AIBU to be worried about my 13-month-old’s development?

[Ziga]

I wonder if anyone could help or let me know what they think. My DD is 13 months old. She doesn’t:

• point
• wave
• have any meaningful words
• hold eye contact at all. She avoids it up close and it’s very fleeting across a room

i had a HV appointment today and she said “she’s fine” and I was “anxious”.

does anyone have any thoughts on if this warrants a follow up with a GP?

hopeful bump!

Focus on what she can do. Mine was a late talker but an expert climber - I think they develop at different rates in different areas.

Would writing a list of what she can do be helpful?

I would be concerned about all of those things and I would make an appointment with the GP

A mother's instinct is a marvellpus and accurate thing.

GP and request a referral.

IME HV's are crap.

Children develop in different ways OP. My ds at 13 months was a talented escape artist. Walking at 7 months, climbing stairs at 11 months and making a run for every open door at 13 months but he refused to say a word. Not even mama. Nothing.

He was 25 months before he finally said "key" meaning car key. I'd seen the GP and we were waiting for a hospital appt to find out what was wrong. I was really worried.

in the end they concluded he just didn't want to talk any sooner. After "key" more words came very quickly, and whole sentences. He talked constantly for a decade, then turned into a silent teen. Now he's back to talking and about to head off to uni.

Try not to worry too much, or to make too much of a fuss of it with her. Give her time to develop in her own way and praise the things she can do.

Those are similar concerns that we followed up on with our youngest. We started noticing at 13 months and got further advice at 16 months, via a drop in clinic held by Speech and Language. Obviously different areas may do things differently, but I would definitely speak to your GP.

@Ziga I am not an expert at all but my thoughts are:

• Have you had her hearing tested?
• Does she respond to her name – as in, look round when you say it?
• Does she play (with toys, boxes, kitchen utensils, anything)?

I have three DC: one was a late talker (and v early walker), one needed SALT intervention, and one talked very early and clearly. Actually it is the last one who is ND (in case that is your concern – though there are other things that may (or may not) be an issue for your DC). So that proves just nothing huh?

I agree with others tbh – see your GP and maybe ask for a referral, assuming hearing is OK – start with that if you don't already know (sorry, mine are adults so I am not up to speed with early years hearing assessments and whether they are carried out automatically).

We’ve actually had her hearing tested in March. Thank you all.. I’ll phone the GP tomorrow.

She turns round sometimes when I call her name. She doesn’t nod her head for yes or shake her head for no.

I feel a bit better just being told I’m not being anxious!

Thank you - how is your youngest now?

You are not being anxious and it is unprofessional of the HV to say that to you.
For context my eldest had very few words at 16 months - I would say maybe 12 at the most. He was 2 1/2 by the time he was fully speaking. However his receptive language was excellent - he could follow exactly what we were saying to him and if I said 'get your shoes and take the blue cup' he would do that.
Can your little one follow what you say do you think?

What does she do? Particularly in terms of communication...will she bring something to show you? Does she like looking at a book together? Does she seek you out for a cuddle if she's upset/scared? Is she wary of strangers? Does she smile/laugh? Does she do things to make you smile or laugh? Does she play peek-a-boo?

Now you've got me worried as my 16mo doesn't really have any meaningful words!

She smiles and laughs a lot, and likes peekaboo and other games like that. I really don’t think she can understand what I’m saying to her. She claps. Very limited babbling though

She definitely seeks me out for comfort when scared. Just today she was scared at a noise from a toy and came to me instantly. But she doesn’t bring me things to show me.

I have an autistic child (I assume that's what you're worried about given the things you've listed) and I think you're wrong to be anxious and right to be observant. There is nothing you've listed that you should be panicking about now, and jumping the gun to get interventions before they are needed isn't always helpful.

Pointing isn't delayed until 18 months. While most children say first words between 10 and 15 months, these are also not delayed until 18 months.

At this point, you want to be able to see:

• your child recognising and responding to their name and other familiar words (like mummy, daddy, favourite toys, pets). They would look towards the object you name - not all the time, don't over test
• holding up things to show or otherwise to share their interest in the object. This is distinct to asking for help. From memory, you should see this by 15 months

With eye contact and autism, it's not actually so much about whether a child makes it or for how long. It's whether they use it communicatively with you. So my DS pointed, but never looked to see if we had seen the same thing (he would repeat the word over and over until we said it, because he didn't understand us looking at the object, then him, meant we had seen it to). But, as I said above, this wouldn't be something to worry about in a 13 month old if your DC isn't doing it.

What prompted you to get the hearing test?

His 16th birthday is this weekend. He still doesn't point, or talk, he finally understood what waving was about 6 months ago, and now uses it as a "I'm sick of you, go away now" command, as well as reciprocating when others wave at him 😂.

That initial appointment led us down a long path to diagnosing a severe learning disability, autism and epilepsy, but that was absolutely the worst case scenario, and your little one being so young may well be taking their own time to pick things up, but even if that isn't the case, early intervention can be fantastically helpful.

My health visitor said I shouldn’t worry about my child who didn’t have any words at that age and didn’t really talk properly until he was 3. He improved a lot and while there are some issues he’s much better than I feared and about to go to regular primary one on schedule.
I wouldn’t panic as it’s really hard to tell at this age. You can end up making yourself more anxious through google searches.