AIBU to feel upset by comments about disability rights at work?

[constantlyoverthinking00]

I had cancer 4 years ago and when I returned to work I had a few reasonable adjustments. I work in retail so one was use of a chair if I felt tired and the other was shorter days (mornings). Without these adjustments I would have struggled.
Some of my colleagues were resentful towards me because of them and I was subjected to a lot of hurtful comments.
I ended up leaving and have recently started at another job. Yesterday there was a conversation going on about disabled people during lunch and one colleague said - so disabled people get more rights than normal people you get discriminated for being normal these days, its better to be abnormal.
As someone classed as disabled under the Equality Act it hurt to be called abnormal. Not sure if I am just over reacting or being over sensitive due to past experiences in the workplace.

Having done some research on this it seems that a large proportion of the workforce feels that reasonable adjustments aren't reasonable- and either the disabled person gets an easier ride, or they have to do more work because of them. I think if an employer is truly going to be inclusive they have to do work on culture- and how having a positive and supportive workplace improves and increases both productivity and happiness in the workforce.
I would suggest that you tell your line manager what was said, and how it made you feel- and that doing some work on supportive cultures may be a good investment in the workplace....

It's because accommodating disabilities actually takes some effort from the employer. Very easy to put the pride flag on the home page and that's that box ticked. The work will still get done as before.

You would hope that someone returning from having cancer would have more empathy from their colleagues. Imagine, the outrage of a chair to sit on.
But any positive approach from organisations and employers is a good thing.

Ah, so we should only strive towards the lowest bar possible, then? If one section of society is discriminated against, then instead of tackling that problem, we use it as justification that ALL discrimination is just ridiculous oversensitive snowflakes who need to shut up and accept their inferiority?

We are talking about Equity, unlike simple equality (treating everyone the same way) equity is putting systems or tools in place so ppl with different starting points have an equal chance to succeed.
Not much to ask really is it!💕

I would absolutely agree I would expect some empathy- but I wouldnt be surprised if they weren't supportive. Lots of disabled patients tell me horrifying stories about workplaces either for people who have long term of shorter term disabilities. Really the culture of how we treat those with disabilities in the UK has to change at a societal level- and considering how many seem to think they have extra money (pip) thrown at them, and better conditions than able bodied people it's horrifying....

What a dense statement regarding disabled people being left out. It's difficult to be included when the very basics make it difficult to be included. Whether it's taking a train or a plane, accessing a building or being supported in education or work there's no shortage of evidence showing exclusion taking place on a daily basis.

Let's not forget the general snotty behaviour and attitudes from the ignorant and mean who resent anyone getting anything at all, that they're not getting.

Unfortunately, in my experience, only a very small percentage of healthy, able-bodied people actually understand or even care about disability. Some of them are sympathetic - often in a patronising, pitying kind of way - but most just assume that you're lazy and/or making a fuss over nothing.

It's a cliche, but it's absolutely true that they want the perceived benefits, but they don't want the disabilities that go along with them. There genuinely are a lot of people who would complain bitterly at the NHS giving an expensive electric wheelchair to somebody who desperately needs it, rather than being truly thankful that they themselves have absolutely no need of it and thus wouldn't actually want it cluttering up their house.

In fact, they don't even comprehend that what, to them (being able-bodied) would indeed be a lovely privilege and a brilliant benefit, is actually a lifeline and an attempt to redress the balance to make a disabled person's life slightly less shit than theirs is.

@constantlyoverthinking00 if you worked shorter days did you therefore get paid less?

If you did then they were out of order but if you were paid the same then you can see why it would put their noses out of joint.

I work with someone who has had a lot of time off sick with fatigue and who now works (and is paid) part time (teacher) BUT... she doesn't have to attend any after school meetings, refuses to do any of the additional work (updating schemes of work etc...), no tutor group, moans like merry hell if they ever get given cover. Its the rest of us lumbered with the extra which does cause resentment.

Yes no one wishes to be disabled or have cancer etc... but its helpful to see things from both sides.

I can honestly say if someone was returning to work after cancer and had a slow introduction back to their usual hours I would not resent the fact they were paid as per usual.

Pointing out the person who you think is taking the mickey, cannot be used, if so, to justify treating others badly.

