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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel completely done with everything?

2 replies

darks1deofthemoon · 03/07/2026 08:57

I just feel done with everything.

I have 3 kids; a 7 year old daughter and twin 2 year old boys. My 7 year old is coming to that attitude-y, sassy age that I don’t know how to handle. My 2 year old boys just fight and trash the house even more. All I ever do is pick up things around the house and move them from room to room.

I put in a flexi work request to compress my hours; I now do 4 x long days so I can have a ‘day off’ with my kids. It also helps with childcare costs so we have one less day of nursery/wraparound care to pay for. But after working 4 long days when it comes to my day off my house is a tip and I spend most of the day trying (and failing) to do housework then feel guilty for not doing activities with my kids.

I have a good job but have been there for 11 years and it’s not particularly fulfilling any more but I can’t leave as its in a pretty niche sector and I would struggle to get the same pay/conditions/flexibility elsewhere.

My husband is pretty good practically but I don’t get much emotional support from him. His emotional awareness is zero. I also help him a lot with his business (the admin/invoicing/tax) and handle all of our household finances. We have a small pot of savings but mainly live paycheck to paycheck so money is always a worry. Like many other mums I also handle all of the kids ‘admin’ like appointments, school/nursery activities etc etc.

I’m not really sure why I’m posting this; I just feel so done with everything and have no satisfaction or fulfilment from life. We have a summer holiday to look forward to this month but the thought of preparing, packing etc for it is just exhausting. Along with trying to arrange my own annual leave around my daughter’s summer holidays. We have minimal support from family and I have a complicated relationship with my own parents.

Did anyone feel like this then it get better as the kids get older? I just feel like I’m swimming against the tide and keep getting pulled under.

OP posts:
Itsseweasy · 03/07/2026 09:05

I feel like these are completely normal/understandable feelings for the stage you’re currently at with toddlers - and twins no less!
You are doing amazingly well and there are definitely life stages where it feels purely like survival. But presumably things will improve slightly when the boys start school, so not too long to hang in there.
Apologies I don’t have any helpful advice in the meantime but it definitely will get easier as they grow.

Ffs22 · 03/07/2026 09:16

That sounds very hard. Could you afford a cleaner for a few hours a week, then use that “free day” to take the twins out . If not then can you and your dh spend an hour in the evening doing chores so it doesn’t build up.
Get shopping delivered if you don’t already to save time.
Ultimately I would try and reduce my hours even more-( 4 long days is a lot for someone in situation-even if it means cutting back more. Then go back to full time once kids are older, obviously this might not be an option depending on your employment.

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