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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have complained to line manager?

5 replies

Annonn2 · 05/07/2026 22:03

I work term time and an assistant is always rude to me. I ignore her as best as possible and remain professional but last week she crossed the line too much for me to ignore. She had an outburst that was witnessed by others.

I was going to leave it as she came at the end of the day and gave me a half assed (sp?!) apology which you could see she didn’t really mean and was just covering herself. I left it then and forgot about it but next day my friend overheard her in the canteen laughing about how rude she was to me and she’s not worried at all about me complaining as she apologised to me. My friend came to ask me what happened and I explained what she did. I was upset hearing she’s laughing about it so I wrote an email to her line manager explaining the incident.

I have now come to know that the line manager is asking the person who witnessed the incident to report back her account of what happened and she CC’d in HR too plus a senior manager. A part of me is terrified as I don’t like conflict and this is now been playing on my mind all weekend. The person who witnessed the incident forwarded the line managers email to me to let me know she’s asking about it but she’s given no details of what she reported back. This lady who witnessed it and the other women who was rude to me are friends. Obviously I know she’ll back her friend. This is why I just ignore incidents as it causes me stress. I don’t want to be going into meeting discussing all this. My working contract was just about to end in 2.5 weeks! Now I have to deal with this stress. Any advice please?

OP posts:
innominate · 05/07/2026 22:40

It isn’t your stress to own. You’ve reported an incident as it happened and now the stress sits with the assistant to try to wriggle out of it.

No punishment may be given but it should stop her from being rude to you in the future.

Carry on as normal. It’s out of your hands.

ExtraOnions · 05/07/2026 22:46

Why did the person who witnessed the incident forward the line managers email to you?

Annonn2 · 05/07/2026 22:47

ExtraOnions · 05/07/2026 22:46

Why did the person who witnessed the incident forward the line managers email to you?

I’m not sure. Maybe to make me aware they investigating it? Or maybe she meant to forward to her mate but sent to me by mistake. I have no idea

OP posts:
Annonn2 · 05/07/2026 22:48

innominate · 05/07/2026 22:40

It isn’t your stress to own. You’ve reported an incident as it happened and now the stress sits with the assistant to try to wriggle out of it.

No punishment may be given but it should stop her from being rude to you in the future.

Carry on as normal. It’s out of your hands.

Thank you x

OP posts:
DameOfThrones · 05/07/2026 22:54

Why didn’t you report to your own line manager?

Either way, your friend needs to stop forwarding emails to you, as they could get themselves in trouble.

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