To not want DH to return to work

[bouncybunny12]

DH has had migraine with aura since Friday (lost partial vision and then migraine started with vomiting) which usually only lasts a day or 2 if he ever gets them which is occasionally. He has been to see GP and was given Migraleve but has not made a dent in the pain so has been told to come back tomorrow to try a triptan. He says that his work will think he is trying it if he stays off any longer but I think he should not go in as his working environment is fluorescent lighting, stood all day, hands-on type of work and it will definitely make things worse and cause him to have to leave again, making it two absences instead of one continuous absence. He is a very integral member of his team and I severely doubt they would give him trouble for being this unwell but he is paranoid that they will. AIBU?

His long term health has to be a priority. In this heat, I would take one more day. Also inform work what steps he has taken. Most decent employers will rather have someone returning to work when fit

From what you say he litterally won't be able to work in those conditions until his migraine is better.
Has he tried wrap-around glasses that keep out blue light? They help me.
I hope he gets some help soon.

No but has a pair of prescription sunglasses that he’s been wearing, however nothing he does is lessening the pain at all. GP has sent for bloods but hopefully the triptan can break the pain, I’ve never seen it last this long and it never lessens!

As a H&S officer, if it will impair his ability to work safely then definitely not.

It absolutely sounds to me that he needs to stay off.

My father used to have migraines like this in the 1970s. I imagine medication is better than it used to be in those days, but I remember him vomiting and lying in a dark room with a damp black towel over his head for 2-3 days at a time. There was no way he could have gone in to work.

I am therefore always suspicious when people tell me that they have a migraine but seem perfectly capable of shopping/going to work/going to the gym whatever. I often assume that people say they have a migraine when actually they just have a headache. Similarly, I often assume that people who say they have flu just have a cold.

I accept I may be wrong in both cases!

Based on your thread title, I was expecting to find you unreasonable. But your post is clearly motivated by genuine concerns about whether your DH is well enough to return. And from what you have said, he really isn't.

No decent employer or team would hold it against him if he genuinely isn't well enough to be there. It doesn't actually sound like he could cope if he did go in?!

@Fifthtimelucky I get migraines but I don't react like your father. I get them for 3/4 days at a time and they increase and decrease in that time scale from bareable and I can function with painkillers, to I can't speak and I need to put my head down somewhere.
But you may well see me functioning in between those attacks but still be in pain.

Your DH needs to be home OP, he is not well and he's been to the doctors so can tell work exactly that anyway.
Tell him stressing about work will make the migraine worse and he needs to focus on resolving it instead. We do not live to work and they will always somehow manage without somebody.

He needs to stay off if he can't do his job safely. He could also get another aura on top, I recently had 2 auras 6 days apart and no let up of headaches in-between
It's a good idea to try triptans I don't know why the doctor didn't prescribe them immediately anyway
I have been using a headaterm 2 as well and think it helps but it's expensive
And a migraine cool cap plus the cool gel pads on my neck.
Really hope he feels better soon

From personal experience triptans, whilst stopping the migraine, can make you ‘trippy’. Not sure what other word to describe it tbh. They make me feel very lightheaded and nauseous, not myself at all. To the point I don’t take them 😔 But your OH might be fine. Deffo keep pushing the GP though, there are various different medications he can try. One thing that helped my OH was to take some beta blockers for a period of time and it really did the trick - he doesn’t get them anymore (doesn’t work for everyone especially if they’re hormone driven).

Other people have suggested smelling peppermint oil. Ice / cold caps. Someone else swears by a full fat coke and fries from Maccies 😂 🤷‍♀️

Good luck to your OH, mine are hormone driven (I think), they only got better after I had my DCs, weirdly.

Only triptans work for me. No amount of strong painkillers will touch the pain if it’s a migraine. For proper recovery he needs to address the source with something like sumatriptan. If he has a migraine he won’t be able to go into work. He probably doesn’t have to wait to see the GP. Triptans in lower doses are available otc.

Definitely take another day.

My oh uses to get debilitating ones and would have to take to his bed for 24/48 hours or huddle in in a ball in the bottom of the shower with the water blasting his head.

It took decades for him to work out his triggers as they developed over time. Cocoa/Chocolate was the big one and when he worked that out he went from every weekend to one or twice a year. Any coloured alcohol is another big one.

He has found in this heat that carrying around a damp towelling cloth around his neck to keep cool has been a help.

Has he seen anybody other than the GP to exclude other conditions that can cause similar symptoms?

No decent employer would hold it against him but a decent employer also wouldn’t count it as two occasions of absence, if he was sent home on the day of his return or the following day. He needs to listen to his body at this point and do what’s best for him.