AIBU to feel ignored when friends reply in groups but not privately

[Ic36]

I know how this sounds. I’m in a few group chats. I mute them because it’s my friends speaking about diets (I don’t cook), children (I can’t have them), or fomo over the neighbours cars/ houses/ gardens (I’m happy with what I have). One of them will start a chat, usually in above threads, and I catch up on 24+ messages. I chime in and suddenly no response. Or I start a chat, about anything, and no response.

I messaged a friend the other day (private message), and didn’t hear back. No concern, summer holidays, people are busy. There was a message in one of our group chats. They hadn’t read the message. Realised this was the same as the message I had sent privately. I’m used to not receiving responses, but no answer to the group made me wonder, are they ok? This was more unusual. They responded to the group chat a couple days later, but still not read the message I sent privately. Just frustrating. Why do my friends think it’s ok to ignore me? Makes me feel quite low and stops me confiding in them about anything serious, as for whatever reason, I’m obviously not worth listening to.

thanks for letting me get this off my chest!

Do you have much in common with these friends? Is it possible they are not interested in the topics you post about, in the same way that you’re not interested in chats about diets/children/fomo?

If others have messaged on the group, that may have pushed it up her list of messages. If she has kids she might be swamped with the school/brownies/gymnastics messages and failing to stay on top.

Doesn’t sound like it does it! It’s such an old friend group, we live in different areas so keep up with each other through messages. That’s maybe part of the frustration in them finding each others news interesting but not mine, no reason to it.

This is true, life is busy for everyone, was just noticing it’s becoming a pattern with messages I send. Just a frustration I have, I know everyone’s going through different things.

This happens to me all the time - I’m always missing messages.

Perhaps if you haven't replied to or acknowledged their messages for a while it seems a bit odd/uneven if you start another random thread off about what you are interested in. It's not really how social interaction works.

But you’ve said you have the chat muted and you don’t seem to be interested in what your friends have to say, so it seems a bit odd to then expect people to be interested in your replies.