Unsolicited wedding opinions

[Hairy09]

Has anyone else found that once you've announced your wedding, some people seem to have a very strong and unwanted opinion about how xyz should be done?
A friend in our circle is like this, we've had comments to our face and behind our back about how we've chosen this and that. Comments about our venue "but how are they going to do this???' 'Why haven't they got that???'

Pressuring us "you need to pay for XYZ 12 months in advance" 'you need to start booking this' Are you going to pay it for us?
We've just been repeating 'we're fine thanks/we've got it sorted'. It's overbearing and intrusive, weddings are whatever you make them, you could get married in a pair of jeans with 2 people, or you can spend 4 years planning it and spend 50 grand, the choice is yours.

Some people seem to think there is a wedding 'template' where you absolutely must do abc because 'that's what people do'. We've got no interest in all the traditions and just want to do what suits us. Anyone else had this or got advice?

My first marriage was to an Irish woman and her parents had this massive guest list of people who "simply had to be at the wedding" - mostly aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins partners and children, friends of the parents, etc.
We said "that's absolutely fine, are you sure that you can afford to pay for so many people ?"
Cue awkward silence...
We got married with both sets of parents, close family and some friends in attendance - about 20 odd people...

It's not just wedding though, is it?

There are some people who, no matter what your situation, will have a fucking opinion.

They just can't help but see (and talk about) everything through their own lens.

Just stop giving them the details / talking about it if they can't behave

I had a civil partnership partly because I don't like all the traditional stuff and wasn't up for making it a big thing (I'm heterosexual and could have chosen marriage).

I just checked if relevant family members were free then booked the registry office, arranged lunch for after and ensured everyone could eat from the menu, worked out some outfits (which weren't traditional attire, mostly stuff we already had), and arranged a local florist to do some small arrangements for the lunch table. Used a wedding ring from one of my grandmothers. That was it, whole thing cost about £1k (7 of us in total including us, biggest expense was the meal). No colour scheme, no worrying about napkins, bridesmaids, speeches, dances, none of that. I had already booked the "honeymoon" and the civil partnership was kind of booked in at short notice as an afterthought. No regrets!

Just ignore them. That’s the only thing you can do, unless you’re planning to change your wedding as per their comments.

The less information you share with people, the less they can comment. Just be very bright and breezy and say 'planning is going great thanks!'

What relevance is her nationality? I’m an Irishwoman and got married with two witnesses.

We have been guiding dsd but to get them to realise they don’t need to spend money they don’t have. We are contributing £5k, her mother the same so that is plenty for a good wedding without compromise, I know because mine cost £6k 18 months ago! I went through the must haves with her and we are prioritising having everyone she wants there over the swanky venue, and got it cut to one day (over 3 days). My back of an envelope calculation is £7k plus dress/suit/ favours (not needed but she wants them)

Everyone has an opinion and they’re usually either self-serving or shit. If I had my time again I’d elope.