Am I being a total cow?

[Rugrats2020]

Our cleaner just messaged cancelling our clean today because it’s going to be 26 here (which is a hell of a lot better than the 30 it’s been the last few days)

She then said that going forward, she won’t be working at all if the temp is over 25.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I completely get its physical work and there is no way I’d have expected her to work the last couple of days, but my worry is it genuinely hasn’t been below 25 degrees here for weeks and this could go on all summer.

I replied re today saying okay but if she’d rather work (and not lose out on the money) I’m more than happy for her to do half of what she normally does, or just whatever she can do if she wants to sit down for regular breaks etc. I always make her drinks if I’m here or tell her to help herself to drinks etc when we’re not. It’s a 2 hour slot. She messaged back saying thanks but she won’t be working at all if it’s over 25 degrees.

I had quite a major operation 2 weeks ago (which she knows about) and could really have done with her not cancelling today (as I said, if it was really hot like the last few days I wouldn’t have expected her to come)

I’m now wondering whether to look for another cleaner, but then does that make me a total cow? I get on pretty well with my cleaner and apart from cancelling a lot, she does a good job when she is here and I’d feel really guilty letting her go but I cannot see these summers of ours getting any better in terms of these ‘heatwaves’ where we live, it’s been like this for the last 4 summers now. I
doibt I’ll see her much more this summer if she’s going to stick to her 25 degree rule?

Does she mean 25 outside or inside? Where we are in the south east it’s been 25 outside for half of the last two months, and inside is worse, but most people are still cleaning as normal albeit sometimes starting a bit earlier.

Have you tried cleaning your home yourself with the fans you have on in the heat as a test? Might be worth investing in some more, to solve the issue.
Maybe you could also move the fan from the room she doesn't clean to a room and area she does. I also sympathise, I struggle to even vacuum at the moment, we have a couple of fans too.

Why would you feel guilty about letting her go? She didn't mind letting you down on the day she was supposed to come. Just find a new cleaner you can rely on.

She is reasonable to have her boundaries. You are reasonable to say that doesn't work for you and find another cleaner. Especially since she cancels alot anyway

Then she won't make any money at all for several months of the year, but if that's what she wants?
You can't force her to work and she's said it now.
I guess you need a new cleaner.

I think she can do what she wants 🤷🏻‍♀️ but it’s not a very wise business decision. It’s 30c here today. We have builders in (as we have for the past 4 months, big restoration project). I don’t personally care if the builders work or not (we’re paying for the job, not the hours, makes no difference to me when the come to do it). They have never missed a day. Similarly, Dh works self employed in a very hot trade. He’s working today (outside) as are all his employees. We also have livestock. The heat didn’t stop me doing my farm chores. Work needs to get done whether it’s 30c or 3c. But if she doesn’t want work, that’s fine, but yes, I’d look elsewhere if she’s consistently unreliable.

I think it's reasonable to say this to her. That you like her and don't want to end the relationship, but as these hot summers are here to stay, and as you can't be without a cleaner for all of summer, you will have to find another cleaner. I don't think either of you are being unreasonable - your expectations just don't align.

If she was asking to change the time she came, or take longer over it, or do shorter sessions, I'd say you should accommodate her, but just saying she won't work at all over that temp is bonkers. As you say, this seems to be the new normal weather wise, so we need to learn how to get on with normal life, and work despite it.

Explain your worries to her. If dhe can't clean over the summer, find someone else. You are not friends with her. She is doing a job (or not).

shes going to be let go from alot of clients- my sister is a cleaner has worked when it was 35 degrees this woman is being ridiculous

25 degrees is quite a low bar- as you say there could easily be 2 or 3 months when it doesn't fall below that. I would also not be keen on not knowing whether the cleaner is coming or not. I would say to her I understand your position but I will be looking for a new cleaner and will give her 2 weeks notice when I find one.

Just find another cleaner, I'm sure you won't be the only one of her clients to do this. My cleaner has worked on all the hot days and has just asked to start earlier.

Absolutely this. If you’ve explored other options like working in the evening etc, there does come a point when you look for something else that suits you

Yea no that’s ridiculous. If she can’t do the job you need to find someone who can.

