Child deeply unhappy at school

[torially]

7yo boy. Suspected adhd, possibly also autism. On a very long rtc waiting list with about 9 months to go. Hates school and comes home exhausted every day. Constantly talking about how he wants to go to another school. Says he is always told to stop doing things and that other children look at him, and teachers embarrass him. He said he wanted a drink in pe because he was hot and the teacher said no, but he felt sick and needed a drink to stop himself from being sick, but the teacher took it from him and poured it on the floor and said he won't be able to drink now. I have no idea how much of this is true, if he is exaggerating, etc, but he is clearly very unhappy. I don't know what to do. He has lots of friends but says he thinks nobody likes him. It breaks my heart watching him walk through the school gates every day with his head facing the floor. I've spoken to the school about how to support him as I feel he is unhappy and I am worried about him but they say he is fine and havr no feedback that even slightly matches what he is saying to me. Just feel very lost and feel so sorry for him. School was not built for him. How do I cope with this? How do I best support him? If the incident with the teacher pouring the water out is true, I do feel like this crosses a line into humiliating territory (they could have just taken the bottle away if it was really not appropriate for him to have a drink) but I have no idea what actually happened. I am totally exhausted by it all.

I suspect from what you say that the incident went along the lines of:
He asked for a drink of water.
Teacher said no (and they may have good reason - eg this was the seventh time he'd asked)
He went and picked up his drink anyway.
Teacher took it away, possibly if it was an open glass, then it was spilt.

That doesn't mean it isn't real in his mind.

What I'd suggest is go and talk to the school and find out and help him understand the reasoning/what happened.

Ds (asd, adhd) hated school right the way up. He asked to be moved/home schooled at various points which was basically him thinking that would mean he didn't have to go. But I could see that his issues would follow and we'd just be starting again from the beginning (or in home school case him doing nothing...)
He's 19 now and doesn't look upon school as all bad. A waste of time, yes, but he doesn't have terrible memories of everything.

Thanks, though I'm not annoyed at all he didn't get his favourite teacher. I'm notbsure where you're seeing that annoyance. I was quite looking forward to him being taught by a male as I think it could be good for him for a year.

" I've spoken to the school about how to support him as I feel he is unhappy and I am worried about him but they say he is fine and have no feedback that even slightly matches what he is saying to me."

"Constantly talking about how he wants to go to another school. Says he is always told to stop doing things and that other children look at him, and teachers embarrass him. "

You need to speak with school and get some details, especially since they have good SEN department. I agree he sounds unhappy, however I doubt you get a full picture yet.

Lone parent for many years with AuDHD DD17 here. OP I think you need to try and understand what he is struggling with first. For my DD it was the noise, the large class sizes and the constant masking rendered her exhausted. If it’s this then do they have quiet spaces and school he can use when overwhelmed? I ended up putting her in private for secondary (broke myself doing it) for the small class sizes, SEN provision and pastoral care.