To think that this was her way of saying no?

[Beachywaves13]

So my 10yo plays a sport and there’s one of the mums I usually end up chatting to.

A few times in the past she’s mentioned her child being bullied and struggling with friendships. She’s also put out generic invites for other parents to meet up a couple of times, but no one could ever make it at the time.

So we were chatting recently and got onto the subject of the Summer holidays and I said it would be nice to meet up with the dc .

She seemed to quickly change the subject, she laughed and said let me get x, y and s out of the way first.

Then she said “anyway, they’re all meeting up for Harry’s party soon”. One of the dc is having a party soon.

I just sort of smiled and moved on, but I feel a bit embarrassed that I asked.

Yabu - you’re overthinking
Yanbu - she was definitely shutting the idea down

She sounds hard work and rude, I would stay clear if I was you anyway!

if I was you I’d say something like “here Jan, you keep asking people to go out after school and I’ve offered like 3 times but you don’t seem interested, what’s going on?”

but if you want to keep guessing it could be:
a) she doesn’t actually want to go anywhere
b) she doesn’t like making plans in advance
c) she feels like you’re taking pity on her kid but your child doesn’t actually want to hang with hers
d) her kid doesn’t like your kid
e) she only wants to go in a big group
f) she fancies you and is too shy to say yes
g) you hallucinated her and she doesn’t actually exist

i mean I could keep going but that’s why I would just ask.

You’ve been really kind but I’d not make any further attempts now. There’s only so much you can do in extending an offer of friendship and you’ve done your bit

I am the first to disagree with people pleasing but I dont agree with this at all.

If you are literally telling people you find making friendships difficult and are wanting more social invites and someone kindly offers you a social invite in response -to then dismiss it is really fucking rude.

If you dont want to meet up thats absolutely fine, but then dont moan in front of them about how you never get to meet up with anyone!

This seems so obvious to me.