I think the problem is that people can't understand the challenges of having a disability and therefore can't understand the rationale for reasonable adjustments etc. They simply can't imagine what they (or someone close them) haven't experienced. That's the reality.
I would also say that there is now an increase in people asking for a variety reasonable adjustments and employers and managers struggle to cope. I have struggled if I am honest. Some of the things I've been asked are so hard. One person said they couldn't be interviewed for a promotion due to anxiety so wanted to be appointed directly to the role as an adjustment. Without a thought for the other applicants. Another wanted to be given an indefinite wfh when we had to retain a shift presence on site in the office, again hard to square that with the rest of the team who'd have to increase on site hours to cover.
So I think that there's some entrenched views that are hard to shift. A small number of folks who are unreasonable and then everyone gets tarnished with that brush.
To be honest this is played out in other areas (racism, sexism etc). I am not sure how to solve it !

Obviously that’s a really twattish thing to say and they shouldn’t have said it. I do wonder if they’ve been burnt in the past though, ‘reasonable adjustments’ at my work means other people do more work than you. It causes resentment.

I don't think it's helpful to get caught up in the language there, OP. Not everyone is an eloquent speaker. It doesn't sound like he meant abnormal in the sense of "weird".

The issue of accommodations is increasingly difficult and I think will probably continue to escalate. When something, like say being allowed to sit, is not allowed for some, but a few can do it, it starts to look to many like an arbitrary thing. If it is ok for George, who can't stand for long, why not for Maria who is also tired? It feels deeply unfair to people especially if it means they carry more of the work burden and pay is the same.
That's what he was really saying.

Not over sensitive to be told you have some sort of advantage when you are struggling just to get in to work every day.

It's not just purely about hours, though, but how much you're able to do when at work. Plus, there are always some perfectly able-bodied people who slack, call in sick when they aren't and continually work much less hard than others do (whether able-bodied or not).

Even when everybody is able-bodied and willing to put the effort in, you're always going to have some jobs that some do and others don't: whether it's the taller people putting things on and getting things down from higher shelves; stronger people moving things that weaker employees struggle with; a pregnant employee avoiding various duties that cause her a lot of discomfort and/or could endanger her baby and leaving them for others; the elderly employee leaving whizzing up and down ladders to the youngsters etc.

I wonder where we draw the line in society with the prevailing opinions of able-bodied people?
Do we despise disabled people for being paid the same for doing fewer hours?
Do we despise disabled people for being paid the same for doing the same hours but not being able to achieve as much in that time?
Do we despise disabled people for not doing paid work at all because they simply aren't capable of it, and living off benefits instead?
Whichever we choose, there's a clear theme developing here...

I suppose we could not despise anyone .
But I think it is always going to be tricky when people see others getting the same pay for less work, especially if it means putting more work on the others.

Tbh I don't think disability can ever be treated like racial or sexuality questions. It's really different. It does make a material difference to work. I have one employee I hired with a disability. It makes a difference to how effective he is, both in terms of more work for other staff, and the work he does for clients. It's actually quite difficult to know how to draw a line where he is ineffective in essential ways. Or how to deal with other employees feelings (especially since he doesn't take care of his disability well.).

All workers deserve fairness, no one group deserves "extra" fairness, even if they have to contend with something like a disability .

Not everyone thinks that way though sadly... (hence my point)

Go back and read a pp’s explanation of equity V equality - or just look it up.

Everyone seems to (rightly) go on about stopping sexism, misogyny, homophobia,

I hope you don't think they mean it ? Because as you note :

ableism and disabled people are yet again always left out.

Which isn't actually true. As long as it doesn't involve any money. As soon as you start talking ramps, desks, specialist equipment see previous.

The person who said that has a disgraceful attitude. One day they might be grateful for 'extra' rights.

Well you aee it all the time on here all the posters claiming they know people getting disabillity benefits who abdolutley shouldnt be in their opnion.

Hopefully it's an unusually extreme view, but I'm reminded of the thread from a little while back where OP - who was disabled herself and helped other disabled and/or vulnerable people to negotiate claiming their benefit and other entitlements - had an appalling acquaintance/neighbour/family member (I can't completely remember) who kept loudly declaring that disabled people who couldn't work full-time and fully support themselves should be sent off to special homes/workhouses, away from 'decent' society.

This gentlemen was then subsequently involved in a serious accident which left him needing to use a wheelchair for the rest of his life - and he was straight over to OP to ask for her help in claiming his entitlements........

It's so arrogant, isn't it? Even the HCP whom I see regularly don't fully understand (or even seem to care too much) about the extent of my disabilities; so the idea that somebody who's glanced at you in the street could confidently assert that is astonishing in its self-grandiosity.

Isnt it just
Im in the process of doing my sons PIP application as hes just turned 16 and is transtioning from DLA hes sevrerley autistic with severe learning disabillities and i have a huge amount of professional evidece to back it up
But the amount of people who think you csn just rock up to your GPs and tell them your depressed and or have anxiety
And the Gp writes a quick note that you czn use for " evidence " for PIP is laughable.