Would you say something or just leave it?

[MapIeMum]

I've been reading on here for ages but never actually posted before so go easy on me.

Just wondering what other people would do really because I'm not sure if I'm making something out of nothing. There's another mum I see quite a bit at our local park, not friends as such just one of those people you end up chatting to because your children end up playing together.

The thing is nearly every time they leave there's rubbish where they've been sitting. Crisps packets, juice cartons, fruit pouches, sometimes wipes. Not loads but enough that you notice it. I know parks get messy anyway and I'm not saying she's the only person doing it but I've seen her stand up and walk off while it's still there a few times now.

The first couple of times I thought maybe she'd forgotten or was distracted because children do that don't they, mine certainly do. Yesterday though she packed everything else up, got the scooter, got the bag, called the kids over and just walked away again. I ended up picking it up because it looked awful and there was a bin literally by the gate.

I'm probably sounding really petty writing it down. I know people have bigger things to worry about. It just annoys me because everyone says parks are filthy but then people leave them like that. At the same time I don't really want an awkward conversation with someone I see most weeks.

Would you say something nicely next time if you saw it happen again or just keep quiet and leave it? AIBU?

It’s unpleasant and selfish but you saying anything is unlikely to make a blind bit of difference to something like that and will only make you feel awkward at the park

I probably would say something. Because someone who is happy to leave their shit out for others to clear up isn't a nice person and so I wouldn't care what they thought of me.

I wouldn't be all confrontational but I would say something like "aren't you going to take your rubbish with you? there's a bin on your way out over there"

Yes but it would be a complete waste of w
breath and might make things awkward for you

Can you be subtle about it? When she's packing away: "Hey Jane, I've got a spare carrier bag here if you need one to put all your rubbish in".

"Oh are these yours too?"

I'd say something like this
Same as I'd offer a poo bag to someone who didn't pick up after their dog while I'm in the park

Horribke , Could say something about attracting rats?

Id totally say next time. "You forgot to lift your rubbish. There's a bin over there"

Oh I'd absolutely hate that OP.

Aa soon as she calls her kids over you could say something like.....hey do you want to help me put this rubbish away before we go....handing her one handle of the plastic bag (that you've brought with you) as you hold the other? Honestly not sure if this would work....but in my head it feels like it could???

I don't know OP....its a really tricky one but I'd be very annoyed about her behaviour!

I think Id probably wander over to chat, with a carrier bag handily in my pocket. Whilst chatting Id casually pick up the litter, pop it into the bag and say something like "Ah, thats better" and then put it in the bin on saying goodbye etc.

Point made without actually saying it out loud.

I'd say "You've forgotten something."

People like that don’t care. They think it’s for someone else to deal with.

But it wouldn't make me feel awkward. I appreciate it might make some feel awkward but actually beyond basic politeness I wouldn't have any time for someone like this so I wouldn't care if they started ignoring me

So given saying something is highly likely to achieve the square root of nothing with someone this thoughtless and uncivilised… why waste your breath?

What I’ve found that works is “Would it like me to clear that up for you?” With a rubbish bag in hand. Every time. Only once has someone said “yes please”.

And the other times?

I used to work in a school, I was walking past a group of kids who were getting up off the grass at the end of the lunch break. A teacher asked them to pick up their rubbish, one of them pipes up its ok the janitor clears it up ! The teacher swiftly explained that this was not how things worked, but it makes you realise how some people think !

Urgh i couldn’t be friendly with someone who did that, she’s disgusting.
I’d probably say “oh I think you’ve forgotten to pick up your rubbish “ next time. I wouldn’t really care if she was offended