AIBU to say ex can’t see DD if this is what he’s doing?

[Uw1086]

Ex lives several hours away (his choice) and never has or never has had DD overnight, even when he was closer. Again his choice. If anything I encouraged contact as I felt it was good for Dd to have a relationship with her father. Dd is 3.

He agreed to take two days off next week so that I could attend a work seminar and he said he would get a hotel overnight (this is what he does on a Saturday night on the weekends he drives up to see her).

He told me this morning he will be driving through the night, a 5 hour drive, to be at our house for 7:30am for me to get to work on time. I asked why he said wasn’t getting a hotel and he simply said he wants to work late the night before and it’s not necessary as he will drive at 3am. This means he essentially won’t have any or much sleep and then will be with Dd all day and taking her out to places as he doesn’t stay in my home when he sees her.

AIBU to feel this is really reckless and shit of him? He has a hard job (as do I) and I don’t think it’s wise to then do a long drive then expect to be safe and alert when looking after Dd. Am I over-worrying?

How old is he if he's 20s losing one night of sleep he will be fine if he's 50 with health issues probably not

I've looked after my kids with zero sleep numerous times, thats part of being a parent.

@youalright 46

@WillThingsEverBeFergaliciousAgain but with several hours driving non stop too?

don’t parents frequently look after children while sleep deprived?
people wake and travel at 3am for holidays/ events all the time. It’s not a biggie.
it’s not ideal, but it’s not the worst thing in the world.

@Stressymcstress true. I’m probably over thinking it.

Yes, its not ideal, but its not worth stopping contact over.

@WillThingsEverBeFergaliciousAgain i wouldn’t stop contact I just meant I would suggest he just saw her the following day instead

I wouldn’t be content with him taking her out in the car if he’s been up all night. If not by car I think I’d be ok with it.

he'd have to drive back after though? after a whole day at work, no sleep, drive, whole day looking after a young child, then drive back?
I don't think that's a good idea.

YABU

How do you think sleep deprived parents with a newborn manage to look after their 3 year olds?

It's his choice though.

He's a big boy. That's his decision to make. Not yours or the OPs.

I presume she doesn't want her DD to grow up without a father though

when we have DC we have to look at risk differently

It’s still not up to the OP to control.

He’s a grown man and she’s not his mother.