Thread regarding the messages while MN “look behind the scenes”

[KaneFTW]

Please can I have feedback still.
The messages have been taken down.

MN will see I’ve been here for nye on 17 years or more and Im the one in the green.

I just want feedback. I feel like I can’t believe my own brain.

im being told im DARVO, im this and im that. And I don’t know what to believe.

I was typing while mn hid the thread. I said I think it's a face to face conversation really.

I agree.

But feedback on the words said?

if I’m being defensive, I will take it. I won’t argue.

I couldn't tell if she was genuinely trying to understand or she didn't believe you. You know her best. Sorry I can't be of any help. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt I think.

I didn't think you were defensive though.

Can you summarise your story? Didn’t see the last thread.

She is autistic so naturally she will ask “to
the point” questions.

My issue was me voicing how I felt
about it and being told I’m being defensive.

Is MN really slack these days?

It should take two minutes to see my history and know I’m not a troll??

Oops sorry MN HQ, I can see it’s back now. Thank you

Can you post a link to the other thread please?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5551681-can-i-have-opinions-on-this-text-conversation-regarding-rape-please

I think the concern was that someone thought that you were the poster in white rather than in green. If that had been the case, then you would have posted something incredibly personal online about someone else. Obviously, that's not the case so they let it stand.

Yes I thought you were being a bit defensive and I said on the thread its a face to face conversation where the ebb and flow of any conversation like that would entail someone trying to understand what was happening for you, that means asking questions

Or dont talk about it at all

You were a bit defensive, maybe justified - but I think you were inferring tone that maybe was not there.

I think it is valid to ask why you would someone socialise with your rapist, why you would change your perception on whether it was rape after time and why an abused woman would stay (although there is often financial reasons there that make it difficult to leave so I think that as a false equivalence). I don’t understand how anyone could do any of those things, which may be my privelege, but I would need to ask to try to understand and not because I’m judging.