When it was super hot I asked my cleaner not to vacuum, as there’s no way I would have vacuumed in that heat. She switched to deep clean of bathrooms instead.

so funny and so predictable!

Sack her off OP, employ someone decent, but don’t do your own cleaning.

What decent reliable cleaner? OP doesn’t have one!

Could you use an agency for the summer and use her in the winter? If she has an issue with you not wanting her in the summer under 25 degrees, then I'd use the agency year round.

I understand her viewpoint, and she may have her own health issues, but knowing you've had an operation, I think she could have been more flexible this week. I think she's going to find herself with significantly fewer clients.

Could she be pregnant and finding the heat is effecting her more than it might usually??

But if you’re having a hard time to decide whether or not to stick with her now - when she doesn’t want to work at 25 degrees….

You’ll have no chance bringing yourself to replace her when she takes maternity leave…

I’d try and find a reliable cleaner now - when you need it!

You’re not being a cow, and she’s not being unreasonable either. This is a commercial relationship. She’s told you the basis on which she’ll provide the service, if that doesn’t work for you then you’re well within your rights to look elsewhere.

@Rugrats2020 25°C is not an extreme temperature, it’s warm. It’s uncomfortable for physical work. But it’s not medically dangerous for most people. If she’d said “I can’t work above 30°C,” or “I need shorter shifts in heat,” that would be reasonable. But 25°C is a threshold we now hit constantly, especially in the last few summers. If she sticks to this rule, she’ll be unavailable for most afternoons, for most of June–August, and for many days in May and September. That’s not a workable arrangement.

She’s self‑employed so she can choose her limits, but you can choose your cleaner. Self‑employed means she sets her own conditions, but you’re not obligated to accommodate them if they don’t meet your needs. Her rule is her boundary. Your need for reliability is your boundary. They don’t match. That’s nobody’s fault but it’s incompatible.

You’ve just had major surgery, and for me this is the mean bit, at your most vulnerable/needy, she is letting you down. This is the part that matters most. You’re not asking for frivolous cleaning. You’re asking because you’re recovering, you physically can’t do certain tasks and you need someone dependable. She knows this. She still cancelled. That tells you everything you need to know about her reliability.

You offered reasonable adjustments, You weren’t rigid. you said do half, take breaks, sit down, I’ll make drinks. but she still said no. So it’s not about flexibility, it’s about her refusing to work in conditions that are normal for the season.

Would you be a cow for replacing her? Absolutely not. You’re not firing her for being ill, having childcare issues, having a one‑off emergency, or struggling in a heatwave. You’re replacing her because she has declared she won’t work in the conditions that exist for months of the year. That’s not sustainable. If anything, she’s the one making the decision for you.

The kindest way to handle it? Well you can keep it simple and guilt‑free:
“Thanks for letting me know. With the temperatures we’ve been having, I’m going to need someone who can work consistently through the summer. I’ll need to find another cleaner, but I wish you all the best.” No drama. No guilt. No debate.

For me the question of whether or not she has to go, rests squarely on whether you want a cleaner who works only in spring and autumn, or a cleaner who works when you actually need them? Because that’s the choice she is giving you - and you are the client, you did not employ her for irregular work.

Does she mean 25C outside in the shade, or 25C in your house? Some houses are cooler than outside on hot days, and some are much hotter. If you want to keep her on, perhaps you could ask whether keeping your home below 25C would be enough to persuade her to come.
However, since she keeps cancelling and doesn't mind risking staying away for weeks at a time, she doesn't sound keen on working for you so probably a change would be better than hanging on.

If I was you I'd see if I could get someone to come and do a one off clean this week. If they're not as good as your usual cleaner, keep it as a one off. If they are as good/better consider changing to them for regular cleans.
I did see where the cleaner was coming from. I'm not a professional cleaner but I am taking much longer to clean in the heat so I could understand a cleaner being worried about not being able to meet standards and potentially damaging their reputation. However, you kindly offered less work recognising the impact the heat could have but got quite a blunt response so you shouldn't be worried about her feelings or loss of work.

I'd quietly be looking elsewhere - being frequently let down by a cleaner would, in my mind, be worse than just getting into a schedule and doing it myself.

Yes I can understand not wanting to clean in this heat but as you point out she is unreliable anyway , so I would find someone else