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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Urban DofE: does such a thing exist?

109 replies

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:19

Hello
I am looking for an alternative Gold Duke of Edinburgh`s Award Expedition for my just turned 18yo daughter. She has mental health difficulties and a history of depression, to which I have found the standard Expeditions unsuitable. We live in Liverpool and I initially suggested to our Private DofE coordinator to do the Leeds and Liverpool Canal as her Expedition. And before you go on about wild country or mountains, as of 2023 the DofE says it allows Urban Expeditions (look at 20 Conditions).

It needs to have/provide the following things:

.be in an urban or semi-urban environment and not in "wilderness" or mountains
.have absolute MINIMUM team size of 4 people
.female only or request to have female only
.to ask an allocated time for me to see my daughter at night
.to ask to bring own food and not those shitty ration pack boil in the bag meals (such as bring own spaghetti and sauce)

Can anyone help or advise me on this?

OP posts:
Backpain2026 · 12/07/2026 20:02

And a very large part of a DofE expedition is navigation, using a map and compass. Obviously walking straight along a canal wouldn't meet that criteria.

It's not just about walking for 8 hours a day for four days. It's about doing something really challenging, navigating in an unfamiliar environment and working as a team.

TheBossOfMe · 12/07/2026 20:21

@paulinepolos I remember all your previous threads. I don’t know what the answer is but trying to sign your DD up for quite ambitious things she doesn’t actually want to do doesn’t solve the fundamental problem you have of an unmotivated teenager who drinks too much and seems to have a bazillion excuses about why she can’t a do stuff, all of which you seem to accept with no question. How is her life being funded beyond you providing food and board?

Portmore · 12/07/2026 20:35

I think she needs small goals that she can achieve independently.
Look for orienteering routes near you if that's what she is interested in - they are free & good fun. You could do them together & then progress to her doing them alone. There are some in urban areas too. Employers would be more interested in someone with a hobby that they have sustained, enjoyed & progressed in. I employee many teenagers & couldn't give a toss whether they have done DofE!

Pushing her to do DofE Gold is setting her up to fail & will just damage her confidence further as she won't be able to complete it & will be a horrible experience for her.

She needs to find what she enjoys - if that's couch to 5k, crochet, art or whatever let her find something she enjoys rather than something that 'looks good'

Okiedokie123 · 13/07/2026 18:40

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:43

Presumably camp in tents on side of canal, if not go to nearest town and camp in a park there.

And who is going to organise and supervise that? Who is going to stop her having any of them having a drunken dip in the canal..........?
Honestly........ joining an already organised group and trip would be so much easier.

I know you said she didnt manage to complete Bronze. Has she got Silver? Cos if not there is no way she can just jump into Gold imho.

Brickiscool · 13/07/2026 19:04

Why not try doing a bronze expedition
.it's just one night. My local school walks from school to the next town over fields and sleeps in a rugby club field and then walks back again. So they aren't out in the wild of nowhere.

Brickiscool · 13/07/2026 19:06

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:43

Presumably camp in tents on side of canal, if not go to nearest town and camp in a park there.

You can't just camp in a random park or by a canal. You have to camp in a proper designated area

Brickiscool · 13/07/2026 19:09

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:32

Apparently over 16s cant do bronze as its for 14 and 15yo due to safeguarding issues- dont tell me cuz ive already tried this!

This isn't true. Maybe the company you found to do it with are imposing their own rules. But you have until aged 25 to finish any section

quitefranklyabsurd · 13/07/2026 19:10

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:27

We did do volunteering.
She has done 18 months or 500 hours of unpaid work. She enjoyed it but it was 2 days a week for a morning. it seems to be when she is away from me at night time or longer than 1 day it triggers her mental episodes and makes her feel like she needs to drink.

If she can’t be away from you for more than 1 day how will you manage the residential part?

quitefranklyabsurd · 13/07/2026 19:11

Also how did she manage on her silver?

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