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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Free holiday clubs for my friends who do not work

71 replies

rhodrhi · 12/07/2026 23:13

i am a lone parent. I work full time and parent full time. I have no idea how how I am going to manage school holidays. I get a bit of UC but not enough to cover 4 weeks of holiday clubs. Two of my friends get means tested benefits, do not work but have booked their kids in for 5 full weeks of holiday activities for their kids because they get means tested benefits because they do not work. I would have thought you would have to prove you are working as there is no reason their children can't stay at home with them. I am so overwhelmed trying to scrap around for childcare yet they are getting unnecessary clubs for free. Genuinely want reasons why iabu because I am feeling particularly bitter this evening!

OP posts:
pragmatismuniversalsentimentalist · Yesterday 11:03

ToddlerHostage · 12/07/2026 23:14

That’s a very long-winded way of saying you don’t want poorer children to have nice things.

No its not. Shes pointing out that those who don't work don't need holiday childcare.
OP i completely agree, its infuriating when the school hidays are so hard, and so costly to cover, that people who dont actually need holiday child care cover get it for free anyway. Yet another kick in the teeth to working parents :-(

StormySam · Yesterday 11:13

hahabahbag · Yesterday 11:00

Many of these enrichment type holiday activities are not full days though meaning working parents can’t use them even if they can pay. I was fortunate that we had flexible work so he dropped them at 10am and I collected at 3pm, we couldn’t have used the council scheme otherwise

This is true. Near me the HAF options are usually 10am-1pm with lunch included.
I have children with SEN but we haven't used this as we don't need to rely on it.
However, I grew up very poor. My mum did work and we were just left at home all day evey day during the school holidays. Sometimes we went to the library. We would have absolutely loved HAF and it would have been a life saver to have someone checking up on us every day and feeding us

angelos02 · Yesterday 11:18

Eh? People that don't work get tax payers to pay for their children to be looked after by someone else? Why? That makes zero sense. Surely childcare is purely for people that work.

Weeellokthen · Yesterday 11:27

Walkerzoo · 12/07/2026 23:29

I hear you. It used to annoy me that my kids had limited options but highly expensive, and other kids had great holiday clubs and free.

And I wasn't eligible.

It isn't about rich or poor it is about fairness. I felt my kids were disadvantaged because I worked.

Yeah, I felt disadvantaged when my dc were young and I a sp. I worked, whilst I watched others not working and reaping better rewards than me. It really does stick in my craw.
But. As a result of my labours my dc have a healthy work ethic.

converseandjeans · Yesterday 17:42

Loubissou · Yesterday 00:11

YANBU
Even as a relatively high earner, 2 kids in full time holiday club was financially crippling. Mine are now older but I well remember the years of feeling I was grafting for nothing when I would rather have been with them.

Ultimately though, keeping going through those years, I now have a much higher salary, a good pension and will retire early into a good standard of living. Those who are relying on benefits are going to have a hard landing at some point, probably in the not too distant future.

Edited

@Loubissou I think this is the only way to keep positive. I think once the kids get older the benefits drop off & I’m glad now that I always worked. I won’t have a huge pension but it will definitely be better than some.

OP I can see why you are upset. It’s enough of a juggle as it is & it must feel incredibly unfair.

Sartre · Yesterday 17:45

I’m with you OP. I saw a SEN club which looked amazing and my DS would love it, I was willing to pay as well however it was for children on FSM only aka non working parents. Why do they need holiday clubs when they don’t work? The government is batshit.

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 17:59

Sartre · Yesterday 17:45

I’m with you OP. I saw a SEN club which looked amazing and my DS would love it, I was willing to pay as well however it was for children on FSM only aka non working parents. Why do they need holiday clubs when they don’t work? The government is batshit.

Considering it’s a SEN club the ‘non working parents’ could be carers that CANT work, or can’t work full time as FSM is earnings below 7400. The club is for the kids not the parents.

cadburyegg · Yesterday 17:59

RedandWhiteStars · Yesterday 10:54

Surely another issue here is where is dad and why is he not contributing? He should be made to one way or another.

lol good luck with that. I have 2 kids and their doesn’t pay maintenance because he only earns 5k a year. Totally legal.

