To want my fridge contents in a specific way on specific shelves?

[thesagarollson]

Kind of a bit light hearted but kind of not?

when I do my weekly shopping I like to put my stuff away in a certain order on certain shelves. For example yoghurts with desserts , butter and cheese and meat separately.

My husband thinks I am being over the top so when he puts it away he rebels and shoves it in anyway in any order which as you can guess winds me up .

Please tell me I am not being unreasonable.

My opinion is that if you want the domestic load shared, that means accepting that the sharer does things their way not yours. If you want to live alone, then yeah, you can have your shelves any way you want. If you live together, it’s his house and fridge too.

It depends. Do you see your husband as an equal partner with whom you share mutual love, trust and respect, or a child that you should train?

We have the same. An orderly fridge and cupboard makes it clear when you are running low on items.
Also, if you’re cooking it’s much faster if you don’t have to look for stuff.

Does he cook much? That’s what winds me up with DH. He empties the dishwasher, but doesn’t care where things go.

My DH does the shopping which I am really grateful for (neither of us like online shopping) so I put up with him shoving it in and re-arrange it when I have time. Or if I’m home when he gets back with it he leaves me to put it away so I can do it my way. And also chuck out anything old from the fridge as he will just shove everything in on top of old stuff.

Is he usually deliberately awkward?

Whoever does the cooking needs to know where to find things straight away. In our household, that's DH. He sometimes warns me I've put something in the wrong place!

You presumably think she should see him as the Master of the household who must be allowed to do exactly as he pleases with no debate whatsoever ?

You must have started drinking really early if you mistook "equal partner" as "master of the household".

Couldn’t be arsed with shit like this how bigs the fridge nothings going to get lost in there

to me it just goes anywhere
we’re all entitled to do things our own way but had to respect each other doing things differently no one has the trump card

An “equal partner” who must be obeyed, or else she is treating him like a child ?

No-one's unreasonable, you just do things differently 🤷‍♂️

To say he 'rebels' is BU lol.

You literally are meant to put things in specific places to avoid cross contamination and for temperature, my DP puts things in odd places and I just move them. Don't get me started on how he loads the dishwasher though!

I agree with @GasperyJacquesRoberts
There are plenty of MNers who believe everything should be done their way. The key thing is equality in any partnership.

This is a strange reply, OP is suggesting that she herself should be Master with no debate.

I know of if I lived alone my fridge would be like this, but I live with DH and two DC. There is general order to the fridge but I’m not militant, although raw meat must always be on the bottom shelf and I put yoghurts all together with closest use by dates at the front….
I also have my spice rack alphabetised

I like certain things on certain shelves so things like meat and yoghurt are lower down as the temperature is cooler so keeps them fresher/ safer better. DH is of the chuck it anywhere variety! It’s usually only me putting food away as I do the shopping but on the occasions he is there I’ll either say I’ll do the fridge stuff and you do the freezer or just rearrange it later!
I often end up rearranging the dishwasher too!! 😱

Raw stuff should go at the bottom (to reduce cross contamination risk), anything else is personal preference and your way is no more right than your husbands.

If you want it done a certain way, then do it yourself. You can't dictate that he does it your way, though. He's not a child who has to obey your commands.

As said above you’re in a partnership- dh cleans the cupboards every so often and organises the food so it’s easy to see what we’re out of then I get nagged for even pausing to figure out where something new might go! IMO it’s fine to lay down ground rules but have some flexibility- we don’t all think the same!!!

If you are going to be looking for something in a fridge when in a hurry, or when tired, it helps to have a known order.

It's a domestic fridge not a supermarket chilled warehouse. Surely no one's fridge is so vast that they won't find the butter, even if they are a bit tired?

It's a fridge, not a storage container.

I guess it comes down to who does most of the cooking, shopping etc and who cleans the fridge when needed.

If it’s nearly all you then you get the casting vote, I’d say. If it’s shared equally (including the thinking and planning) then it’s a discussion. If he’s mostly in charge of these things he can say.

If one person does all this work, it’s not fair for the other to say “oh well it’s my right to make it harder for you, as an equal partner”

Your fridge will prefer things arranged where it is best depending on the product. So really you both should put things away where they should go depending on the fridge and item you are putting away.
Get your manual out and go through it together.

He’s not asking to be obeyed - only the OP is.