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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think they should pay for expenses

86 replies

broichehead748 · 10/07/2026 15:15

I was rejected for a job.

It involved:

a first stage interview made up of 10 questions and a 30 minute presentation (remote on Teams)

a second stage interview that was not mentioned in the original job listing. This entailed:

another 30 minute presentation
with follow up questions

The second interview interview gave me one weeks notice to take a full day annual leave, organise childcare, travel by car then train to a city 3 hours away, stay overnight in advance for an early interview time.

In total the interview prep took me two full days of my time. The original application took a day. Travelling to and from took two days. The cost of travelling and staying over was £300.

I was given the feedback that the successful candidate had more experience in terms of years in the sector then I did. Which they knew before asking me to the second interview. I’m so gutted that it cost me so much in time and money for a no based on something they already knew about me in advance. It would have hurt less to have not made second stage considering the stress and anxiety of travel and leaving my children to do the interview.

There are no expenses refunded. Is this unreasonable of them?

OP posts:
HoskinsChoice · 10/07/2026 18:18

Alwaysoneoddsock · 10/07/2026 18:11

The unintended consequence of not paying travel expenses for interview is that people who have less disposable income can’t apply for better roles. It stops social mobility. If you’re already an ok earner, you’re in a couple and the other person is earning a reasonable amount or you come from a family that has spare cash and is willing to fund you you’re ok. If you’re doing this all on your own it’s another invisible barrier to progression. Just like the new suit an earlier poster mentioned - all expenses that show you’re either in the club (already middle class) or you’re not.

This is all lovely but she hasn't actually asked for them to pay expenses. The other candidates may well have been paid. You can't blame a lack of social mobility on corporates when the individuals are not showing any common sense.

MrsOni · 10/07/2026 18:19

Send them an invoice. Absolutely i would expect expenses to be covered for interviews.

Alwaysoneoddsock · 10/07/2026 18:25

HoskinsChoice · 10/07/2026 18:18

This is all lovely but she hasn't actually asked for them to pay expenses. The other candidates may well have been paid. You can't blame a lack of social mobility on corporates when the individuals are not showing any common sense.

The fact that you know asking is an option shows you are in the club. Many aren’t and don’t know asking is a reasonable thing to do. Having these advantages is one thing, denying you have the advantage is just not cricket.

broichehead748 · 10/07/2026 18:31

HoskinsChoice · 10/07/2026 18:02

Why aren't you going to ask them? You should have asked before really but you can't whinge about not being paid for something you haven't asked for.

I knew in advance they wouldn’t pay it. It was listed on many glassdoor reviews so I knew they wouldn’t pay. I felt I had to take the gamble because better paying jobs where I live are very few and far between. A few posters have said I don’t have common sense and/or I didn’t take the initiative. I did but it didn’t change the fact that to have a chance at throwing my hat in the ring, I’d have to go into debt to do it.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 10/07/2026 19:03

broichehead748 · 10/07/2026 18:31

I knew in advance they wouldn’t pay it. It was listed on many glassdoor reviews so I knew they wouldn’t pay. I felt I had to take the gamble because better paying jobs where I live are very few and far between. A few posters have said I don’t have common sense and/or I didn’t take the initiative. I did but it didn’t change the fact that to have a chance at throwing my hat in the ring, I’d have to go into debt to do it.

Edited

If you knew in advance then what is the point of this post? To ask if they should change their policy? To ask how people feel in general? That's not the vibe of your first post and in fact knowing that they are non-reimbursers should have been right up there in your first post.

100bw · 10/07/2026 20:00

broichehead748 · 10/07/2026 16:03

I can’t afford them. They are on my credit card. £300 is not negligible to me. It’s a large sum to me.

I would ask for the hotel and travel expenses. It’s disgraceful that you had to pay that much.

100bw · 10/07/2026 20:01

Particularly given the reason you were rejected - they could have seen the other candidate’s experience on paper and not wasted your time.

Binnyforthewin · 10/07/2026 20:24

100bw · 10/07/2026 20:01

Particularly given the reason you were rejected - they could have seen the other candidate’s experience on paper and not wasted your time.