Kirbert2 · Yesterday 19:10

Sartre · Yesterday 17:45

I’m with you OP. I saw a SEN club which looked amazing and my DS would love it, I was willing to pay as well however it was for children on FSM only aka non working parents. Why do they need holiday clubs when they don’t work? The government is batshit.

To benefit the child. I'm assuming it isn't 8-5 care? The aim isn't going to be childcare when it is for parents who don't or can't work.

BackOfTheMum5net · Yesterday 19:31

The HAF scheme was established by the Tory government in 2021 in response to the national outcry around the fact that many kids on free school meals don’t eat properly in the school holidays, paired with the recognition that kids from poorer families regress in the school holidays owing to a lack of opportunities.

So yes, I think you’re unreasonable to resent steps being taken to help hungry children. You’re not unreasonable to be frustrated by your own struggles, but to define yourself as “people who actually need it” is missing the point.

meandems · Yesterday 19:39

If any of those holiday clubs have an ofsted number then you can claim the costs back as childcare through you UC

hereforthelolz · Yesterday 19:41

We do shit all to incentivise people to work in this country.

Diamond7272 · Yesterday 19:44

ToddlerHostage · 12/07/2026 23:14

That’s a very long-winded way of saying you don’t want poorer children to have nice things.

Rubbish.

Why should poor children have these things and the children of a working, emphasis on working, mother have nothing????

Poor kids need to realise their parents are sometimes bums. This is a prime example of unfairness, and another reason for lazy working age people not to get out of bed.

System is awful

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 19:46

Diamond7272 · Yesterday 19:44

Rubbish.

Why should poor children have these things and the children of a working, emphasis on working, mother have nothing????

Poor kids need to realise their parents are sometimes bums. This is a prime example of unfairness, and another reason for lazy working age people not to get out of bed.

System is awful

Show quote history

Why call it rubbish and then literally state that you don’t think poor children should have nice things 😂

Shelleyblueeyes · Yesterday 19:50

rhodrhi · 12/07/2026 23:19

See the nice thing for me would be being able to have my child at home with me for the holidays. Or being able to book him in to archery, football, rock climbing, music groups etc all of which they are booking on to despite being perfectly capable of looking after them at home. I am exhausted and would benefit hugely from being able to put them in holiday clubs for free. I don't have the £50 a day for four weeks. That's £1000. I could get a loan from UC but then would be worse off every month thereafter. I just wish these things went to people who actually need it.

Show quote history

You could try speaking to your school.

They have discretion to ask your council for extra spaces (you might get lucky).

X

Shelleyblueeyes · Yesterday 19:54

Besidemyselfwithworry · 12/07/2026 23:28

No it’s not this at all it’s about OP working, doing her best and struggling for childcare while people who don’t work (ok maybe some couldn’t work owing to disabilities but a large number COULD and DONT)
this is the argument, it’s not punishing “poor children” it’s making it harder for children who’s parents work
how is that fair!

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It will always be a subject for argument.

The problem is there is no longer any differential between people that genuinely can't work and are skint and those who choose not to work and sit on their arses all day laughing at all us mugs who are paying for their free stuff.

The balance has gone wrong somewhere along the line and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight to fix it.

X

JLou08 · Yesterday 19:59

10% of the HAF vouchers go to families not on free school meals. Speak to the school and explain your situation and they may issue them to you.

JSMill · Yesterday 20:02

ToddlerHostage · 12/07/2026 23:14

That’s a very long-winded way of saying you don’t want poorer children to have nice things.

Oh do piss off. Why can’t the Op’s children have nice things?

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 20:04

JSMill · Yesterday 20:02

Oh do piss off. Why can’t the Op’s children have nice things?

Show quote history

They can, she only has to contribute 15% towards the childcare

floppybit · Yesterday 20:36

ToddlerHostage · 12/07/2026 23:14

That’s a very long-winded way of saying you don’t want poorer children to have nice things.

Oh ffs 🤦‍♀️

NemoNerd · Yesterday 21:05

Where I live the HAF programme offers free places at a range of premium holiday clubs for 2 x 6 hour sessions per week for 4 weeks in summer

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