AIBU to think BIL should not get extra from late FIL's estate?

[boymummyoftwo]

Father in law passed away last year. FiL and MIL divorced not amicably. As such estate left to DH and 2 Brother in laws. One BIL still lived in the family home, however has been living with MIL since. He is not executor on will. Will states to be divided equally amongst DS. House is now sold, and last night DH got email from MIL saying that his brother should get an extra 20k for all his hard work cutting grass and clearing house and negotiating sale of the house. AIBU to think this is a bit out of order? MIL has put DH in very uncomfortable position and it's causing friction.

lol no

A bit extra would be a nice gesture, but £20K is ridiculous.

No not possible.

Nope. You abide by the terms of the will

Presumably he has been living rent free?

Actually, ignore me. I didn't read the op properly. Sorry!

I bet his rent free accommodation works out at a lot more than £20k.

Was he paying rent while living there? Or was him doing maintenance part of the deal?
Stick to the will.

Snap @Neolara!

Executor has to follow the legal will not MIL.

Can you see if your MIL needs any other jobs doing around the house? Happy to help with those rates.

You abide by what the will says, to the letter.

MIL needs to wind her neck in. I'd be very tempted to tell her just that to be honest.

MIL can suggest what she likes but your DH and his other brother don't have to agree to it. As others have said, BIL has likely been living either rent free or at a reduced rent, so he's already benefitted. Interesting that he's now dossing at MILs.

"So mum, it's really important for me and brother 2 that we abide by dad's wishes. And in the interest of maintaining good brotherly relationships for the rest of our lives, it's important to keep things equal so that nobody has any feelings of resentment, however small, that could fester. Brother 2 and I will talk to brother 3 to make sure he's comfortable with the division of labour that happeded after dad's death and we'll look to resolve it between us if he isn't"

"Will states to be divided equally amongst DS."

Well that's what legally needs to happen, and the Executor can be found liable if it doesn't get distributed that way.

Your MIL is basically telling DH to gift him £20k, right?

Well, she can give anyone £20k out of her pocket if she likes.

She doesn't get to legally or morally dictate what happens to money in other people's accounts.

If the deceased had wanted "Will states to be divided equally amongst DS." to happen, that's what they wrote.

Why is your MIL trying to re-write what happens? She has no right.

FIL and MIL were divorced so this is nothing to do with her.

Yup rent free for past 20 years

Very honestly id have fun with this...

your dhs should work out utilities and bills costs for the 23 yrs and say
"yes mummy. No objection in principle....i've looked at it and as moocher DB has already had an additional 40k (or whatever) from the estate (having had his council tax water mobile internet gas and electric as well as livong rent free for 23 yrs!) It means he only owes me and normal DB 10k each... we dont want to nickel and dime so we are happy to just write off his debt and split it 3 ways.

Separately a relatives house had to be sold and estate settled about 5 yrs ago it was well less than 10k all in amd they were paid professionals.

20 years rent free has surpassed £20k, the answer is nope

Who is the executor?

This!

If it was his home, what's the backstory re not making him an executor?

He’s had his extra already! I think MIL wants a slice of the pie!

Important to know who executor is. Some wills stipulate a fee for executors, I believe, to be deducted from estate proceeds before dividing up the remainder. Funnily enough in my recent experience that fee amounted to 20k and I think it was fair it went to my older sister.

Even ignoring two decades of rent-free living, and assuming that all of these jobs that he did were agreed as necessary and completed to a professional standard... why would he take it upon himself to do them without discussing with the others, rather than them getting three quotes for all jobs and agreeing together? Well, the executors would have needed to agree, and it was none of his business.

I mean, if it had been done on a common-sense informal basis, considering that he was there anywhere, and maybe if he'd asked to be reimbursed for a few sundry consumables (still cheeky, bearing in mind the free rent); but if you expect to be paid £20K for supposedly professional jobs, you seek clear permission and agreement from the decision-maker(s) who will be responsible for the bill before you start anything.

As it is, he's like one of those annoying squeegee people who collar you at red traffic lights, give your windscreen a cursory wipe and then demand money for 'services rendered'... but even they aren't hoping for anything near 20K!

I wouldn't even dignify her with a response.
Who the hell does she think she is trying to dictate her EX husbands will 🙄