My daughter has persistent allergy/rash on breasts and vaginal area, nothing has worked she's Shy to see the male gynecologist who could help. How do I support her?

[Katheriinee]

My daughter is 18 year old has had a recurring rash/itching for over a month now. It started on her breasts, seemingly out of nowhere, no new soap, detergent, or fabric that we could pin it on. Within a week or two it spread to her waist and vaginal/crotch area, and it's been on and off since, sometimes calming down for a few days before flaring back up worse.

First I took her to a female dermatologist, who prescribed a topical ointment for two weeks. No real improvement, and the rash kept spreading.

Next I took her to a female gynecologist for a full exam her first ever. She was nervous but got through it. They ran blood, urine tests and Swab tests, found some mild hormonal imbalance, and started her on medication. She's stayed consistent with it for a few weeks now, but the itching and rash keep relapsing, especially in the more sensitive areas, and it's clearly wearing on her both physically and emotionally.

A close friend of mine had an almost identical issue and told me a male gynecologist she saw finally sorted it out. I looked into his credentials and reviews, and he seems genuinely wellregarded. When I brought up the idea to my daughter, she got quiet and said she didn't want to go she found the exam and swab test uncomfortable even with a female doctor, and the idea of a male doctor makes her more anxious about undressing and being examined.

I've never had a reason to see a male gynecologist myself, so I'm out of my depth on how to help her feel okay with this. I don't want to force her into something that makes her feel exposed or unheard, but I also don't want her stuck in a cycle of ointments and medications that aren't fixing the actual problem.

Would appreciate any advice medical (has anyone had a similar rash that turned out to be something specific?) or personal (how do you help a young woman feel safer going into an exam like this, especially with a male doctor)

Your daughter wouldn't be alone with him, a chaperone should be available during the examination but I'm sure if she wanted one for the whole appointment or for you to be there during the consultation bit that should be possible too.
Without meaning to be too intrusive, if she's sexually active, a sexual health clinic might also be worth a visit. It doesn't sound related but they are usually very kind and patient and may well have advice regarding intimate issues.

You want someone to tell you about their rashes in intimate areas, or examinations by male doctors. Not sure AIBU is the right place

Stay out of it; she’s a grown up and can make her own appointments.

Why don't you take her back to the original female dermatologist. To be honest it's a skin problem and more their area than a gynaecologist's. Skin issues often take a few stabs at getting right even for dermatologists.

Why not ask your close friend what she was diagnosed with and then see the female derm/gyno (as appropriate) to ask them for if that diagnosis fits your DDs symptoms

Ask for a female gynaecologist that at the same level as the male one. There may be a longer wait.Examinations by female gynaecologists are bad enough but when done by a male it’s frankly awful. I’ve had both.

Go and see a female gyno. Keep going back until the correct treatment is found.

I’m assuming you’re not in the UK where your first port of call would be the GP. When anyone would need to perform an intimate examination for a rash on the body is odd.

Our GP doesn’t just do intimate area consultations now. The online system bumps you to one of their gynaecology appointments with a wait. You then get referred to gynae at the hospital which is another wait.

What was the diagnosis your friend received? And what treatment? Can you access that same treatment via the pharmacist or your current gyn or dermatologist or via an online GP? It’s not like this one dude is the only one who can prescribe it. I’d go back to the doctors you’ve already seen and insist on a different approach.

That said, I had to see a male gynaecologist once and he was fantastic! He was the best one I’ve ever seen. So compassionate and respectful and genuinely listened and took time with me. I was 20 at the time and actually requested that my consultant be switched to him after because he was so much better.

Confused, why would she need to see a private gynaecologist for a skin rash on her breast, waist and outer crotch? These are all areas that are prone to sweat and skin irritation. If there has already been a diagnosis of a mild hormonal imbalance, which to be honest most women would show at some point in their cycle then surely the full diagnostics have been done. If she wants to seek a 2nd opinion from a dermatologist or virologist, fine, but what is she expecting another internal examination to show?

Could you not just get the medical records/report from the female gynecologist, and take those to the male one to avoid the another set of examinations?

But pps suggestion to ask your friend the diagnosis and treatment for her similar condition and going back to the female gynecologist seems a simpler option.