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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does anyone else not have a career figured out?

3 replies

Boring567 · 10/07/2026 22:25

I feel like society defines people by their career, and there's definitely an expectation that you enter into a company and stay there for years, working your way up to senior positions.
Many people around me have done that and I do feel embarrassed that I haven't.
I'm in my mid 30s, I went to uni and did a humanities degree (which hasn't really got anywhere) and then a PGCE in my subject.

I never did the ECT years (or NQT as it was back then) I actually went abroad for several years as a TEFL teacher, which I enjoyed. Came back to the UK and worked in support staff school roles then supply for a couple of years, teamed with domicilary care work.

For the last 3 years ive been an AO and EO in a couple of civil service departments.
I've realised I do not enjoy office-based operational roles, micromanagement, being monitored.
I find many schools quite toxic and bullying environments. I'm not looking for a perfect unicorn job, i don't care if it's mundane and boring, physically tiring etc. But I can't stand toxic workplaces.
I recently started driving and I've been offered a field-based management role. I just want to stay in one place now and progress. I've increased my salary but I feel like I haven't had a career, just flitted around jobs. I get a lot of stick from friends and family, I know they aren't being nasty but I know they do judge me because they've all been in the same company for almost a decade and they don't get me.
I want to end the flip flopping now. I think community-based work will suit me and I want somewhere I can stay a few years.

Has anyone else not really had a career like this? I need to stop being so hard on myself, but I honestly feel shame.

OP posts:
Boring567 · 10/07/2026 22:28

Someone said I 'must have ADHD'- i feel like that's a lazy assumption, I don't feel that I have it nor do I present other symptoms of it. But it does hurt me a bit.

OP posts:
TulipsAndPancakes · 10/07/2026 23:44

I clean my local pub ... Still trying to figure out what I want to do 🤪

RoseOliviaAu · 11/07/2026 00:01

I don’t think anyone expects people to stay at the same company for years anymore. Generally people move on after 2-5 years for more money. You’re not unusual at all.

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