Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to stop being everyone’s emotional dumping ground?

2 replies

Extragummy · Yesterday 18:19

Or my head might explode?

My elderly, widowed mother is so needy and likes to complain about everything. It’s a complicated relationship and I’ve only realised in recent years that she’s extremely emotionally immature and probably a narc too but isn’t going to change at her age. I now limit the time I spend with her but it’s exhausting when she lays on the guilt tripping. I’m not going to go NC with her.

My sibling loves a good whinge about minor things when we talk.

I have another elderly relative who I’m happy to help out with shopping /house stuff etc but they can also moan for the entire hour or so I spend with them every week.

I have a teenager who’s great but is prone to dramatics and I’m their default sounding board.

And I work full time in a very busy role.

Lately DH has joined the moaning chorus - I think he’s turning into Victor Meldrew - and I am the person he unloads to about various things that annoy him from work to how to deal with our teenager (who really is not a problem!) He has friends but he wouldn’t moan to them.
My head is full. I squeeze out an hour a week for a yoga class, maybe get to the gym if I can. I walk my dog. But my brain can’t take any more.

AIBU to tell him the listening ear has gone deaf?
In all seriousness though, how do I tell people to stop using me as an emotional dumping ground?

OP posts:
KTheGrey · Yesterday 18:36

Carve out more time for yoga, plus Pilates, plus outdoor activity of some kind, plus something social and refuse to give an inch.

For me, cheerful laughter at the ridiculousness always helps, but I have only a few hours capacity for this and then I must be elsewhere.

Ritaskitchen · Yesterday 18:43

Allow them an amount of time and then change the subject? Or explain they have eg 5 mins to moan and then subject will be changed.
Also I make a point with DH to be silly and joke and have a laugh. As we get older life seems to get more serious/complicated and a bit of silliness goes a long way.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread