Hi all, I posted previously in relationships about my husband's gaming addiction and him appearing to have an emotional affair via the game. I deleted the post as I felt it was too outing. I was given lots of advice, but mainly told, yes, it looked an emotional affair with a woman abroad and to get my ducks in a row.
Quick recap: he's been playing this online pay to win game for several months. In the last three months it's taken over his life and has changed his behaviour. He's irritable, flies off the handle at the slightest thing, and is generally just a different person altogether. About two months ago I asked him what was going on with us as he has stopped all intimacy for about three weeks. He blamed me and said I was the one not being intimate, so I upped my game, made a point of intimacy, suggested toys, relaxed, wore what he wanted, two weeks later he said it was too much. I tried intimacy once again and he rejected me, saying he was sore.
We had a holiday and he was chatting and gaming all the time. When I challenged him, he disagreed. We had a huge argument when we got home, again everything was my fault, even in the argument I wasn't letting him speak and I was to shut up. He said I was jealous of the game and his chatting. I offered him to leave or stay and try to work things out. He chose to stay.
For Two weeks, I'm walking on eggshells. He's really aggressive when we argue to the point he scares me. I'm ill with worry and about 4kg down from anxious energy. Other times, he's completely normal, but still gaming all the time.
Since I last raised this he said none of the family sit with him. I said it was because he's gaming all the time. I said I would make more of an effort and have been sitting with him, but all the conversation is one way and he just stares at the TV when he answers me, every now and again glancing over.
I personally, think he's depressed. He's irritable, only shaves every two weeks, only looks after himself - getting himself food and drink. Barely moves from the sofa after work and at weekends, never has any reason to leave the house other than work, and has put on weight. His job is a source of constant stress.
For my own and kids health and wellbeing, I think I need to ask him directly if he wants to separate. If he says no, then I need to demand he seeks treatment for his depression and or gaming addiction.
So my question is AIBU reasonable to ask, in this situation what ducks should I be getting in a row?