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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS one of six in his class not included in Infant (Y2) Music Festival

31 replies

marthamuffin · 26/06/2008 19:20

Bear with me here, I'm not a neurotic parent. Honestly.

They have been rehearsing this for weeks, seriously for about 2 months. The parents were invited to the dress rehearsal yesterday. I went along and ds was there, up on stage, singing his heart out and having a whale of a time. So today was the big day with children from other schools invited and the mayor there as well. I asked ds how it went and he said "Oh, I had to stay behind in class and do colouring". When I ferreted more info out of him in a casual way, it turns out that 6 in his class out of 30 had to stay behind. I asked why and he claims his teacher told him 5 weeks ago that his singing wasn't good enough. He is more bothered by the fact that the majority who participated got biscuits and cola afterwards and he wasn't allowed any. To be honest I am a bit This is an uber competitive school who are very protective of their position in the league tables. They have just won an award for their arts curriculum but at the expense of the minority? I am a Montessori teacher so I do know a bit about how schools work and I am horrified. AIBU? I feel really hacked off that he has been made to practice and practice but was not allowed to join in - if his singing is so dreadful couldn't they have found something else for him to do, like bashing a triangle, instead?

OP posts:
cornsilk · 26/06/2008 19:21

What a cow! Tell her!

lucyellensmum · 26/06/2008 19:23

My God!!! I would be spitting teeth!!! Speak to the head and demand an explanation and apology - His singing wasn't good enough???? At seven???? . What? Did they have Simon Cowell doing the auditions - wankers.

lucyellensmum · 26/06/2008 19:24

Im also a bit about a school doling out cola as a treat!!

spudmasher · 26/06/2008 19:25

Utterly unacceptable! I am genuinely shocked that this can occur!What about equal opportunities? What about inclusion? Could be illegal.......

melpomene · 26/06/2008 19:25

YANBU. That sounds horrible - and potentially very upsetting. Even if your ds wasn't particularly upset, some of the other children could have been. They should have found a way for all the children to participate.

Twelvelegs · 26/06/2008 19:26

Nice . What is the school Moto/Ethos? perhaps you could throw it at the teacher mounted on a large placard.

Twelvelegs · 26/06/2008 19:27

At seven............Oh my God.

Hulababy · 26/06/2008 19:27

That sounds dreadful. I would be asking lots of questions tomorrow morning.

Original poster
marthamuffin · 26/06/2008 19:28

As a hot-tempered Leo who has just had my own school's concert today (and they were all on stage, even the ones who "can't sing"), I feel like thumping someone! Obviously I won't but just want to know whether or not I am over-reacting before I plaster self in make-up, blow-dry hair and hammer a sweet smile to my face before speaking to his teacher in the moring!

OP posts:
QueenMeabhOfConnaught · 26/06/2008 19:29

That's disgraceful - they should be allowed to join in.

Twelvelegs · 26/06/2008 19:31

Read all the PR stuff about the school before you go and talk about how disapppointing it is not to be included and the message it sends to the children both on the stage and those left off. I am quite disgusted. Imagine where that school hides SN children.
When I looked around schools I was really out off by schools with immaculate work only on the walls.

Original poster
marthamuffin · 26/06/2008 19:33

Well, they whacked quite a few children on IEPs earlier this year (ds was one) just before SATs He has now been taken off but the six left behind today seem to be mostly of that group. Can't sing my arse.

OP posts:
kerryk · 26/06/2008 19:33

thats terrible, i was asked not to sing during the school plays (i had to mime instead) but at least they still let me on the bloody stage!!!!

Blu · 26/06/2008 19:35

This is a travesty. I gather it wasn't the choir, not a competitive event, but a festival. So all children should be able to enjoy the experience of singing in a group. If some were left out because their behaviour on the bus couldn't be trusted to keep them safe, then that's different, but this is just the school showing off and being deeply snotty. If an event is about excellence then that needs to be clear from the start, with auditioning and training etc.

A VERY bad start in developing children's enjoyment of music and of participation.

