AIBU to try to in-still a work ethic in my kids?

[Putneydad7]

I own an ex council house in London which I rent out and on the estate are a mix of private and council properties. I’ve spent the last few months renovating it. The last two weeks I’ve had my kids (one home from uni, one post exams) work on the renovations.
Next door is a council house and no one works, the kids and the mum sit around all day while their massive state funded garden grows weeds.
I struggle to make any money due to the taxes and regulations heaped on landlords with more to come from Burnham, anything I do make is subject to ever higher tax.
How can one family sit around and do bugger all and another have everyone working in the dirt in 35c heat just to keep next door in swimming pools. (Aside, next door bought an inflatable pool in the first heatwave and then because they never emptied it or treated it, the water became green. So they just bought a second one for this heatwave and put it right next to the green one!!!! )
I know socialism is spending other people’s money, but it is hard to in-still a work ethic in my kids when they’d rather be in the pool (but not the green one).

So the 14 years of Tory government were ok?
its only since Labour came to power that your neighbours stopped working?

You know that people can own ex council places and not have bought them from the council right? The place might have been sold off 30 years ago, ours was and had several owners before us. It's worth much less than the non ex council houses around because it's ex council and that has a stigma according to the estate agents.

OP everyone would have been horrified about the pools/waste of water/leaving one green while getting another one - if you hadn't mentioned benefits.

No one is allowed to say a negative thing about anyone on benefits on here - I can only assume it's because half the people here are on them and the other half are rich enough not to care about the cost.

Can't believe that there are a ton of people on another thread complaining about the cost of the posters disabled child getting transport to school but anyone on benefits, whose adult kids are also at home living on benefits are fine and shouldn't be judged.

I think the issue is that the OP is assuming the family is on benefits because they have a council house (and a green pool).

Obviously this is a failed attempt at rage bait.

The silliest part of your story is being jealous of your neighbour and her kids ‘sitting around all day’ but at the same time you’re acknowledging you’re making your kids work on the house renovations 😂😂

I'm not interested in criticising/demonising people who claim benefits, but I do think it's fine to ask capable older kids to work for/with the family.

I agree that teaching your kids the importance of hard work is a good thing. However, surely the message you want to teach is not just 'working hard is important because then you'll get more nice stuff.'

First, whilst working hard probably does increase our chances of having a life with stability and nice choices and nice stuff... but it is sure as hell no guarantee of it. Plenty of people work hard and don't get as far as they'd like. You seem to suggest this is the fault of socialist governments undermining the value of people's hard work, but I'd argue that the more significant problems are inequality, the leg-up enjoyed by the relatively privileged, and of course the completely unsolvable issue of luck. The hardest worker does not always get the best job opportunities, earn the most money and have the nicest house. They never will. In fact, the old cliche about 'working smart' more than 'working hard' holds some water I reckon, given that pouring hard work and energy into a specific course does not necessarily bring proportionate rewards.

Secondly, a good life isn't just about stability and money and pools and whatever. Plenty of people work hard and are, quite frankly, arseholes who think their hard work makes them superior to all others. Plenty of people work hard and neglect their families in the process, or don't get round to building a family at all, or to having any fun for themselves. Hard workers can end up stressed, miserable and lonely. Sure, it's useful for capitalism and general human productivity to sell hard work as a value that trumps all others (and to sell earning stuff through hard work as the ultimate way to the good life), but by itself I think this is no way to live. Hard work needs to be balanced with kindness and curiosity; with a desire to connect with others and with space to get to know ourselves. It needs to be balanced with fun.

I still think hard work is important. It does probably increase our chances of building a life we like, and of being respected and trusted and valued by other people. Hard work can help us to grow; to develop new skills; to make the most of hard situations; to be helpful to our loved ones and communities. I also reckon there's a sort of satisfaction that comes from making your house look lovely through graft that just doesn't come from any sort of hedonism. Yes, by all means aim to instil all this in your children. I sure as hell hope they get some nice time off too over the next few weeks too though. I also hope they don't learn to be judgemental and contemptuous of others as well as learning to work hard.

This and this
And stop talking nonsense... you're not getting your kids to do this so you can financially support these people. You're doing it for your own ends

What is it you were hoping for? The family in the council house to be slogging to renovate a house they don't own? Them to volunteer to help you for some inexplicable reason? Maybe a parade in honour of your excellent parenting while someone follows the other family around with a bell shouting "shame shame"?

You know nothing about them - not about their lives, health, disability. Nothing. And they don't owe you an explanation.

Honestly, staying cool seems like a sensible option to me, and perhaps more caring that having your dc do manual labour for free.

Oh blimey, Thatcher's government comprised greedy capitalist bastards! Rentier society is exactly what they wanted. And the right to buy policy was more about getting "working class folk" to vote Tory than helping them out with their housing.

Other than this, the first poster had it right. The OP has well and truly over-egged the custard here. It's not that hard to make a fake, rage bait thread sound believable. Poor effort.

YANBU OP, I hear you and makes my blood boil!

So you brought an ex council house and want to rent it out . Yet complain about your council next door neighbours. Do you not see how ridiculous you sound🫣

Of course they do.

That’s probably the aim of the thread - to get people frothing.

This.

Your children presumably, aren’t totally thick? Remind them about the value of asset ownership and the privilege that comes with working to buy what you want, build a pension for your retirement, get in work employment benefits and achieve.

im sure they realise swapping it to sit round in a sad little paddling pool isn’t the dream

You can have a work ethic without looking down your nose at other people.
You teach a work ethic by having an expectation to work, and to admire hard work, no matter how modest.
And often money can be the motivator or used to be, in terms of going to work. And a sense of pride in being self sufficient and independent.

Mrs T would be turning in her grave.

A lot of the current issues in society I am afraid can be rooted back to her Government.
The lack of social housing is just one of them.

You are not unreasonable to seek to instill a work ethic in your children.
You are unreasonable to do it whilst looking down your nose at other people.
One doesn’t require the other.

Yabu you’re not instilling any work ethic by complaining that “regulations” prevent you from profiting off someone’s home.

Is there a little irony in the fact that the OP bought a property that was built using tax money, and she's hoping to turn it to personal profit?

Report them to the water company for filling a paddling pool during a hose pipe ban. 😁

I mean you could spell it right. Instil*

OP, I think your comments about the neighbours of the ex council house from which you are planning to profit will only instil groundless prejudices in your offspring, sadly. Always good to walk a mile in someone's shoes before you look down on them. I am sure your renovations are not enhancing their experience of living next to you either. We all have our prejudices I suppose and it would appear that plenty of people don't hold profiting from the sale of ex council houses in high esteem. I like to think that is the conversation taking place next door amongst the meadow of weed and selection of swimming pools.

Such a disingenuous title. You know full well that no one would disagree that you should teach your children work ethic. This is just a post to have a jibe at council house tenants and the government.
I really don't think someone making money from an ex-council house is in the best position to be slating council house tenants or the government.

In addition to this, that being out of work isn't a moral failing, I have ME and wfh
I've been the victim of judgment by someone who accused me to the police (long story) of sitting around fraudulently claiming single person benefits and not working, and having my dh live there whilst I claimed single person discount. She reported me to my own dept (I worked in council tax) and I had to tell my own work colleagues what she was like.
None of that was true, I was working overtime during the pandemic and carried on afterwards to keep up with the workload. dh was deployed and didn't live with me anyway. As well as struggling with a newly diagnosed disability.
If you'd seen me in my garden during my lunch break you'd think I didn't work, I suppose.
This thread is disgusting and judgmental, people should really think before they make assumptions and post this kind of shite.
Also being a landlord isn't a job, give me a break.