To wonder if anyone's got to this point - work and mental health?

[Chefpig]

Im tired and angry all the time. Or just plain depressed. Work keep piling more on despite me raising concern about my workload/lack of staff to take work on and I have severe anxiety because of this. I've also got issues with noisy neighbours, so going home to relax after a stressful day is impossible.

I frequently think about ending my life. I dont think I'd go through with it though but I do think about how I'd do it.

The anxiety, stress and depression is crippling. At weekend, I couldn't stop crying. I felt like a heavy weight was tying me down.

I live alone and have very few friends.

I don't know what to do.

Surely looking for another job would be the first thing to try?

Get yourself signed off sick so you can get your head sorted.

This is awful to read. I’m sorry you’re going through such a bad time. It sounds like you might need to see your GP to get signed off from work for a little while.

Please get am urgent GP appointment to discuss how you're feeling, and to get signed off sick.

This sounds so hard. Start with getting signed off and recover. Once recovered look for new place to live. I've been where you are it's horrible but try to be positive, look after your well being don't soldier thru and you will get better. Take care xx

Do you get sick pay? Have you spoken with your GP?

What would happen if you said you can’t do the additional work?

So sorry to read this. Re noisy neighbours, do you rent or own? The work stuff aside, noisy neighbours can badly affect mental health. Can you sign off sick and start making plans to get away from them?

That is awful.

Get gp appointment urgently, signed off sick - you ARE sick. And therapy or meds if being off doesn't release the symptoms.

Then a frank conversation with HR and occupational health about a reasonable return to work or look for a new job.

I'm sorry.

Take a week off sick or get signed off with stress. You're in a good position to hold them to account if you've flagged the workload many times and not had any help.

Look for another job - contact a recruiter who can advise whats out there for your skills etc... it should hopefully reassure you that you will find something and there is a future beyond your current workplace.

Get to the Dr's - I doubt you'd be thinking about ending your life just over your job; so please go and talk about the other things in life making you feel so low and start some medication to help you.

Please make an urgent appointment to see your GP so they can support you with your mental health and also refer you to the Mental Health Crisis Team for further help.

But right now I would take some sick leave and when you see your GP they can sign you off for longer if needed.

It will give you time to get better and look for a new job.

Speak to your neighbour as well about the noise.

In the short term earplugs and noise cancelling headphones can help you get some much needed rest.

As for your employer is/when you get back to work I would make it clear to them that your current workload is not manageable and that it caused your sick leave and stop doing any extra work. Just do what you can realistically do during your work hours.

I've been desperately looking but keep getting rejected. My CV and applications are really good. I used to work in HR/recruitment and know the standard, but there are so many applications for a single job that I'm not even getting to interview stage.

I was off for two weeks last year with mental health issues so I'm very reluctant to do it again for fear of being seen as flaky and unreliable, especially when there have been redundancies lately. Im a very high performer and well respected but I still worry.

Thinking about ending your life/not wanting to be around is part of depression. It’s a sign things are not okay and needs to be addressed. Agree you need to go to the doctor asap. Is there scope to move job? How do you like to spend time with people? Would some kind of interest based activity be enjoyable eventually? Your people are out there but you need to be well enough to find them. It’s a bit of a cycle. If it feels impossible and that it can’t get better that is what depression feels like. This can improve. Not easy but please know it can get better.

I did mention my workload in my one to one and my manager acknowledged it. We're a much smaller team due to cuts so everyone is going through the same. I'm also a manager so I feel more pressure to not go off sick. I feel like I need to support the more junior members of the team. Higher management keep reducing the size of the team in ways other than cuts, eg redeployment, and so us left in the same team massively feel the strain. I'm doing tasks in my daily workload that aren't my remit, but so is everyone else who isn't higher management. It's crazy.

@Chefpig would you find it hard to actually work in your capacity and not take on extra work

feel free to say yes to them but not actually work on them

I know it might sound passive aggressive but seems logical to me .. what’s going to happen if you work calmly your 8 hours a day , on a normal pace, no rushing and no stress … what’s going to happen to you, you think?

I really feel you OP. So sorry to hear you’re struggling. Especially worrying that you think about how you’d end your life. It’s definitely depression talking and life is really worth living although Im sure hard to see right now.

If it’s of any help, I feel like I am in the same boat as you. I have been there multiple times, and through antidepressants have been able to shift it many times too. I wanted to be off them, to give it a try, 6 months down the line now and I am miserable again. I’ll share my story so you hopefully don’t feel alone. Feel free to dm me if you want to chat.

My situation is also high performing at work, but so chronically burnt out. All my friends have moved away and I have no family close. It’s so lonely and exhausting, so I am constantly sad & frustrated. I also don’t enjoy the house I live in as it’s a never ending project and I’m just exhausted of dealing with it, so I know how it feels not being able to relax af home. It stresses me out to no end having my money tied up. I dream of moving back to a small rented flat in London.

Recently I started going to the gym again, doing some zumba like classes with happy music and swimming. It helps a bit. Are you doing any exercise?

I’d also say, go to the GP and get some antidepressants or therapy.

Hang in there xxx

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. Please get an urgent GP appointment and ask to be signed off for at least a couple of weeks to give yourself some headspace.

It sounds like you are suffering from burnout. You need time to re-regulate and a clear plan when you return of how your workplace is going to ensure that the pressure doesn't mount up again (e.g. hiring more staff, lowering targets, setting clearer or more realistic expectations, reducing responsibilities). Don't worry about other staff. You need to put yourself and your health first.

I wish you all the best.