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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel anxious about a coworkers behaviour towards me at work?

6 replies

PearlWasp · Yesterday 12:33

I am looking for honest opinions on whether this is a normal way to feel at work.
I work with someone who is higher up than me however is not my manager. We work in retail.
This person often finds the job very stressful and when they are stressed, the rest of the team must walk on eggshells to avoid being snapped at. One shift I was working with them, I forgot to mention something when asking them for help (it was such a little thing that it just slipped my mind as I'd been doing the same thing with other colleagues previously) anyway my coworker snapped at me in front of the customers for it and I had been having such a rubbish time lately, it felt like the final straw and I just burst into tears. My coworker did apologise later on however the apology consisted of mainly excuses as to why they had done it.
On another occasion this coworker threw keys at another colleague because they were angry, that colleague did report them for it.
They often speak in a condescending, frustrated way when dealing with employees, however suck up to management. Management actually aren't much better.
So aibu to feel upset that this is how I am treated at work for little to no reason? It impacts my mental health as I feel incredibly anxious about asking this person questions or for support now and I don't feel like I can speak to management because they all look out for each other. I know my other colleagues feel the same so it's not just me.

OP posts:
MajorSamanthaCarter · Yesterday 12:38

If this was a husband/partner behaving like that then the consensus would be ltb.
You need to report every instance of abusive behaviour to someone higher up.

DorisTheFinkasaurus · Yesterday 12:42

I would approach this issue with management as a first step. It is important to report your colleague's behaviour.

I'd be quietly making plans to leave. Do your time, get the experience, and all of that, but it's never worth staying too long at the fair. Life is short. No need to sabotage your mental health by staying in an unhealthy work environment.

Brownwithnopezazz · Yesterday 12:42

What do you think can happen, given that this person is obviously under a lot of stress, and not mentally strong? Does your place of work offer mental health support?

PearlWasp · Yesterday 12:59

Brownwithnopezazz · Yesterday 12:42

What do you think can happen, given that this person is obviously under a lot of stress, and not mentally strong? Does your place of work offer mental health support?

Yes they do. I do feel for this person as I think management puts a lot of stress on them/they also put pressure on themselves.

OP posts:
IPM · Yesterday 13:02

So aibu to feel upset that this is how I am treated at work for little to no reason?

You know the answer to this but the question is, what are you going to do about it?

I'd start by speaking to your line manager and taking it from there.

Brownwithnopezazz · Yesterday 13:03

In that case, it might be a productive thing to have a conversation about it with whoever is appropriate and can help, to recognise the issue. It’s useful to have things voiced, otherwise they go unadressed.
good on you for being the agent for change.

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