AIBU to ask what is a reasonable wedding gift for your child?

[Reallyneedsaholiday]

What is a "reasonable" wedding gift, for your own child? Just that really. Adult child, that doesn't live with you or with their partner, currently. (Not asking for judgement on that).
How would you wotk out what's "reasonable"? Based on % of your own income? Based on your own finances? Based on theirs? Based on "fairness" between siblings? Or just a simple flat rate .... in which case "how much"? Give cash? Or a personal gift?

You don’t say anything about ages ( yours and child ) but if i could comfortably afford it I would give the amount of £5k that you can gift tax free when a marriage happens, but that’s purely based on thinking ahead re inheritance tax etc

I don’t think there’s really any guideline on this. Some parents pay a lot towards the wedding, some give very generous cash gifts to help with house deposits, some parents who haven’t got much money just buy a standard wedding gift. I would definitely bear in mind that over time I would be able to do similar for siblings.

If there’s a sibling, of course should be fair. The rest is really very individual- I’ve seen anything from parents gifting a house, car to just a small money amount.

It completely depends on your means and the circumstances. My parents paid for nearly our entire wedding (no other gift), and my in laws gave us 10K. We were very fortunate and obviously that’s not realistic for many people.

I think its ridiculous giving money for a wedding. House deposit yes.

If its my daughter we would pay for the wedding, for my son the honeymoon, but that's our culture

We gave 2k when one of ours got married it was what we could afford, they put it towards a honeymoon,
other Dc is planning a wedding we will gift the same, just give what you think is reasonable it doesn't have to do it by percentage, although i wouldn't go ott

Neither ILs or my parents got Dh and I a wedding gift of any sort. I don’t think that’s typical to buy an actual gift. You help with the wedding or contribute in some way to their new life together. In which case, what can you afford?

My family paid for our wedding (and at £20k, that was gift enough!). ILs contributed to the rehearsal dinner and I think MIL paid for our cake, if I remember correctly. Basically, they raised us and supported us in getting to the point of marriage and being there for us in the time leading up to the wedding and on the day. That was gift enough.

We’d probably give £10k or so (although my in laws gave us this amount in the late 90s!). My parents paid for the wedding and bought us a washing machine and tumble dryer.

We couldn't afford to pay for a wedding so we did offer the money to put towards it they chose to use for after, i think Dc 2 will want it before which is fine.

My mum paid for our wedding (about £500) and bought us a photo book of the pics we'd all taken on the day (no professional photographer) but they've just gifted us £20k for a house deposit which was worth more to us than a wedding gift. Go with what you can afford. Help them later down the line if you can. My parents are doing the same for my brother when he buys somewhere

My daughter I bought her wedding dress as she's tiny it was a bridesmaids dress so not mega money , my son I paid for the wedding cake as DILs dad paid for her dress, that was what was in my budget does not sound a lot but was what they wanted and what I could afford

My parents paid for my dress and the wine for the reception it was several thousand, we didn't have a gift as well

I married young so parents gave 2.5k for reception and paid my dress (many many years ago)

My mum bought my dress (it was £200) and gave us £300 cash to spend on our honeymoon. My dad didn't give us anything, don't think it occurred to me at the time, nor did I expect it. But I have a friend whose parents gifted them a house deposit for their wedding. So I think it's going to vary a LOT what the 'norm' is.

Neither set of parents gave us a gift as such. Both sets paid for elements of our wedding (we paid almost all but they wanted to contribute) so that was plenty!

It absolutely should be fair between siblings and the rest depends on so mau other factors. My and DH's parents didn't get us any gifts but they paid for parts of the wedding organization, so that was their gifts basically. They wanted to and asked us what would the good gift be and we said we wanted nothing, so that's how the thing was solved.

We shared the cost of the wedding with DIL's parents. DS has a house in Trust, bought when he was 8.

The GC's school.fees will be paid.