AIBU to wonder if this friendship drama is typical at nine?

[FootballOn]

What are 9 year old girls usually like with regards to friendships and jealousy/trying to stitch each other up and stir up drama etc?

I really can’t work out if the kids my daughter is “friends” with are acting as typical 9 year old girls or if they are unusual in their cunning?!

It might help to say what they're doing 😁

Some girls are drama queens from eight-ish to 15-ish. They fall out over slights real and imagined, make up again, divide into different sub-groups, exclude one girl or several. All a parent can do is talk things through if asked and leave them to get on with it. When my DD was at the beginning of this stage, I focused on getting them to solve issues themselves, resisting invitations to intervene because that means you have to judge without knowing all the facts.

They are a nightmare at this age in my experience!

Good point! 😂
Whispering while laughing looking at her,
anything DD does well, she’s “showing off” or “thinks she’s the best”, but very quick to point out anything she isn’t good at and draw attention to it/laugh, often in group games/dance routines at playtime the same girl or 2 girls will make a drama out of literally nothing to sabotage the game (have previously admitted they have done this on purpose to spoil games/dances where they haven’t been the centre of it), there’s a lot of tactical tears so if someone else (often DD) has any form of attention one of these girls will find a reason to “be upset” so the attention is back on her, one example being for my daughter’s last birthday party she had invited every girl in the class but despite her mum having already RSVP’d, this girl pretended to not have been invited and “be upset” to create a scenario where instead of being able to enjoy talking about her party, DD had to defend herself as people asked why she had “been so mean to not invite…”

most recently boys are (unbelievably!) beginning to say they have crushes on DD and this girl in particular will instantly announce she has a crush on whichever boy has shown an interest in DD presumably to try and “lay a claim” so DD doesn’t get to dare reciprocate “having a crush”

there seems to be a lot of backstabbing and bitching/stirring up drama. I’ve been shocked by the deviousness of it.

Theres a couple like this in DD’s class, I’m wondering if this is typical for their age or unusual as I really don’t remember it being like this when I was their age 😳😂

Sadly that sounds like learned behaviour….. whether from an older sibling / parent or television show.

It’s typical of some girls that age. IME they’re the ones to avoid. The other girls will see through it soon enough.

Is this Year 5? Classic nightmare for girls, in my experience. When my DS was this age, there was a lot of drama with the girls in his year. Ditto for DD’s year in Y5. Still a bit of it going on in Y6 for her, but as always, it’s just one or two characters always stirring it up. She is really looking forward to moving on to a new school in September.

DD tries to steer clear of them but one of them literally is all over everything my daughter does, doesn’t do, I can only think she envies her in some way to act so horribly when DD just tries to stay out of her way, but what infuriates me is nobody ever calls it out, school couldn’t care less when they’ve been told of various things this girl has said and done, it’s just a bit maddening that they behave in such unnecessary ways but that nobody seems to clock onto it either.