AIBU to resist replacing our old cars despite my mother-in-law's comments?

[ISO3456]

To be honest, we’ve had some bad luck recently with our cars…

This week our car broke down this week on the motorway with a snapped belt (£400 fix)

Only 2 months ago an engine light came on the other car (our main car). Both cars are >10 years old & both just over >100k miles t

Both situations were stressful as they were on the motorway & 1 year old in the car. We had to sit at side of motorway for about an hour. Imo just unfortunate events & bad luck

Now my DHs mum (MIL) is pushing us to get a new car. It’s her comments which have annoyed me most & I think I need a AIBU check

We’re in our mid 30s & have ~100k between us in investment ISA but only <2k actual cash. Infact we do owe still for our main car 3.5k.

She’s mentioned it a few times since breakdown #1 but this week her comments were “what’s the point in having all that money in the bank & driving around in broken down cars”

My opinion is that our investments aren’t “money in the bank’, instead it’s our future income or early retirement
if we had decided to buy 2nd homes or pay off our mortgage instead, it wouldn’t have been seen the same so why should the stocks

Since she’s been going on about it, DH now talking about cars.

Maybe I’m just out of touch. So looking for opinions

AINBU - MIL keep her nose out (and talk to husband about NOT getting a new car)

AIBU - you need to buy a new car

This isn’t to lecture as I didn’t know this until recently and my garage told me

But a cambelt going at 100k miles isn’t really bad luck. They have a limited lifespan after which they need replacement. A cambelt snapping on the motorway is dangerous and usually if it gets to the point it snaps it damages the engine.

If you’re only spending £300 a year on maintenance for such old cars are you doing enough maintenance? I have an old Volvo and think it will go on for a while but it’s needed things like brakes replacing etc.

You both wfh and have 4 vehicles? And none is really reliable? I mean you do you but I'm raising an eyebrow and I'm not related to you !

Her comments probably stem from concern about safety and reliability. That's a sign of love. It's not like she is nagging you to change car every year to keep up with the joneses. Could be a false economy to keep old cars runnning as they need constant repair. Why not trade in and get new cars - more efficient probably - on an HP scheme? And I agree with her - no point in 100k in bank and unreliable vehicles. You are saving for later while ignoring significant needs in the present.

Mine is 2 a year

Exactly. It's quite savvy to bung all you can into a S&S ISA and have very little in cash. I've never had any 'cash in the bank' other than my salary, everything is in equities compounding nicely. If I've needed extra cash quickly I've used zero % credit cards. If push really came to shove I'd sell some shares - it's not like it's tied up in a horribly illiquid property investment - but in 20-odd years I've not had to. If the OP's parents are happy to advance them a small loan then that's up to them, and again makes sense from the OP's perspective.

What doesn't make sense is having two vehicles you don't use festering away, just get rid of the campervan and the Eos.

Maybe I’m just less bothered by other peoples opinions (I don’t think it’s an assumption that underinvesting in your actual lifestyle to the point that your break down twice in a short period of time may be a worse idea than spending maybe £3k more on transport or having 1-2 vehicles instead of 4 - it’s an opinion. It’s a different opinion to the OPs opinion but I just think that’s fine. I don’t even have the same opinion as my own DH in loads of things, let alone the same opinion as our parents and kids). I’m comfortable chatting about money with people I’m close with. I understand not everyone is but I don’t understand why you don’t understand that other people are. The OP is interested in investments and is life-planning rigorously for early retirement and comfortable talking to parents about borrowing cash so it’s safe to assume money is an open topic for her - until someone else has a different opinion.

@FudgeFudy so OP keeps all her money tied up but then expects parents to have some spare cash lying around for them to use, so parents can miss out on having interest on that money

Over 10 years old and with a lot of mileage…I wouldn’t be keen on what could happen on the motorway with kids in the back tbh.

I do this. I’ve got a whole parade of 0% cards. Borrowing cash at 0% and investing cash at 8% is one thing when it’s from a credit card provider but a 0% loan from your mum in cash she could earn 8% on is quite another. It’s sensible to have some easily accessible money if you want to buy a campervan on short notice.

Yeah, Mat leave & buying a motorhome with the cash we had

We then went into Europe for 3 months travelling on a single way so been paying that off

Gone back to work now so can accumulate some again

First post nails it.

and I wouldn’t waste my breath on anyone who thinks ‘what’s the point of money if you drive an old car’. Having money gives you choices, once you have spent it, those choices are gone.

