To think calling friends boring is rude

[iguanasfordays]

I have a friend in a wider friendship group who has, on the last few occasions we've been out for food/drinks, said things like, "Wow, this conversation is so boring!" and, "If someone overheard us right now they'd think we were so boring."

The conversations have just been what I think is normal friend chat - work, family, holidays, houses, etc. For example, the first time she said it a friend had mentioned a new bra she'd bought, which led to a conversation about bras people like. Not groundbreaking conversation obviously but we had only been on that topic for 5 mins tops!

We all just laugh it off and change subject, but it leaves me feeling a bit silly and wondering if I’m boring company or whether she's actually being a bit rude.

AIBU to think that's just normal conversation between friends? Or are other people having much better convos?!

I’m not gonna lie, I find chatting about kids, day to day family life and work extremely boring and mind numbing. I always try and steer the conversation elsewhere. But I’d never out loud say “this is so boring”, I agree with you that it’s a very rude thing to say.

Talking about bras does sound pretty boring tbh.

What kind of things do you try to steer to out of curiosity?

It doesn't sound like she is calling you boring. She is part of the conversation she is calling boring. I think me and my friends had said similar things when we were getting to around late 20s early 30s. Life seems to switch from exciting conversations about who's dating who, drunken antics, exciting travels to really mundane stuff. Which is fine, it's just falling into a more settled adult life from the excitement of youth where it's all new and exciting.

You could say “ok impress us with your stellar conversation then”

she sounds blunt and abit rude

Anything other than our kids or work. Literally anything 🤣🤣

When I saw my friends for a meal a couple of weeks ago we spoke about: upcoming hen do’s, reminisced on past hen do’s, Love Island, the football, new local restaurants people have tried, good gossip on people who have ever been a bitch to any of us, hair, the gym, horror films, funny memories. Then we spent an age trying to organise the next meet-up/bottomless brunch.

How old are you guys? What does she want to talk about?

She does sound rude but maybe struggles with small talk?

You could be right with this, as we’re all early 30s and we became friends in our early 20s, so life has definitely changed! I wonder if she’s noticing the transition in our conversation more than we are.

It’s rude to just come out and say it’s boring, and the right approach is to just move the subject onto something more interesting. That said, I can see how a group of very close old friends would just say it was boring.

Like many above, I find constant kid and work chat repetitive and boring in the main. I’d much rather hear about what people have been reading or watching on TV and what they thought of it, travel, stuff that’s going on in the world, etc.

This.
Kids or work are an absolute no go

She's including herself in that though isn't she - so I think it's probably more an attempt at self-deprecating humour. My friends and I often make these sort of "wow, haven't we changed" comments when we talk about air fryer recipes or needing to go to bed early 😂

Thanks, this makes me feel better as we definitely cover stuff like that too!! I think because we usually haven’t seen each other in 2-3 months we also cover some of the “catching up” things which I can definitely see are more boring and could be kept more brief!

We do this the my god where getting old when where talking about how exciting it is to get a new hoover

Its subjective though because I love hearing about everyone's kids but would be bored shitless talking about love island and the gym

I'm the same. I've no interest in love island or whatever else you're watching on TV. I don't care what celebs are doing and despise football. I love to hear about how people's children are doing, share tips on parenting, talk about the tough times for solidarity/emotional support and laugh about the cute and hilarious things children do.
I also enjoy hearing about how people are getting on at work, new developments in the field, promotions new projects etc.

Oh I agree it’s subjective.

I just wouldn’t outright call someone boring mid conversation.

Definitely agree it’s subjective! I’ve just been thinking of times when everyone has watched a show and I haven’t and how it can be boring to listen to, but usually only lasts 5 mins or so then we will move on to something else. It would have to be dragging on and on for me to pipe up and say it’s boring haha

Being bored by a conversation is totally normal and happens to all of us every now and then, but to actually say so out loud is downright rude.

As a one off or when the conversation is genuinely about a topic that is as dull as dishwater, it could be funny if said in the right way, but to keep saying it is crass.

She’s rude. Your group should stop inviting her out with you. She’s a frenemy. The worse kind.

I think talking about Love Island is far more boring than talking about kids and work.

I have several groups of friends and some of them I find more dull than others.
I am not very interested in clothes, make up. Celebrities, diets, children's schools/routines/sleep, house prices and some seem to discuss these a lot.
The discussions I enjoy are boring to others. I like discussing music, politics, friends careers, drama series, books, a bit of gossip, planning weekend away, art, football, athletics, festivals, managing relationships, sex, dog behaviour, comedy.

"Wow, this conversation is so boring" sounds a lot like "you're all boring me".
As PPs have said, plenty of people have a laugh together and bond over how much they've changed over the years. In fact, it's a common internet meme. But it's usually expressed better than "this conversation is so boring". Is she not very articulate or witty?

.