking, you need to consider yourself and future career"

OP is going on supply. Unless the reference says she is a danger to children she will have zero problems getting signed up by agencies or work from schools.

Op is bring made a scapegoat for the incompetency of those who managed her...

ruethewhirl · 03/08/2026 08:25

ScoobyG · 02/08/2026 21:59

'On the last day of work'- his hasn't happened yet. The last day of work is 31st August, when your contract ends. If you are going to shirk your responsibilities, for the most vulnerable, you are definitely not suited and should not begin supply in September. Find a new career.

This. Seriously OP, this is nuts.

Minnie798 · 03/08/2026 08:26

Walkden · 03/08/2026 08:24

"I'm not a teacher but generally speaking, you need to consider yourself and future career"

OP is going on supply. Unless the reference says she is a danger to children she will have zero problems getting signed up by agencies or work from schools.

Op is bring made a scapegoat for the incompetency of those who managed her...

Right now she is , but who knows how she will feel in the future, when she's had some time to recover from the bad experience.

Happytaytos · 03/08/2026 08:29

People moaning about the use of WhatsApp, if the OP had been emailed to her school email and not seen it, what then? It's highly likely she never would have checked. Some places get rid of email access from the start of the holidays too.

BeWarmKoala · 03/08/2026 08:31

FunPartyIdeas · 02/08/2026 23:23

There is too much martyrdom in teaching, probably due to ever increasing and unreasonable expectations.
About a year before I left the profession (22 years in primary), I decided actually - I'm going to take at the very least half an hour over lunch! No - not going to supervise children in the classroom for the majority, not going to be on First Aid duty, not going to throw a sandwich down in two minutes flat, not going to bleed through my clothes as a perimenopausal woman as I haven't been able to go the the toilet.
I signed out when the lunch bell went, went for a walk, got a sandwich from a bar across the road, and returned 10 minutes before the kids were back in.
All perfectly acceptable in every profession it would seem except teaching.
Teachers - stop doing it!

Exactly the line I took in my last year ( 19 years secondary). The look of shock when a year 11 boy knocked on lunchroom door wanting a word and I told him certainly but in half an hour when I had finished my break

tomatoplants · 03/08/2026 08:38

Your contract is until end of August so you’re not done yet. From what I understand you’re also still being paid?

BeSparklyMoose · 03/08/2026 08:39

I think you’re letting your anger at that school cloud your judgement here. It may be the summer and it may not be your directed time so they can’t force you to do it but on balance I think it would be the wise thing to do.

Doing that paperwork isn’t about them it’s about the pupil. You might have issues with SLT but do you really not want to do something to help support a child?

Even if we take the child out of the equation, if you have any plans on staying in teaching you will need that reference and you have likely burned a bridge there in a way that will be very hard to explain to a future employer. Even if you don’t stay in teaching other jobs might want them as a reference and they might just decide not to give you one after that. It’s totally up to you how you handle it but I would suggest being the bigger person on this one. It’s a few hours of your summer that could make a big difference going forward.

EverytimeItPours · 03/08/2026 08:43

MonteStory · 03/08/2026 07:57

Not unprofessional at all - OP could be on a 6 week ‘digital detox’ cruise for all we know.

It is illegal to not give references or give poor ones.

It is very very unlikely a child will suffer and if they did it is nothing to do with the OP and everything to do with the senco

Of course it’s not illegal to give poor references. And in the of text of employment law, something would be “unlawful” not “illegal”

katepilar · 03/08/2026 08:44

I probably have responded in the wrong way.

Probably??

Motherofacertainage · 03/08/2026 08:45

We still don’t know what the paperwork is! Or whether the OP primary or secondary (which makes a huge difference in terms of how significant her imput is if it’s a report about one specific pupil). If it’s a hugely significant piece of documentation and the OP has not had guidance from their ECT mentor to complete it then it is completely reasonable to tell the HT that she is only prepared to do it with that persons support and after the holiday. I would respond to HT’s WhatsApp with a brief unemotional message stating your professional boundaries and pointing out that you didn’t have appropriate support from your mentor or induction tutor. It’s really unusual for a HT to request this sort of thing and over WhatsApp so I am guessing primary and an enormous oversight that they’re trying to correct.

