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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to “counteract” friend’s review?

22 replies

UncommonFishwife · 06/07/2026 21:06

I went out for dinner locally with some friends over the weekend. The part of town we went to is known for independent restaurants and bars, with new ones appearing quite often. I haven’t always experienced the slickest of service in these places, but more often than not it’s been decent.

The group included my friends Matt and Jen, who only know one another through me. Jen is a very big fan of supporting new local businesses, will often like and share posts etc.. Matt is quite black and white about restaurants and bars - if they’re not up to scratch first time, there’s no second time. While I can imagine Jen saying “Let’s try Casatino again; maybe they were having teething troubles”, Matt would just think why bother when there are dozens of other places to try. (I’m not saying either approach is wrong, BTW.)

The place we went to is the kind of place where being able to see the food being cooked is part of the experience. However, the layout was completely wrong for it and you couldn’t actually see anything - it all happened in the kitchen and you basically had to assume they’d followed the process they were promoting. So that was a disappointment to begin with.

However, there were more practical issues with the experience. They offered five different starters, but had run out of all but one by 7pm. Also they forgot my main course, which, considering there were only two other tables on there at the time, was pretty poor. I ended up getting half of my main boxed up because I felt like an idiot sitting there eating while everyone else had finished.

Anyway, Matt left a two-star review addressing all these issues. Jen has seen it and is up in arms about it. She’s saying “The poor restaurant; they’re so new and they’ve had this terrible review, it’ll be awful for them” - and then said to the rest of us “We all need to leave five-star reviews to counteract it”.

I’ve said I don’t want to do that. Jen is acting disappointed with me, saying it’s a new business and deserves a chance. I’ve said I have no intention of leaving a bad review, but don’t think it deserves a good one either. I don’t feel Matt has been picky - all the issues are real. But frankly I’m not that fussed, and would rather not review it at all; I just won’t go there again.

Obviously Jen is entitled to leave any review she likes, but I don’t see why I should be expected to do the same. And given that the problems were real, I don’t think it’s Matt’s review that’s going to be their big issue going forward.

OP posts:
FionnulaTheCooler · 06/07/2026 21:08

Why would you leave a 5 star review after that shitshow? That's mental. I'm with you, I just wouldn't bother going back.

DameOfThrones · 06/07/2026 21:12

Christ I wouldn’t give any of this another thought OP.

Jen doesn’t sound as though she has much to keep her busy in life.

Brawsome · 06/07/2026 21:12

I’ve seen a lot of posts lately, stating that despite service, accommodation etc being severely flawed, reviews have to be 5 star or the poor businesses will suffer. Which makes the whole point of leaving reviews utterly pointless. I’m with you OP and Jen is being ridiculous.

UncommonFishwife · 06/07/2026 21:33

I’ve seen the same, @Brawsome. There was one where the OP was getting stick for warning people that a restaurant didn’t have an alcohol licence. Apparently she was trying to put people off going 🙄

Wouldn’t the venue still have been unlicensed even if people hadn’t known before arriving?

OP posts:
ShakyBake · 06/07/2026 21:38

Leave a bad review and screenshot it to Jen 😄

UncommonFishwife · 06/07/2026 22:15

ShakyBake · 06/07/2026 21:38

Leave a bad review and screenshot it to Jen 😄

😆😆

OP posts:
saraclara · 06/07/2026 22:20

Ask her if she'd be leaving five stars of it was her main that was forgotten and that had to be taken home in a bag.

Waffleswithhothoney · 06/07/2026 22:21

Even if you were to give it a neutral review what could you say?

”I can’t review the starters because only 1 of 5 was available. I also can’t really review my main course because they forgot it completely and it came out as the others finished. Would have loved to see the wood fired oven in use but the big wall in the way blocks it. Apart from all of that it’s 5 stars fantastic!”

Dopsicle · 06/07/2026 22:33

A place with uniform 5* reviews actually rings my alarm bells. Because it seems fake. I actually read reviews and I'd rather see a more realistic pattern. Details of what actually happened (good and bad) are what help me make my mind up. Sometimes even an amazing place has a few one-star reviews which turn out to be unreasonable, or for a different place with a similar name, or just written by outright nutters. But at least it shows that nobody is censoring the reviews.

Being dishonest isn't helping anyone in the end. And it's not fair on the places which actually do bring you your main course in time for you to eat it.

