Already worrying about summer holidays

[hallestar]

I get so stressed during the summer holidays. I have two dc but a big age gap - one is 5, the other 14. So very difficult to do things as a family. I will be working on/off during the holidays too so need to juggle that. We have one week away booked which I’m grateful for. But on my days off I just get so overwhelmed with what to do with the kids. I either try and take them out together which limits the options because there aren’t many age appropriate things I can do with both. Or I take the youngest out and leave teen to do his own thing (he’s generally happy with this but I can’t shake the guilt that I’m leaving him out and he’s doing bugger all). He has friends but is a very quiet kid and tends to spend a lot of time alone. In the past I’ve tried to book time off when youngest was in nursery to do stuff with teen but this is getting harder now that little one is at school and doesn’t go to nursery during the holidays.

Before anyone says it…I know we don’t have to have extravagant days out every day. There will be lots of days spent at home or locally. But also, it’s the holidays and I want to do nice things with them both. Dh has even less time off than me so there are lots of days where I’m with them both on my own.

Ive thought about maybe getting a cheap caravan by the sea or somewhere we can go for nice walks and just see new places. If anyone has any other ideas I’d be really grateful.

Bump

What does your teen actually like doing? Have you asked them for some specific things they want from the holidays other than the week away? If we know more about them maybe we can come up with some ideas for you

He’s very into sports and enjoys fitness - follows YouTube for workouts and so on. We go to the gym together quite a bit. He doesn’t have a lot of interest in days out or visiting new places which is something I do want to encourage as I think it’s important and something he’d probably enjoy once we did it. I just don’t want him spending the holidays alone in his room.

How about one chaotic day eg of zip lining or something else when your dh is off, and an evening of eg bowling to tick some boxes. Then as you say caravanning, the odd wooded walk- as you say you don’t have to fill it all and some time in his room but then also bribes to help you around the house so it s not too much. Could a relative have him over for a day out?

Hi, when my daughter was this age they was a summer camp advertised through our local council. It was £50 for a few nights away for her and others the same age as her. She met some friends there and a good time. Maybe look at your local council and see if something like this is available.

I get it. I find it quite stressful being stuck at home with mine but days out are so expensive and stressful in a different way! I can imagine that age gap is really tough.

I am going to try to get mine away for a change of scenery and while it won’t be relaxing a change is as good as a rest so they say!

Are there any holiday trips or sports camps you can send the teen on?

When my son was younger (tween/teen) there was an organisation that took them to Cornwall or Scotland for a week, and it was only about £25 more expensive than childcare for the week and it included all food and activities! He had a great time and usually went on a couple of these holidays a year. Only small groups as well, enough to fill a minivan. I still sent him even after he didn't need child care anymore as he wanted to go.

Lots of councils run sports and activity camps as well (non residential).

What sort of area of the country are you in OP - might help us with ideas?

I understand your pain as I also have teens and a 5 and 7 year old to contend with plus WFH over summer. I tend to structure the weeks so we go on one bigger day out a week e.g to a city miles away, sometimes that we’ve never explored before or to the seaside then two smaller trips out locally to things like the library, swimming, local museums or art galleries.

I make the teens come on the big days but don’t force the smaller ones, it’s up to them. We always go out places with DH at the weekend too. Two days minimum are spent at home so I can research/have meetings so DC play in the garden, do crafts and so on.

This is why AI is brilliant. Ask it to help you design a prompt to suggest days out over the holidays. Ask it to interview you about your children’s interests, your total budget for the whole holiday period and to recommend options for you. Tell it what transport you have access to and prefer and take it from there.

There may well be week-long sports club type things - kind of 9-5, bring a packed lunch , focusing on sports skills. Double benefit of learning something and socialising.

But I would find som.options and also ask him to come up with some suggestions for joint activities for him and his little sib that work for both? Like making/Painting something in the kitchen, or the garden if you have on e (they could make ice cream? paint a bird bath? )

He could teach the sib so e sporty skills? - how many catches in a row?

Can you double up wih the parents of pals of either? I used to like taki g one of the kids friends when we went out- it seemed to make it easier! Reciprocation was a bonus but it was worth it even if the other parents couldn't return the favour

It’s a funny age because he is a bit old for the type of organised holiday clubs and camps he used to do (the ones in our area are mainly geared towards primary age kids) but he still needs a bit of help managing his time.
There will be some days he is left to his own devices with me working and I know he will either stay in his room or the garden working out or he might go to the local park with his friends or alone. This is fine some of the time but I don’t want it to be his entire holiday. I like the idea of exploring new cities. It would be easier if my youngest was a bit older but I’ll do what I can.

Do you have a local junior rowing club by any chance? Ours takes on new kids for trials during the summer. He doesn't need experience of rowing and if he's already strong from the gym he's likely to be very good at it. DS had no experience of rowing, is not into sport otherwise but has loved it. It's great for team work and fitness.

Are there any DIY/organising type projects you can set your teenager to doing? You could dip in obviously and show a real interest. But having a defined task for those "in-between" days might be nice? For example, mine sanded and repainted a couple of garden benches, put together new play equipment for the younger siblings and made them a garden chalk board from scratch in the summer at about the same age. Obviously it took them a lot longer than it would do many adults, but help was given fun was had and lessons were learnt!

At 14 my dd was “working” at the music holiday camp teaching the little ones. At 14 there may be similar opportunities for teens helping out (usually unpaid but they don’t have to pay fees to attend)

I’d focus on his interests and build from there tbh. He likes working out? Can you get him some new equipment for variety? Rent him a rowing machine / treadmill for the summer for novelty. Find a 6 week online programme he could follow or book him some PT sessions

trips for a coffee / cake / pizza to break up a day or two. Any sporting events you could go to? Id probably focus on trying to do 2!or 3 things a week so you feel you’re doing ‘something’ and ticking boxes.

I have the same age gap with mine - but they’re now 27 and 19. Ask me how I coped?

dunno 🤷‍♀️ 😂