Lordofmyflies · 03/08/2026 08:47

Wow. Even taking the contract, rights, should haves and could have out of the equation, do you not feel a moral responsibility to your pupil? Imagine if your doctor decided not to bother sending that urgent referral to a specialist that they said they would do for you, took a 6 week holiday and then quit. You would be livid..quite rightly and take appropriate steps of complaint. Just do it OP.

Ethelspagetti · 03/08/2026 08:52

Lougle · 02/08/2026 21:57

What is the child with SEND going to do? Your contract doesn't expire until August so you need to do the paperwork. She probably won't know she's blocked, so you could easily go and get the laptop and do the paperwork, or just pop into the school to get it done.

I agree.

Sunnibee · 03/08/2026 08:53

Walkden · 03/08/2026 08:19

"She's not on leave."

Yes she is. No teacher can be compelled to work over the holidays and certainly cannot be compelled to go back into school to do so.

Many teachers choose to do work in the holidays to make their lives a bit easier when they go back in sept but this does not apply to OP who is going on supply.

Some teachers do revision classes in school over Easter and summer half term but will usually be paid extra for this. You cannot be directed/ compelled to do so.

Edited

Again. You can be expected in your contract to do "reasonable additional work" in the school holidays. It's not the same as being on leave in a different sort of job.

under the standard maintained-school conditions (the School Teachers’ Pay and Conditions Document) teachers are under a professional duty to work such additional hours “as may be needed to enable the effective discharge of the teacher’s professional duties.” This is often referred to as reasonable additional work

Walkden · 03/08/2026 08:55

"Again. You can be expected in your contract to do "reasonable additional work" in the school holidays."

Again. You are wrong.

Sunnibee · 03/08/2026 08:56

Walkden · 03/08/2026 08:55

"Again. You can be expected in your contract to do "reasonable additional work" in the school holidays."

Again. You are wrong.

under the standard maintained-school conditions (the School Teachers’ Pay and Conditions Document) in school holidays teachers are still under a professional duty to work such additional hours “as may be needed to enable the effective discharge of the teacher’s professional duties.” This is often referred to as reasonable additional work.

Are you disputing the contract says this?

That means some work during school holidays can be expected, provided it falls within that professional obligation. Examples might include:

  • lesson planning,
  • marking,
  • preparing resources,
  • or, in some circumstances, completing statutory paperwork such as SEN documentation.
Whether a particular task is “reasonable” depends on factors such as:
  • how much work is involved,
  • whether it is an isolated occurrence or a regular expectation,
  • whether it arises from the normal responsibilities of the role,
  • and whether the workload is proportionate.
So if, for example, a teacher needs to complete a piece of overdue SEN paperwork during a holiday because it wasn’t finished before the end of term, that could well be regarded as reasonable additional work. It would be different if the school routinely expected teachers to spend substantial parts of every holiday completing administrative tasks or assigned new work that could reasonably have been planned within working time.
Motherofacertainage · 03/08/2026 08:56

Lordofmyflies · 03/08/2026 08:47

Wow. Even taking the contract, rights, should haves and could have out of the equation, do you not feel a moral responsibility to your pupil? Imagine if your doctor decided not to bother sending that urgent referral to a specialist that they said they would do for you, took a 6 week holiday and then quit. You would be livid..quite rightly and take appropriate steps of complaint. Just do it OP.

If the doctor was still training and there was a more experienced doctor meant to provide regular guidance about things like how to complete referrals and make fine judgements then I wouldn’t expect them to do it without that oversight, no. I’d hold the practice manager to account. And I wouldn’t expect that doctor to do that work in their holiday.

Swipe left for the next trending thread