AIBU to struggle to do all the things

[cadburyegg]

My children are in y6 and y3 and this week is mental.
Yesterday y6 performance #1. Fortunately my exh went to this one.
Today y6 SEND transition morning to secondary, had to take, collect and speak to SENDco. Probably 2 hours out of the work day
My mum usually does school pick up on Tuesdays but she’s not well so I did it.
Tomorrow y6 evening at secondary although they’ve moved it earlier due to the football so it now starts at 3.30!!! More rearranging at work.
Thursday 6pm y6 performance #2, this one doesn’t require any work negotiations fortunately.
I don’t work Fridays, at 10am I have a rescheduled appt from last week that I had to change due to school closure due to weather.
In the afternoon I’m helping at the school fete. Obviously optional but I signed up ages ago before they had to rearrange things. And they are always desperate for volunteers
How am I supposed to hold down practically a full time job and do everything. I feel like I am drowning.

It's impossible to do everything. You need some down time too! Can you make things easier after the fete, get a takeaway and have a chilled weekend? (Well as chilled as it can be with kids!)
If it all feels too much, it's ok to cancel the non necessary things. Circumstances change. Is next week any quieter?

You have....help??

Friday: pick up kids returning from school camp at 2.30pm. Monday: take kids to secondary for first transition day. Drop off at 9.30, pick up at 2.30 (luckily managed to lift share). Tomorrow: secondary transition evening (starts at 4). Thursday: doctors appointment at 5, Scouts at 6.30. Next Monday: second secondary transition day, drop off at 9.30, pick up at 2.30. Next Wednesday: motherfucking sports day. Next Wednesday evening: play.

My ex has never attended a single school event. Never. Once. Never ever once.

I swear they're trying to kill us.

I think the problem with secondary transition days and SEN kids is that you want them to do all the transition days possible in the desperate hope everything will be OK for them at secondary.

I've tried to skip sports day, but apparently it's absolutely essential that I be there to cheer DS2 coming in last at everything 😬

Oh, and all the other mums on the class WhatsApp group aren't raising a single complaint other than wailing that it's too soon for their precious babies to be leaving primary.

Anyone would think I lived in Stepford.

The end of primary school is crazy and one I didn’t appreciate how much and how hard it would be!

YANBU

Hang in there OP, secondary school calms down with the demands. If your children like drama / music / volunteering for open evenings etc. at least they tend to be after school - still a pain, but less of an issue with work.

Assemblies etc not a thing. Although you should still have SEN meetings.

It’s just normal life when you have kids.

What, women taking a massive hit to their career and work life is "just normal life"?

Things should be designed better. It's the 21st century.

All the things are difficult to fit in!

I agree the end of yr 6 is very time consuming for the parents - whilst brilliant for the kids, it takes its toll! I was totally unprepared for this with DS last yr, as dd was the covid year (class of 2020) and totally missed out.

But all the things are difficult right through school I think.

My ex is totally shit with playing his part too and we don’t live anywhere near family. And I work full time in a busy role! 🥵

I missed lots of my daughter’s events. I was a brand new teacher and because of the weekends and holidays, I was too nervous to ask. My colleagues were all much older and no one had primary aged children so I did it see them asking.
Fast forward a few years, my new head had babies and younger colleagues joined and had babies too. Now, someone is getting cover most weeks to attend things and I have lots of regrets about the things I missed and can’t get the time back.
I’m not saying it’s not tricky, but they’ll be so glad that you’re there and you’ll be glad you were too.

This. thanks for understanding. I mean no shade to the teachers or schools at all. I just don’t see how I’m meant to do all of these things whilst hold down a job, which I need to be able to house/feed/clothe the children I’m rushing around for. I’m sure someone will be along shortly to tell me that it’s my fault for picking a shit dad for the kids.

I could have written your post right down to the school fair, secondary transition days etc plus leavers disco, concert, assemblies. I also have a year 6 and a year 3 and this term has been relentless. I've had to buy extra annual leave at work as I've used so much attending all these things. No advice just solidarity!

This is true - it is easier with the secondaries. And tbh my dd has been pretty independent with her stuff for a few years.

The schools do do things like have music evenings on the same night as one another when you have kids at different schools though!

Yes!! As though they tell you these things up front.

My exh was an incredible uncle when we met, and was always talking about having lots of kids and the things he’d do with them.

People who ended up with decent husbands were lucky, not oh so clever.