"The other candidates had more experience" is one of the generic lines that you use when sending out a rejection letter. It a bit like the "it's not you, it's me" line in relationships. It means you don't have to put anything overly critical about the candidate themself, and be quite polite. In addition because the rejected candidate doesn't know what the candidates experience is they can't counter argue.

Coconutter24 · 10/07/2026 21:03

100bw · 10/07/2026 20:00

I would ask for the hotel and travel expenses. It’s disgraceful that you had to pay that much.

No one forced Op to go to the interview

KnewYearKnewMe · 10/07/2026 21:10

Coconutter24 · 10/07/2026 18:12

I don’t think your expenses should be paid, imagine if a company had to pay expenses for every interview candidate they have. Let’s say a company interviews 5 people and they all spend £300 on travel, do you think the business should pay £1500 out to people that they aren’t even hiring? Can you see how you’re being unreasonable? You said yes to the interview and made plans to travel so the cost is on you.

If they are expecting all interviewees to travel to a city that is not where the role is based, then yes, absolutely, they should be open to reimbursing expenses.

whether that stretches to overnight accommodation would depend on the time and distance, but transport costs are a a yes at a minimum.

Coconutter24 · 10/07/2026 22:18

KnewYearKnewMe · 10/07/2026 21:10

If they are expecting all interviewees to travel to a city that is not where the role is based, then yes, absolutely, they should be open to reimbursing expenses.

whether that stretches to overnight accommodation would depend on the time and distance, but transport costs are a a yes at a minimum.

The role is for remote work so the chances are the interviews aren’t going to be in everyone’s home town. If they are willing to travel or not is on the people being interviewed. Don’t go to the interview if you’re not happy about travelling and the cost involved

broichehead748 · 10/07/2026 22:49

Coconutter24 · 10/07/2026 21:03

No one forced Op to go to the interview

No but the cost of living crisis did

OP posts:
broichehead748 · 10/07/2026 22:51

Binnyforthewin · 10/07/2026 20:24

"The other candidates had more experience" is one of the generic lines that you use when sending out a rejection letter. It a bit like the "it's not you, it's me" line in relationships. It means you don't have to put anything overly critical about the candidate themself, and be quite polite. In addition because the rejected candidate doesn't know what the candidates experience is they can't counter argue.

It’s a very small sector - I will know exactly what the winning candidate’s experience is once they take up the post. It will be visible to see. Without being too outing.

OP posts:
broichehead748 · 10/07/2026 22:54

Arlanymor · 10/07/2026 19:03

If you knew in advance then what is the point of this post? To ask if they should change their policy? To ask how people feel in general? That's not the vibe of your first post and in fact knowing that they are non-reimbursers should have been right up there in your first post.

I was interested in people’s general view of this. Whether it is seen as quite a sh*t thing to put people through or not. The voting is quite interesting. A general 60/40 split.

OP posts:
UhOhRatPoo · 10/07/2026 23:00

Tryagain26 · 10/07/2026 15:27

I think they should have paid your travel and accommodation expenses, obviously not preparation time though.. Presumably though you knew they wouldn't before you attended?.
It wasn't a given that they would have given the job to the person with more experience. She might not have been so impressive when they saw her. I expect you both interviewed very well and the only difference between you was her experience. But until they had been through the process they weren't to know that.

Edited

Yes, this. We recently interviewed 2 candidates who were equally good, so we chose the one who was available most quickly. We knew their availability beforehand but the one who could join straight away might not have been as good.

broichehead748 · 10/07/2026 23:00

I’d like to add that this was a final stage interview with a 50:50 chance of getting it. It was only me against one other. At that stage, I’d beaten over 120 people to get to the final stage. So despite knowing the large costs incurred to attend, I took the risk in a desperate attempt to finally be earning something decent. The risk didn’t pay off clearly. But I think for two candidates asked to travel miles away, they could have at least chucked in the train ticket. But most people are telling me I need to suck it up. I’ll now stay at the bottom of the ladder (no social mobility for me) because I can’t afford to take this risk again. Ah well.

