How easy it is to be found online

[LivelySquid]

Me and a pal were out at a pub last night and she was being chatted up and getting on very well with a man. She only got as far as getting his first name and the sort of job he does though. He doesn't do Facebook etc.
As he's asked her to go to the pub again next week we tried to do some digging. It's always good to know who you're talking to. Employers do it so us ladies should do it imo. Found one of his friends on Facebook because he'd "liked" a post the pub had put. This friend keeps nothing private. We delved back a good while and found photos of chat up man with his wife and family in group photos. His friend had put chat up man's surname in another photo too.
A quick Google led us to chat up man's Linkedin, showing his current employer.
Chat up man obviously thinks he's safe and untraceable; but due to a slip up by his friend we found him in ten minutes.
At least she's found out he's taken and so won't waste her time. It's a good job she's not a bunny boiler too, who could easily turn up at his place of work to stalk him.
It just goes to show that there are still dumb people out there who do not think about privacy settings on social media.

Do you know for sure that chat up man is still with his wife? I’m incredibly easy to find online as my name appears to be unique but luckily no skeletons in my cupboard!

Things might have changed though.... and what people add onto social media sometimes isn't accurate.

Let your friend make the decision after speaking to him some more.

It’s can be surprisingly easy. Someone I knew started a relationship with a new man. Facebook showed he was still posting about his wife a couple of months previous. Friend and new man are still together.

However, there’s a couple of people I know from my past who I’m curious about and can’t find anything about them.

People get separated and divorced. Strangely enough they rarely choose to share that on social media! This is why googling people isn't the all and every answer that people think it is, and not always a 'gotcha' moment - why doesn't she just ask him IRL? IRL trumps not IRL every single time...

Photos from a good while back he could easily now be divorced.

I'm not on Facebook or similar and it sometimes crosses my mind if I could be found online? I suppose there's always a way.

PimEyes or a similar service. Utterly scarily able to find many people's online presences. Yet not everyone.

He could be now single.

Agreed that he could be divorced since the photos, but it still goes to show just how easily you can be found online without realising it

Yes - but does he know his friend has posted his photograph?

Unfair to judge him on his internet presence over speaking to him surely?

You know LinkedIn shows who’s viewed your profile?

dont you have to be logged into LinkedIn for that to show ?

Yes i do know. We only saw his Linkedin photo on the screen. Neither of us have Linkedin so we were unable to view his profile.
I believe you can set your profile so that others cannot see who you have viewed, but you can't see who has viewed yours either.

Oh god I know! I have a bored friend who stalks everyone she’s ever met as well as my friends. She is trying to find out where my ex now lives, by stalking his fb page which she gained access to by friending him. I don’t know why he accepted her friend request, as he never liked her. It’s very creepy to me, I don’t do it and I don’t access friend of friend requests to follow me either, it. Freaks me out, now that I’ve seen the prurient gossip irl. Treating people like reality TV. Uurgh.
I don’t think this is the same as checking out a potential suitor, btw, which is a sensible safety issue.

If he doesn't do Facebook, how did he like a post on Facebook?

And if you agree he may no longer be with his wife, why are you saying "At least she's found out he's taken and so won't waste her time."??

It says in my op that it was his friend who liked the pub's page on Facebook, not him.
And I've only agreed that he could now be divorced since the photos now somebody has pointed it out to me. I hadn't considered that point when I posted my op.

Very unusual to have an ex on your photos. Does he have a status? Does he look much younger in the photos?

Ahh yes I missed that it was his friend who liked the pub's post.

Still, I'm surprised you hadn't considered he may no longer be with his wife.

Not unusual, we don't all bleach our socials when relationships end, particularly if kids are involved as it looks like you are erasing your past - and we all have one.

I think many people are naive about the extent to which organizations like DWP, HMRC and employers can form a picture of their lifestyle by tracing them online.

As a retired academic Ive always been aware of this. You can find a lot about me online in terms of where I taught, positions I held, papers I wrote and other professional stuff. But i have never shared my social life online except on anonymous forums. I have never had the slightest inclination to speak about my hobbies or who I was dating on a platform where I could be identified.

I really don’t get why you think chat up man thinks he’s safe and untraceable.
He's met your friend in a pub. Told her his first name and job. All very normal. He’s arranged to meet her next week in same pub (public place) All fine.
Next week presumably they’ll chat more and have you got kids, divorce etc will come up.
It’s not unusual to not use Facebook and just have LinkedIn for work.
Be safe and trust your gut but Facebook stalking friends/his LinkedIn seems over the top when not even had a date.

The photo was posted by his friend, so he doesn't have 'his ex on his photos'.

Plus the OP said

"We delved back a good while and found photos of chat up man with his wife and family in group photos."

It depends how private you are, surely? I don't use facebook (or anything owned by facebook including Instagram and whatsapp), twitter or Linkedin, and I don't have photographs of myself online. I stay out of photos other people are taking because I know I have no control over where they end up, although obviously I may have been in the occasional one I didn't notice.

If I google my name I get a page of results for a woman with the same name who lives in a completely different part of the UK, and most of them are at least ten years old. I daresay I could be found somehow, but it wouldn't be easy and I doubt anybody who had casually met me in a public place would get far.

It's not that I'm assuming chat up man thinks he's safe and untraceable. It's just the fact that he and other people may not be aware just how traceable they are., when they haven't got socials themselves.

He has got social media though LinkedIn?
Depends on circles but lots of people I know have LinkedIn not facebook. My husband doesn’t avoid Facebook to be untraceable just has no interest in types of content on there (and has me to relay info from the local Facebook gossip group etc)
You seem to think it’s odd he’s not got current Facebook, he could be thinking it’s odd your friend hasn’t got a LinkedIn account. Horses for courses.