15 year old keeps getting parcels and I'm starting to wonder where the money’s coming from

[EarlyMorningTea0]

My 15 year old daughter has suddenly started getting little parcels delivered a few times a week. Nothing massive, just those small padded envelopes or little boxes. She always says its just bits she’s ordered.

Thing is I cant work out how she’s paying for any of it. She doesn’t have a job, gets normal pocket money from us and that definitely wouldn’t stretch to this many deliveries. We’ve not noticed money missing or anything odd with the bank accounts either.

I’ve asked her a couple of times and she just shrugs and says she’s got money. When I ask from where she says she’s been saving or sold a few things, but she’s never really had much worth selling as far as I know.

Part of me thinks she’s 15 and entitled to a bit of privacy, but another part of me thinks I’m her parent and if money is appearing from somewhere I should know about it. I dont want to accuse her of anything if theres a perfectly innocent explanation, but equally I dont want to ignore something that turns out to be a bigger issue.

AIBU if I insist she tells me exactly where the money is coming from?

My thoughts too.

Children suddenly getting ‘gifts’ or having more money is a huge red flag. It could be perfectly innocent, but unless you’ve seen evidence of her Vinted / EBay account or witnessed her wrapping up parcels to be posted, where are the funds coming from?

I hate to say this, but she could potentially be being groomed or be involved in something where she’s either given money or the little parcels are being sent to her by someone.

Start by casually asking her about her selling accounts and how it’s going, what she’s selling etc. Vinted really doesn’t generate much money unless you have a constant flow of sales.

You don’t know where your 15 year old got money from. And you are considering privacy 😆😆

it literally could be anything including only fans type web cams . You need to get to the bottom of it.

You need to actually see her Vinted sales account and yes you need to see her bank account for evidence. Not just take her word it is Vinted.
Vinted does not generate much money especially if she only has cheap things and you don’t see her wrapping up parcels . And then people normally share - oh I sold this or i
sold that.
Plus I’m pretty sure their rules don’t allow under 18s to sell

I don’t think she can be selling on
vinted without you knowing. It’s like a production line of wrapping and having to get to shops / lockers. If she is selling her belongings why hasn’t she told you about it ? Why is it a secret ?

As for what she’s buying then my first thought would be Ali Express or similar but those parcels come with customs stickers on them so you can see. You could buy a few things a week for £10

My DD14 has a Monzo account linked to mine. It’s easy to move her funds over and I can see what she’s spending. At birthdays it’s hilarious to see her spending £1.99 at the Card factory on my card… really pushing the boat out. 🙄

You’re right - she won’t have a Vinted or Ebay account. She’s fifteen. Online selling platforms have a minimum age of 18. They require proof of age and a source of payment.

The law would disagree with you there.....

Generally parents set them up and then don’t bother to check them.

What exactly is she getting? I would insist she opens every parcel and explains where it came from. She is 15, still lives at home - of course you have every right to ask! She is still legally a child and its your responsibility to look after her.

I’d think it was temu tat. My DD used to buy a ridiculous amount of stuff which came in dribs and drabs for about £10 for 20 things

An inbox locker is not a p o box .

Lol could be worse Card factory have cards starting at 29p

Get to the bottom of it, ask her how much she’s spent, what she sold, how much she got and then confirm it by checking her account. You have to be really careful with stuff like this because it could be nothing or it could be an early sign of grooming

Forget privacy. She's 15, of course you ask her wher the money is coming from, and ask for proof - e.g. to see her bank account. I would also ask to see what she is buying.

just thinking similar that or only fans and an amazon wishlist that people buy the gifts on for her

all easy to bypass with enough determination

Its could be cheap tat of shein temu or 10 million dodgy things. If she's on tiktok she could be doing anything lots of begging on there.

Ok im going to go against the grain. Temu, ffs you cant get alot of things for £10. If shes on tik tok she could well be testing products depending on her profile. People jumping to sugar daddy etc are absurd!!!

I teach teenagers. One of the things we get trained to look for is if any of their ha it's change - money when they don't usually have it is definitely on that watch list!

How did the conversation go @EarlyMorningTea0?

This is what I would do.

I work in child protection - gifts and unexplained items an indicator of grooming. I realise I am over sensitive to this because of my work but I would want to know. I would also open some of the parcels to see what’s inside.

Why are you so timid? Your house, your rules. I am amazed at the misplaced respect for the children's boundaries these days.

The parcels have been things like phone cases, make up, hair bits, that sort of thing from what I’ve actually seen. Nothing designer or really expensive, which is probably why I kept telling myself it wasn’t a big deal.

Initially I thought you didn't know what was in the parcels, but clearly you do, and they're the kind of things that you can get for pennies with no delivery costs. So £40 a month could easily buy this stuff.

I'm not understanding all the posters advising things like forcing her to open the parcels in front of you, given that you already have knowledge of what she's buying.

I agree. DD is 17 and typical of her friends. She gets £40 per month pocket money, it goes straight into her bank account and she has a debit card.

She buys clothes on vinted, wears them til she fancies something different then sells them again and buys something new.

The littles parcels from temu/shein/ali express are likely just continue £1-2 items... Earrings, hair clips, lip balm etc. If there is Chinese writing on the parcel anywhere it will definitely be one of those. That would be completely in line with what she is doing.

I'm going to go against the grain, she's using her pocket money to buy a few cheap items, enjoying a bit of independence. I think it would be ridiculous to start questioning her about OF or drugs! Just like we might have been and bought cheap make up at the pound shop etc.

It sounds exactly like my daughter's spending and she would be so hurt if I suggested she was involved in those things because she bought a few cheap bits.

I find mumsnet can be a bit hysterical. Maybe talk to some people in real life about it ...