What would you do

[Missi1288]

My daughter is 15 , she goes to her dad’s every other week . She says she doesn’t was to go to her dads next week . She wants to stay over mine . I’m not sure what to do about it. Can kids make their own decisions at that age . Worried it will cause problems with my ex. She doesn’t get on with her step mum .

At 15, mine both made their own arrangements with their dad.
The EOW pattern didn't really work for them with their friendships and other commitments so they just arranged with him when they were going to see him.

Both saw him less at that age. I didn't get involved in it at all, tbh.

I would want to get to the bottom of why she doesn't get on with step mum but i would let her make her own decisions as to whether she wanted to go or not.

Your ex is likely difficult regardless of you actions. Don’t think about him, think about your daughter and support her.

I would support my DD - she is absolutely entitled to make her own decisions now and all family courts would listen to her view.
If your ex starts causing issues with you, you ignore him, you report him or you block him.

She’s old enough to make her own decisions and many vote with their feet at this age. She wants to be with you so make sure you respect her decision and maintain your relationship with her.
They will find their own relationship with their other parent in time. And a lot of that will depend on the other parents behaviour. It’s not your job to force them to do anything they don’t want to.

Going through this with mine. Same age. Ex is incandescent that she wants to make her own choices. Thinks 'children' should have no say in rhis until at least 18. Calling her entitled and spoiled. I'm supporting her whilst reminding her that it is basic courtesy to not make last minute changes to commitments.

Its not wrong to try and encourage maintaining contact ..help her see what is a genuine issue and what is just teenage gripes but absolutely she should get a say.