I have nothing against choirs for the talented, and pushiung them to a higher level - but if only 6 were excluded, rather than the best picked and then rehearsed separately, then this doesn't sound like that sort of venture.

kazbeth · 26/06/2008 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blu · 26/06/2008 19:36

This is a travesty. I gather it wasn't the choir, not a competitive event, but a festival. So all children should be able to enjoy the experience of singing in a group. If some were left out because their behaviour on the bus couldn't be trusted to keep them safe, then that's different, but this is just the school showing off and being deeply snotty. If an event is about excellence then that needs to be clear from the start, with auditioning and training etc.

A VERY bad start in developing children's enjoyment of music and of participation.

I have nothing against choirs for the talented, and pushiung them to a higher level - but if only 6 were excluded, rather than the best picked and then rehearsed separately, then this doesn't sound like that sort of venture.

PrimulaVeris · 26/06/2008 19:38

That is really out of order. Ffs. I'd be asking about school policies/views on inclusivity, mission, motivation and so on.

I'd speak to the teacher first, and poss take it further. If that's exclusion from an infant event, what on earth do they do later on in the school?

Blu · 26/06/2008 19:39

If the award they have for their arts curriculum is Artsmark then I can tell you that partcipation across the range of arts for ALL children is a cornerstone of expected good practice - as is a progression route and enrichment for the talented and advanced. Shouldn't need to exclude children in the service of Artsmark - the contrary, in fact.

I used to be an Artsmark asessor.

smartiejake · 26/06/2008 19:39

I am absolutely horrified at this. I would be very surprised if only 6 children out of 30 were unable to sing in tune (and I speak as a very experienced music teacher.)

I also think it's awful that you had to find out about this from your son after the event.

I could understand having an auditioned choir for older children which might be extra curricular but never for this sort of event.

You say they are very competetive. Was this a competition then? The local infant and junior music festivals round here are just a jamboree with lots of kids coming together to enjoy singing and playing. They are wonderful events where every croaky voice and squeaky violin are welcomed. Those that might not sing in tune are generally in the minority and really don't notice when there are loads singing together.

I would be very about the ethos of a school that would do this to a 7 year old.

Twelvelegs · 26/06/2008 19:40

Is this a state school????

Original poster
marthamuffin · 26/06/2008 19:49

Blu - I totally agree with what you said about choirs for the talented, and yes, it may well have been Artsmark actually - it was a silver award. Have recycled the bloomin' letter though!

This was a festival and not a competition... at a state school. He has 4 years to go and I am starting to worry as I came up against them over the IEP, which was for the most spurious of reasons. I am ready to make an almighty fuss and pull him out if necessary as this is unacceptable.

Thanks for your thoughts as it is helping me to develop a coherent argument!

OP posts:
Doodle2U · 26/06/2008 19:57

Out of order.

  1. Participation in these kinds of events is an experience every child should be given the opportunity to partake in.

  2. Exclusion of these 6 children dents confidence and also singles them as out as being 'lesser' beings than the rest of the class - self esteem kicking.

  3. It's just plain mean.

  4. To exclude them from the treat at the end is also, just plain mean spirited. If these 6 children don't want to share any of their treats with the rest of the class from this day forward - WHO COULD BLAME THEM?

OTOH:- Are you absolutely sure these 6 didn't opt out voluntarily?

Before you go in all guns blazing (as I would ), just make sure you have the story straight!

onebatmother · 26/06/2008 20:04

Oh, shocking!

Lots of proper advice here, particularly re the opportunity to participate and the diminishment in front of their peers leading to a potentially catastrophic loss of self-esteem - but wanted to add my support.

And you should remind the school that this is precisely the kind of incident that is remembered for a lifetime..

babyignoramus · 27/06/2008 10:01

What load of cobblers! If they really didn't want him to sing he could have been given backstage work and made to feel important for being in charge of the curtains or similar. Give them hell! And let us know how you get on...

waffletrees · 27/06/2008 10:13

This is awful.

I could understand auditioning for older DCs but 7 year olds . I would have a word with the Head about this.