So long as your DH is on board, then a simple ‘that would be nice’ is all I would bother saying to MiL.

For what it’s worth, I earn plenty, have been very blessed with inheritance and drive a 2006 model with 167k on the clock. I look after it, have it serviced regularly by someone who knows what they are doing and says what a pleasure it is to work on a ‘real’ car.

Choices. I really value my choices and hope you do too. Don’t let someone who has no idea take those choices away from you , or even rob you of your contentment.

It's none of your MIL business so I would just ignore her.

I wouldn't replace until one of them regularly starting breaking down. When DH owned his car (he gets a work one now due to where he works) we always replaced it when it started to cost us a couple of hundred more than twice a year.

The motorhome we’ll use. Going away next week in the uk for a week, Scotland in a few weeks then Europe again start of August

EOS is gonna go. Was waiting for summer as it’s convertible so need to get moving with that

Cam belt or alternator belt?

My cam belt was well within the service interval (only vehicle I've cared enough about to get the belt replaced on), but the alternator belt tensioner failed, the alternator belt started flogging and got shredded, shreds of alternator belt got wrapped around the camshaft wrecking the timing, and crash bang wallop. Engine went from perfectly fine to dead in about 10 seconds.

Which was nice.

(Sorry, auto trauma dump 😳). So it could have been a lot worse!

Her comments on your finances are unreasonable as it is nothing to do with her, but it likely comes from a place of caring about your safety. There is no way I would be driving children around in an unreliable car- you hear of so many horrendous situations that happen when stopped on a motorway hard shoulder. You don’t need to break the bank but scrimping on a family car is never worth it if you have a reasonable alternative as you seem to.

Parents are against investments, generally play it safe

Their house is paid off, downsized & go on holiday multiple x a year, it’s just sat in saving account probs earning 4%. They’d have got about £150 on what I gave them. We’ve earnt 700 while it’s been in stock market

Just collected car this morning, yeah it was alternator belt.

same situation 70 to stopping almost immediately

Erm, could you not?

A lot of us reading this have no choice but to drive on motorways with our kids in cars that are over 10 years old.

She’s right. Your cars have over £100k on them and are over 10 years old. They’re only going to become more unreliable and cost more to repair. The thing that would (and did) push me into selling was that I no longer trusted the car after I broke down on the motorway.

At least mine had the courtesy to break down on a little country lane about a mile from home, on a child free weekend with no particular plans.

We just do whatever comes up on the MOT
So potentially bare minimum to be honest

the Sportage we bought last year, first MOT service and fixes were 500ish. But it needed new levers as they said fog lights didn’t work

Personally, as someone that buys a car and keeps it until the wheels fall off, we’ve just been in a similar position. My 16yr old car has a few bills looming & the EML came on. It didn’t start in the hot weather so we pulled the plug. Im not throwing good money after bad. We got a bank loan over 5yrs & paid £15k on something highly practical, under 3yrs & 15k on the clock. We hope it will last 10+ years with regular maintenance. Got a 4yr gap insurance policy to go with it. I’m unprepared to withdraw from savings because my investments will outgrow the interest costs of the loan. The repayments over 5yrs are comparable to a lease deal on a new one, except we own the asset.

I would pay your parents back the £3.5k and get something more reliable and safe with a youngster, using a bank loan. You don’t want to be breaking down on a motorway with children.

Oh right, if you're going to buy older cars and ignore the service schedule (belts and oil changes basically), then you really are asking for trouble and guaranteeing that what happened to you was going to eventually. Contrary to popular belief a 10 year old 100k mile car isn't necessarily an unreliable deathtrap, but you do need to do the basics.

In my opinion it’s the only reason we have ‘money in the bank’

if we compare to our friends, who earn similar situations (salaries, 1 kid, house) , they all have BMWs, Mercedes, range rovers or nicer newer cars on PCP.

Whereas we’ve driven cars worth Upto 3.5k for past 10 years (different ones). We have large pensions, 100k+ in investments & on track to retire early
We go on holiday multiple times, they maybe go once a year

Since having our baby 16 months ago. As a family we’ve done 4 abroad trips, plus 3 month motorhome trip & DH has done 5 solo trips. (Including some work ones)

We don’t earn London salaries but cars are where we save £300/400 a month each compared to our friends

@ISO3456 you’ve done all those holidays and not paid your parents back