OP posts:
OldCrohn · 10/07/2026 23:59

Risks aren't guaranteed pay offs. You decided it was worth taking the risk knowing you might lose the money. You win some, you lose some. You lost this one 🤷

HoskinsChoice · 11/07/2026 01:09

100bw · 10/07/2026 20:01

Particularly given the reason you were rejected - they could have seen the other candidate’s experience on paper and not wasted your time.

That's not how recruitment works. They were not wasting her time. They, like every other recruitment process, we're giving the strongest candidates an opportunity to prove they are the best. Not everything is as black and white as you and the OP claim.

HoskinsChoice · 11/07/2026 01:13

broichehead748 · 10/07/2026 23:00

I’d like to add that this was a final stage interview with a 50:50 chance of getting it. It was only me against one other. At that stage, I’d beaten over 120 people to get to the final stage. So despite knowing the large costs incurred to attend, I took the risk in a desperate attempt to finally be earning something decent. The risk didn’t pay off clearly. But I think for two candidates asked to travel miles away, they could have at least chucked in the train ticket. But most people are telling me I need to suck it up. I’ll now stay at the bottom of the ladder (no social mobility for me) because I can’t afford to take this risk again. Ah well.

Why are you still peddling this nonsense. You admit you haven't asked for your expenses.

I'm furious that they didn't give me the job. I didn't apply for it but still, I'm furious. Do you get the point now...?

Evaka · 11/07/2026 01:23

You're being a bit extra OP. You can't really be suggesting you'll never progess in life because you once had to spaff 300 quid on an interview.

Dust yourself off, try again and next time either ask re expenses or negotiate a better iv time/date so you don't have to overnight.

99bottlesofkombucha · 11/07/2026 01:27

broichehead748 · 10/07/2026 16:14

It was a fully remote role. Not at their head office. They chose a random city to interview from.

This changes it for me. I don’t get having to turn up for a fully remote role, especially somewhere far away. I think they should acknowledge that and pay the travel, and that’s not what I was planning on saying. I read the op and thought hiring process has second stage interview and expects an in person interview - well no shit Sherlock.

OuEstLaPlage · 11/07/2026 04:26

broichehead748 · 10/07/2026 16:06

Hello!

Thanks for the feedback so far. To be clear - I don’t expect prep time to be paid for. I have no intention of asking them to pay me anything at all. I mentioned my experience to a friend and they were shocked that I had to travel so far and pay for an overnight stay and there had been zero offer from the company to cover expenses. So it got me thinking.

The general vote seems to be that I should be expected to pay out large sums to attend interviews.

Edited

But you didn’t “have to” did you?
ita 3 hours away. You could easily have asked for your interview to be arranged early afternoon giving you plenty of time to drive there and back in a day.

McSpoot · 11/07/2026 05:14

Binnyforthewin · 10/07/2026 20:24

"The other candidates had more experience" is one of the generic lines that you use when sending out a rejection letter. It a bit like the "it's not you, it's me" line in relationships. It means you don't have to put anything overly critical about the candidate themself, and be quite polite. In addition because the rejected candidate doesn't know what the candidates experience is they can't counter argue.

It also could be that that was the deciding factor but not, in itself, an insurmountable barrier. So, the other factors had to be seen/tested.

BadSkiingMum · 11/07/2026 05:17

I think the question of expenses does slightly depend on where you live. I once managed someone (in a remote role) who lived in a notoriously remote part of Scotland. Not the islands but very similar. They refused to drive and it took them 5+ hours to get to the nearest large city to pick up other transport connections for any onward travel.

They were fine at the job but, as some face-to-face contact was needed, it was always disproportionately costly and time-consuming for them to carry out those parts of their role. We were a small organisation and it wasn’t ideal. I didn’t recruit them so the original decision had been nothing to do with me!

So if I were recruiting I would give a fixed contribution to expenses but expect the candidate to eat some of those costs if they lived a long way away.

Wecanbeheroes26 · 11/07/2026 05:24

There's nothing wrong with a second interview but I'd have asked if it could be done via Teams again!