To have expected DH to have stuck up for himself?

[Kieylight]

DH and I were at an event yesterday along with our two DD’s, who are both in their 20’s.

Once we got home, DH told me of an interaction he had with another (male) guest which made him uncomfortable. He had been talking to this guest, who enquired ‘who the three ladies are’. DH obviously said I was his wife and that he has two daughters.

The man asked DH if he is ‘still bathing his daughters’. Rather than telling him how inappropriate this was, he said he awkwardly laughed and made his excuses to leave the conversation.

Is it bad I think a bit less of DH for not challenging this man?

I agree with you completely. He should have stood up for his daughters and called out the disgusting comment.
Men won’t stop if other men laugh instead of calling it out.

Sounds like it.

I think you’re being harsh to your dh. Yes he could and should have said something, but it’s very common to be like a rabbit in headlights when something awkward/embarrassing/inappropriate suddenly happens. I have been caught out like this loads of times and then been angry at myself later on for not speaking up at the time.

Another drive by thread...

Who cares what some dickhead says? Or would you have liked him to fight for their honour? Maybe a duel? Pistols at dawn.

Don't feed the trolls in real life? Any response might amuse the creep (unless said creep has a genuine medical condition making him say disgusting things, in which case it still wouldn't help to say anything to him), and unless your husband was going to go to the police because he genuinely believed the pervert was going to hurt someone, what could he do?

We’ve all been in those horrible situations when you should say something but nothing comes out of your mouth! Then afterwards feel annoyed that you didn’t say anything. He’s only human!

The guy is obviously a danger to women but your husband would have been shocked and I’m sure he’s also replaying the coulda, shoulda, woulda in his mind. I think give him a break, unless you’ve prior cause not to.

Guy was a weirdo. Why should dh interact with him

Sometimes someone says something so outrageous that your brain sort of short circuits and you almost cant process what you've just heard. you think of all the things you should have said later on but in the moment you are just so shocked you dont know what to say

I wouldn't hold it against him.

It doesn't take much to end up in a one punch manslaughter scenario.
Dh done the right thing.

That is a clear and obvious threat to his family so he should have bloody well knocked his block off. Give an inch take a mile.

My DH had something similar a few months back with a colleague, he was so shocked he really didn’t know what to say and said ‘sorry?’ which was enough to stop the conversation in its tracks. He also made a note with HR. As it made him feel really uncomfortable.

I wouldn’t know what to say either to be honest as I know something like that would catch me off guard. What a disgusting strange person though.

Op what exactly would you have wanted your husband to do in this situation? I assume your husband was stunned.

Would you have wanted him to start shouting at him in front of your children who hopefully were clueless about what was going on?

Would you want him to have hit him and be quite likely in a prison cell at the moment or beaten up as others around will see him as the aggressive one.

What would you have done if you were there?

Yes op what would have passed your test?

She hasn't even passed the test of coming back to her own thread which presumably is because the voting is against her!

He probably did a double take wondering if he'd really heard that. Mind you, that bloke is going to get laid flat going around saying things like that.

That’s shocking but I wouldn’t be angry at your DH. I think he was probably completely shocked that that came out a strangers mouth, how disgusting. I’ve been in situations before where in hindsight I really should have said something but in the moment you often freeze!

LEEEEAVEE IT !! EEE AINT WORF IT !!!

Cue Eastenders drums....

😂All I can hear is Kat Slater.

We’re always wiser in the aftermath. I only know a couple of people who can deliver powerful ripostes in the moment. Most of us learn them later and might use them if we’re ever faced with a similar situation in the future. But in the moment we are simply not prepared for such vile comments.

But it didn’t require a ‘powerful riposte’ — I mean, this is not the Gettysburg Address. ‘What was that?’ would have done.