UncommonFishwife · 06/07/2026 22:40

I’m glad it’s not just me!

I also think a good review should mean something. If we give five stars to all and sundry, how do we reward/praise places that genuinely do deliver?

OP posts:
NotAnotherScarf · 06/07/2026 22:40

How many people run pubs, restaurants, cafes etc and don't have a clue about the industry they have gone in to. I've seen it so many times...the cafe owners who have Saturdays off and leave part time 6th form students in charge, the publican who spends all day drinking and buying others drinks.

This place clearly falls into this category, how the hell can you forget a main course and how can you run out of starters by 7?

If you leave a crap review you are actually doing them a favour, they will have a chance to realise that what they are doing isn't good enough and either improve it or change it completely. Unfortunately, I doubt they will even take it on board.

anothernewname6789998212 · 06/07/2026 22:50

This weird virtue signalling “we must never say anything bad about a small business” nonsense needs to stop.

Times are tough for us all, not just business owners, and this bizarre mindset that it’s totally acceptable to take another persons hard earned cash, give them a terribly made coffee that has the wrong milk in and is only half full and we should all just smile politely and accept it because “they are just a lil business doing their best 🥰” is a big fat no from me

Vitrolinsanity · 06/07/2026 23:24

I’m not a fan of leaving a review unless I’ve spoken to the business at the time and been summarily dismissed. Jen really needs to get over it.

socialdilemmawhattodo · 06/07/2026 23:45

Dopsicle · 06/07/2026 22:33

A place with uniform 5* reviews actually rings my alarm bells. Because it seems fake. I actually read reviews and I'd rather see a more realistic pattern. Details of what actually happened (good and bad) are what help me make my mind up. Sometimes even an amazing place has a few one-star reviews which turn out to be unreasonable, or for a different place with a similar name, or just written by outright nutters. But at least it shows that nobody is censoring the reviews.

Being dishonest isn't helping anyone in the end. And it's not fair on the places which actually do bring you your main course in time for you to eat it.

This for me. A couple of years ago we went to a famous chef burger chain near a big London museum. Hope this is as obscure as i meant it to be, not. It was rubbish, most particularly for the veggie burger. The meat burger was served at least fresh and that eating party told me their's was OK. So I left a review. Poor. I noticed the next reviews, all 5×, said things like 'loved my food, Mario was brilliant'; next review Mario was great etc. You get the picture. I reported, apparently no issue. So report but for those looking at reviews, please look at trends. I would never eat at famous (scottish) chef burger chain again. We eat elsewhere. I pay the bill, I want good food, of its type.

VivX · 07/07/2026 00:07

Jen sounds a teeny bit bonkers. I am all for supporting independent businesses but they still have to deliver the service, which 1/5 starters and a forgotten main meal is not.

Retireornot · 07/07/2026 01:07

I’m Team Matt. Jen is crazy.

IglesiasPiggl · 07/07/2026 01:15

I hardly ever leave reviews for anything, it's not a civic duty. Just don't write one.

ruolocretaw · 07/07/2026 01:44

Jen needs to mind her own business. I rarely leave reviews myself, but I'm a big advocate for honesty in reviews. Otherwise what's the point? Reviews aren't there to help businesses. Reviews are meant to tell other potential customers about your experience, good or bad. If a business can't stay open because of a few bad reviews, then they aren't meant to be open, in my opinion.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 07/07/2026 02:08

Jen is an idiot and needs to mind her business. She can write whether review she wants and stop demanding what others do.

Shoxfordian · 07/07/2026 04:57

Jen sounds like she gives people and places too many chances, completely reasonable to not leave a great review for this place

UncommonFishwife · 07/07/2026 08:15

Shoxfordian · 07/07/2026 04:57

Jen sounds like she gives people and places too many chances, completely reasonable to not leave a great review for this place

I think her heart is in the right place. But ultimately I agree that there’s no point in pretending something was a positive experience.

OP posts:
Hawksie · 07/07/2026 08:37

Used to work in a place that had reviews on the better side of what it should have had... We used to get an hour's extra pay to come in for the sole purpose of just leaving fake reviews and naming ourselves (as we got a minimal bonus for every time we were mentioned).

Leave a review or don't but all places will have staff or cronies leaving inflated reviews anyway regardless so it doesn't really matter if you don't.

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