AIBU to consider getting married on my birthday?

[Bishbashbush]

Just looking for opinions on whether or not it would be strange to get married on my birthday.

Bit of background. DP and I recently got engaged, after eight lovely years together. Delay was caused by my divorce. We’ve both been married before (to other people) and had the “typical” wedding for our respective cultures. Our families are split between three countries.

We want to elope and get married middle of next year. Just us and my two DC (16 &12) The date that works best is my birthday. I’m happy with it and so is DP but something is throwing me off. It would be so lovely to wake up on my birthday and get married. I know if we ever split then my birthday will forever be tainted. Obviously neither of us are thinking of this outcome but life is life.

Did you get married on your birthday? Would you?

Why not? Very few adults bother much about birthdays anyway, as unless they fall around Christmas etc, we're normally working, so if you divorced (and really sorry you're worrying about this now) would it really bother you?
Obviously your life, your choice and your right to have different views though, but you're asking for opinions.

I got married on my birthday

it does mean that the day is all about me when it rolls round 😀

Don’t do it

I wouldn't. My sister did this and now she's divorced and told me she has never enjoyed her birthday since as it reminds her it would also be her wedding anniversary.

I know someone who married on their birthday and are getting divorced , she said she regrets it now as it’s ruined her birthday

This is my thinking too.

I quite like using my birthday as a hook to nudge me into getting people together for a night out or a lunch or something. But also, separately, at another time of year, going for a meal with dh, or, for bigger anniversaries having a bit of a celebration with family. I'd feel a bit cheated if they were all on the one day.

Hope it doesn't op..but if it turns to shit.

It’s your day so do what you want. I wouldn’t do it as I’d like to celebrate my birthday separately. My birthday is already on a national day and it is annoying as I can’t book restaurants etc without a huge extra expense, which I now find bl irritating.
Congratulations and best wishes. 🌸

We got married the day before my birthday. It's great because we can go away for a few days and celebrate both.

I did although didn't plan to. Just did it on the day with best weather forecast. We got married in the States with no one else there . Not likely to divorce 😆

I did.
We'd been together for nearly a decade before we married and the date was available (it was a "0"-ending birthday, too).

No regrets, but then I'd never really celebrated my birthday other than taking the day off work where poss before.

It does mean that there's a teeny bit more pressure on DH to remember the date. 😁

He did forget my birthday one year🤦🏻‍♀️ (before we married, about 5yrs in) but remembered by the following weekend and was properly sorry.
He hasn't been a repeat offender!!

My mum did and regretted it because the anniversary and birthday celebrations always got combined so she felt she was missing out. But she was very young when she married, so maybe the need to feel “celebrated” were more important to her.

It probably depends on how you view your birthday now - do you like celebrating it, or do you not make a big deal about it?

Yes I got married on my birthday which was ideal as I’m terrible with remembering dates so I never forget my anniversary. My husband’s birthday is 2 days later so it’s a nice way to celebrate all three together. 25 years in August

I got married on my birthday and don't regret it at all, 12 years on. It was the best birthday party ever! However: we basically don't celebrate our anniversary (we say 'oh and happy anniversary!' at some point during the day, that's it) but I'm not sure we'd have made a big fuss of it even if it weren't my birthday. If you'd like big anniversary celebrations then I can see the downside. Also (getting outing now!) DH's birthday is Valentine's Day so we similarly ignore that for his birthday, so there's a pleasing symmetry to that/ an established precedent for us!

The date that works best is my birthday. I’m happy with it and so is DP but something is throwing me off.

The thing that's throwing you off is your gut telling you you're not happy with it. Choose another day.

No! We really regret the fact we got married on my birthday! Instead of having two different events to celebrate we feel we miss out on one. My birthday tends to take priority and our anniversary gets lost. It felt like such a good idea at the time, but yeah we both regret choosing that date.

Every year on my birthday I am reminded of my failed first marriage. Ditto my daughter-in-law. Fine if it lasts, but neither of us realised it wouldn't.

Dh has just said “it’s like having your birthday on Christmas Day” that’s a good description!

Haha, so true🤣 DH is so crap at even remembering my birthday. He's known me 22 years, been married almost 20 yet still forgets!