Flight tonight and have developed a massive fear of flying

[snoringnights]

Does anyone have any tips or tricks please? Flying home tonight and absolutely ill about the flight. I am absolutely terrified and in an awful state. Flight here was awful for me and I am filled with total anxiety about getting on the flight home tonight. Thanks

Can you download a meditation app , breathing exercises ,:have a glass or 2 of alcohol, have a walk or similar to burn off nervous energy . Are you flying alone ?

What was so terrible about the flight over? It might help if we know the specifics of what you fear. Are you travelling with anyone or on your own?

Do you have generalised fear of travel or anything similar?

Ive been here many a time and I really feel for you. Ive even fantasised about getting a boat home before 🙈.

I think you have to ride the panic wave. I sometimes tell a steward im a nervous flier if they look sympathetic enough but there is no silver bullet for phobias.

You will be absolutely fine. I know that doesnt help but if you can let that fact land just a little.

If you had a bad flight over the chances are very small of another one back but either way concentrate on you being home when you land. Book to read on the flight xxxxx

OP look. Turbulence is no different to bumps in the road. Planes are built for it. Statistics tell us it’s a very safe method of transport. Also, look, the pilots don’t want to die, they are normal humans doing a job like driving a train! Do you get this terrified getting on a high speed train?

Also, watch the cabin crew, they go about their business and the only time in my many years of flying I have seen them had to sit down within the flight was when we were stacking to land in a really bad storm years ago.

I said you’re not unreasonable for being nervous especially after a horrible journey there. My daughter is a nervous flier but only for a few minutes until we take off then she’s fine. It helps her to sit by the window and hold my hand without talking until we’re up then she’s fine can move about freely. I became nervous and anxious about driving during peri menopause and ended up having to get rid of my manual car as I was so scared to drive it. Could it be related to hormone changes? As pp said it’ll be fine I’m sure.

Breathing exercises. Ask the cabin crew for extra support

Could potentially be due to hormonal changes as my hormones are crazy these days and I never used to be like this with flying. Flying with my husband and 2 kids so need to act like I’m not absolutely terrified. Husband is really terrified of flying, think I pick up on his anxiety and it’s made me 100 times worse. Can’t wait to safely be on home soil. Flight here wasn’t overly bad in terms of turbulence etc it was just absolutely terrifying and I was crying and having really bad heart palpitations and being sick.

Talk to the flight stewards, they’re very helpful and adept at dealing with very nervous flyers.

I absolutely hate it. I pretend that I'm driving, so don't think about being in the air at all, just driving along a road, oh there's a bump, it's all fine, it does help a little bit.

Statistically you are far more likely to be killed driving to the airport (or on any car journey) than flying. Remind yourself that you are being irrational.

The thing is, I’m sure logically you know that the chance of anything happening is minuscule, but knowing that doesn’t stop your fear. Maybe look into fear of flying courses for you both when home as it can’t be pleasant for any of you, kids included.

I am not the biggest fan of flying, but when I’m with my kids I actually find it far less stressful as I’m spending my time being excited for them, looking after their needs instead of mine. So focus on your kids and see if that can push some of the fear away.

Breathing techniques or maybe mediation could help you relax.

Also I have a friend whose husband is a pilot and I remember asking her once if she ever worried about his job. She said she worried about his commute to Heathrow and home by road but never about the flying!

I find it helpful to think about the thousands of air stewards and pilots who fly hundreds of times a year. Also the fact that I’m almost half a century old and do not know a single person who has died or been injured in a plane accident. OP you are incredibly safe when in the air. Planes are built to withstand a lot and can be flown on a single engine if one fails (not that it’s likely!). Statistically you’re more likely to win millions on the lottery than to die in a plane crash.

I wouldn’t normally suggest taking alcohol for nerves but I genuinely find a glass of wine or G&T beforehand or in flight has helped when I’ve felt nervous in the past.

I am definitely more nervous of flying than I used to be. Mid 40s and perimenopausal is rubbish!

Whenever I get nervous I look at the air hostesses. They are always happily just getting on with things which helps hugely.

As an aside get your vitamin levels checked. My iron and vit d was low and since stating supplements my anxiety has improved hugely.

I work in the insurance industry and statistically commercial flights are incredibly safe. Rational
facts don't automatically make phobias disappear so try to distract yourself with a movies or read a book. Good luck

This is a really stupid thing to say to someone with a phobia. How on earth does it help her to think about all the other horrible ways she might die? She's not scared of them is she?

OP it helps me to think of and watch the crew, getting on with the same job they do day in and day out. Think of the calm competence with which the pilots handle the plane, and how the cabin crew deal with all their tasks. They expect to get home to their families in one piece, and you will too.

I’m sure someone will be along to tell me I’m saying something stupid but I look at pictures of cats and listen to my favourite music, and I resign myself to my fate whatever it may be. Best wishes OP. 🌷

Thats the point though. Why worry about flying when she isn't worrying about the journey to the airport, or home at the other end? Its silly to worry about by far the safest leg of the journey.

I think it would be more effective than creepily day dreaming about the crew.

Are you in a country where you can get tranquillisers from a pharmacy? Or can you get some prescribed by a local doctor? The hotel, if you are in one, can presumably give you details of local facilities.

How old are you? I am not one to put every single symptom down to menopause but I was absolutely fine with flying until I had my hysterectomy and my estrogen levels started going nuts. I am now medicated and fine with flying again.

Not going to help with anxiety in the short term but understanding that if you used to be OK with flying and that there is a medical possibility for your current issues, that might help. How long is the flight? Speak to the crew and tell them you are nervous. They are very kind and used to anxious passengers.

If you're the sort of person who can bury themselves in a good book, that can be a very good way to take your mind off what is happening.

Also on a practical level - there are some really good apps with puzzles, colour by numbers or whatever to keep you distracted.